...
..
.

i don't think much about the priorities of our society
all our actions seem to lead us to war & violence & suffering
& if you're crying for peace & reason you're a hippy or a radical
but tell me what's so radical about love?
what's radical about loving the earth?
what's radical about knowing your worth?
what's radical about wanting a better day
- a better way - happiness?
jesus was a radical
buddha was a radical
martin luther king was a revolutionary
bob marley was a radical
john lennon, the dalai lama, & gandhi, too...

i don't recall - do you - giving my vote to the few
who think it's okay to put children in jail
march off to war not knowing what for
who put the power in the hands of a man
that doesn't understand the shit you do comes back to you?
because it sure as hell wasn't me
i will not follow because you tell me to
i will not agree with things i don't believe
i demand the right to raise my voice
so i can tell you what i see...

you can close your eyes & fool yourself that certain things aren't happening
but that doesn't make them go away
& you can sit defeated in the shadow of all the work that needs to be done
or you can stand up & make a change
problem or solution, what will it be?
action, indifference, or apathy?
if we're not helping, we're helping to cause it all
one people one planet one earth one world to call our own
there's not one problem here that isn't yours to share
from blindness comes only more blindness & nothing is served by your silence
when you turn from the pain of another you turn from us all...

i'm wondering what it's gonna take for us to wake up to the lie
& pull our heads out of the sand
the lie that we must take & eat & buy
more than we really need just to satisfy our greed
and all the while the planet's groaning underneath our weight
as we casually wipe out 200 species everyday
do you blink and eye - do you think to cry?
or are you still living blind to what must surely be our demise...
[- extracts from the album Peace By Peace by Rachael Brady]

...
..
.

Some of my otherwise brilliant and productive friends
(like scoundrels and their flags)
take final refuge in character assassinations
they ignore the issue and deny the relation between our consumption and brutality
So you can go ahead and roll your eyes and marginalise me
socially penalise me: play on my insecurities
And you can feign ignorance, but you're not stupid, you're just selfish
And you're a slave to your impulse
And I kinda thought we all shared common threads in that we gravitated
here to challenge the conventions we've been fed by a culture that treats creatures like machines
If you buy that shit then how long 'til it's me who serves as your commodity?
Through institutionalised violence and oppression of workers and women raped by sexism...

Consider someone else: stop consuming animals...

I know as well as anyone that it does less good
than harm to be this honest with a conscience eased by lies
But you cannot deny that meat is still murder, dairy is still rape
And I'm still as stupid as anyone, but I know my mistakes
I have recognised one form of oppression, now I recognise the rest
And life's too short to make another's shorter - animal liberation now.
[- Propagandhi lyrics]

I don't have much to write about today, but I'll share this with you:

I've had a bit of an epiphany, sparked by some lines in a book I'm reading by Thich Nhat Hanh called "Peace Is Every Step."   

I have decided that I am going to try to ENJOY writing this play, instead of gritting my teeth and struggling towards an ending!  What a concept, hey? Because I don't know where it's going or how it's ending... but if I can enjoy playing with it, and enjoy the act of creating it... hopefully the work will be infused with great energy and spirit, and will be more satisfying to me, as well as to anyone who happens upon it.

Yay.

Here are the lines from whence this inspiration came:

"When we do not trouble ourselves about whether or not something is a work of art, if we just act in each moment with composure and mindfulness, each minute of our life is a work of art... If we just act with awareness and integrity, our art will flower..."

So thanks Thầy.  Nicely spoken.

Now get out there and enjoy your lives!

I am reading a new book (new to me) by Thich Nhat Hanh called Peace is Every Step.  It's a great manual on how to be seated in the moment in a society that values get-up-ad-go rather that sit-down-and-breathe. 

I love it.

One segment was talking about Buddhist temple bells, and how great they are for this practice... any time a bell would ring in the temple, all of the monks would pause, breathe, return to center.  The bells were a reminder to do this several times throughout the day.  Old Thich said that that church bells served this purpose when he was in Europe.... bummer we don't have temple bells OR church bells around here.

But I think I'll get some bells to hang in my house... in a high traffic area, so that every time I walk by them I can ring them... oh, and maybe a little chime at my desk at work...

Anyhoo, it seems like a lovely thing to do... I'll keep you posted!

xoxoxo

--

Dropping Keys

The small man

Builds cages for everyone he knows.

While the sage,

Who has to duck his head when the moon is low,

Keeps dropping keys all night long

For the beautiful

Rowdy

Prisoners.

One of Buddha's sermons puts this very clearly with a powerful example that stresses the need to love your enemy no matter how cruelly he treats you: Even if thieves carve you limb from limb with a double-handed saw, if you make your mind hostile you are not following my teaching.

Figures like the Dalai Lama (who won the Nobel Peace Prize) demonstrate in word and deed Buddhism's commitment to peace. "Hatred will not cease by hatred, but by love alone. This is the ancient law." Many Buddhists have refused to take up arms under any circumstances, even knowing that they would be killed as a result. The Buddhist code that governs the life of monks permits them to defend themselves, but it forbids them to kill, even in self-defence. The pure Buddhist attitude is shown in this story:

[caption id="attachment_1430" align="alignright" width="90" caption="Thich Nhat Hanh"][/caption]

A Vietnam veteran was overheard rebuking the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, about his unswerving dedication to non-violence.

"You're a fool," said the veteran, "what if someone had wiped out all the Buddhists in the world and you were the last one left. Would you not try to kill the person who was trying to kill you, and in doing so save Buddhism?"

Thich Nhat Hanh answered "It would be better to let him kill me. In killing I would be abandoning the very teachings I’m seeking to preserve. So it would be better to let him kill me and remain true to the spirit of the Dharma."

source: adapted from BBC Religion

I have been looking for that photograph for the longest time. I have flipped through so many photo magazines in book superstores trying to find it.  Today I remembered to google it.  Google has changed my art of living, let me tell you...

Anyway, I first saw the picture on this PBS documentary about photography --it might have been about Time Magazine photos (Though I couldn't find the picture in a collection of Time Magazine photos throughout history...)   It's the skull of a Japanese soldier that the girl's boyfriend sent to her during WWII.  Apparently, it was the trend to send enemy skulls across the sea to loved ones.

The photograph astounds me, as it probably does anyone, because of the way it exposes the society's tendency (in that day? have we changed at all?) to shrug off human life.  It just seems so... I don't know.. Ancient Rome or something.  It's one thing for the folks at war to be immune to the horror of skulls and things, but the fact that this girl, far from the fighting, can share a room with it and not flinch is a bit hard for me to digest.  Or maybe there is something in that expression--almost underneath the expression--that seems to ask whose skull it is.  I mean, if anyone received such a "keepsake," I hope they asked the question at least once.

Today in my reading of Thich Naht Hanh's Living Buddha, Living Christ, he referenced Jesus' bid for us to love our enemies and said that once we love our enemy, he is no longer our enemy.  Clever for Jesus to put it this way, then.  We do have to do the loving to get to a place where we have no enemies (not that we can see). It's not just something we're going to wake up knowing.  Having no enemies is a practice, like anything else.

In buddhism, when you feel anger, and you do not deal with the source of that anger, you water the flower of hostility and hatred within you. Likewise, when you feel joy, and you let the happiness shine through, your flower of happiness grows. I'm not saying to ignore anger or sadness or any negative emotion, i am saying to openly deal with those feelings. When you are angry with someone, it is first important to realize that you are angry. It is perfectly normal to get upset. This has happened in the past and it will happen in the future. You can only hope that you won't feel that feeling as often. Even that may calm you down. Then it is important to understand why you are angry/sad/jealous.  What happened to make you feel the discomfort? Are there multiple reasons? Third, and only once you have done the previous things, face your feeling head on. Approach the person who has angered you. Politely tell them that you are upset, and talk about it. If things are done this way, we find ourselves much more calm and less upset than normal. Small things don't bother us. Life is more enjoyable.

So when you are able to do that, you are able to concentrate on what makes you happy instead of upset. Even psychologists will admit that the more good you do, the better you feel and vice versa. Happiness is contagious. Have you ever been around someone who is genuinely happy often? You like to be around that person. You feel better about yourself and about others when you are around them. When you actively water the flower of happiness it not only grows in you, but also plants seed in others. It spreads. It is manifested in yourself and leaves no room for the seeds of anger or unhappiness.

Don't get me wrong, if you have read my blog since the beginning then you know that i have been angry. We all have. But, I openly dealt with that anger. You all got to see it. I noticed it was there and i'm in the process of dealing with the anger i hold towards certain people. And i've noticed that the happiness inside is actively growing. Not because time coverd it up (whoever said it is time that heals all is no buddhist), but because it is part of an active process of making yourself a better person. A process of effort and lots of pain and struggle, but it is worth it in the end.

Smile, it feels good (and makes others smile)!

btho

When a storm comes, it stays for some time, and then it goes.
An emotion is like that too -- it comes and stays for awhile,
and then it goes.  An emotion is only an emotion.  We are
much, much more than an emotion.  We don't die because
of one emotion.  So when you notice that an emotion is
beginning to come up, it is very important that you put
yourself in a stable sitting position.  Then focus your attention
on your belly.  Your head is like the top of a tree in a storm.
I would not stay there.  Bring your attention down in the trunk
of the tree, where there is stability.

When you have focused on your belly, bring your attention
down to the level just below the navel and begin to practice
mindful breathing.  Breathing in and breathing out deeply,
be aware of the rise and fall of the abdomen.  After practicing
like this for ten, fifteen or twenty minutes, you will see that
you are strong -- strong enough to withstand the storm.  In
this sitting or lying position just stick to your breathing the
way that someone would stick to a life vest.  After some time
the emotion will pass.

This is a very effective practice but please remember one
thing: Don't wait until you have a strong emotion to practice.
If you do, you will not remember how to practice.  You have
to practice now, today, while you are feeling fine, when you are
not dealing with any strong emotions.  This is the time to begin
learning the practice.  You can practice for ten minutes every
day.  If you do this for three weeks -- 21 days -- it will become
a habit.  Then when anger rises up or you are overcome by
despair, you will naturally remember the practice.  Once you
succeed, you will have faith in the practice and you will be
able to tell your emotion: "Well, if you come again, I will do
exactly the same thing."  You will not be afraid because you
know what to do.

~Thich Nhat Hanh: Be Free Where You Are

1. Es ist der natürliche Verlauf, dass ich alt werde. Es gibt keinen Weg, dem Altern zu entgehen.
2. Es ist der natürliche Verlauf, dass ich krank werde. Es gibt keinen Weg, der Krankheit zu entgehen.
3. Es ist der natürliche Verlauf, dass ich sterben werde. Es gibt keinen Weg, dem Tode zu entgehen.
4. Es ist der natürliche Verlauf, dass alles woran ich hänge, und alle, die mir lieb sind, sich verändern. Es gibt keinen Weg, der Trennung von ihnen zu entgehen.
5. Meine Taten sind meine einzigen wirklichen Besitztümer. Den Folgen meiner Taten kann ich nicht entgehen. Meine Taten sind der Boden, auf dem ich stehe.

Das soll keine Warnung  vor kommendem Unheil sein, sondern spricht einfach nur tief in mir verankerte, ständig anwesende Ängste an. Diese Ängste zu unterdrücken hilft mir nicht - sie beeinflussen doch mein Handeln und werden nur offenkundiger durch Unterdrückung. Die letzte Gewissheit zeigt mir den Ausweg und ist die wichtigste "Einsicht".

Auch das habe ich aus Thich Nhat Hanh's Buch: "Transformation at the Base".

Und wenn mal wieder irgendwas schief läuft - zum Beispiel der Dax wegkracht - oder ein Kunde mit Auftrag droht - oder auch ein Freund sich ärgert - dann denk ich daran und versuche einfach zu helfen, etwas zu tun - weil das ist es, was bleibt!

A week ago last Sunday, I let go of my regular day-to-day life and journeyed down to the shore again. Once I exited the Garden State Parkway, I opened my car windows wide to welcome the ocean breeze that greeted me as I got closer to the sea. As I turned down the road that would lead me to the beach, I felt all of the tension melt away as I inhaled the cool salty air. Once again, I was taken back to my origins and my inner self as I experienced a week of just "Being".

Even though I had the perfect opportunity to sleep in, I rose every morning around 6am and had my tea out on the balcony. I listened to the songbirds greet the day and watched the terns and gulls as they wheeled across the sky. Constant was the gentle roar of the surf, a sound that spoke to the deepest parts of me as I watched the waves rise and fall.

I walked the beach every morning for about an hour before the beachgoers started to stake their claim on the sand. I passed fishermen sitting patiently next to their rows of poles and wide-eyed small children splash and dart at the water's edge. I felt such a sense of calm envelop me as I placed one foot in front of the other and moved along the beach. As Eckhardt Tolle suggests in his books "A New Earth" and "The Power of Now", I emptied my mind as best I could and immersed myself completely in that moment. It was challenging at first because my mind wanted to think about all of the issues in my life and what was going on. I pushed past those thoughts and kept bringing myself back to the feel of my feet against the sand and the rhythm of my breathing. I came to understand what Thich Nhat Hanh refers to when he suggests "walking meditation" as a good way to connect with yourself. Not only was I able to connect with myself but I also felt connected to everything else. This gave me such a great comfort.

I'm fascinated by waves and always have been since I was very young. There is something magical about the way they are created , how they rise and peak and then crash onto the shore. Studying the movement of waves has taught me of life cycles - gestation and birth: the rising up and creation of the wave, the period of a life: the wave at its full height and crest, and death: the falling down to earth and dissolution. The wave is absorbed back into the water to create another wave and this cycle keeps repeating itself. Just like our lives.

More shore pictures and musings to come...

I'm reading about 50 books right now but one of them is Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk exiled in France. The book is basically a comparison between Buddhism and Christianity. I've been doing this comparison for a while, ever since P'George gave me a book called The Art of Living or something like that. If I had to sum the religions up now, I'd say that Christianity (at it's core) is a relationship with a living God and Buddhism is a lifestyle. Thich Nhat Hanh spends a few sentences urging Christians to also see their religion as a lifestyle--urging us to follow Jesus' example and live as He did.

When the WWJD bracelets came out, I heard lots of criticism about trying to imitate Jesus, mostly, that what was appropriate for Jesus is not always appropriate for us. On one level, I agree--God doesn't call all of us to be single (there goes the human race), to give rock star teaching tours, or to die at the age of 33. But if we do pay attention to Jesus' teachings, we see that there are things that Jesus did and carried out that he expects of us. You know, the things he constantly repeats, like forgiveness, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, etc.

Since I've started to read about Buddhism and carry on with Buddhist friends, I have been very interested in my social conduct. I probably was interested in it before I lived in Thailand but my friendships there often alerted me to questions of behavior. As most people who know me know, I was/am astounded by the generous, selfless, and positive attitudes of my Thai friends. And it's contagious. Once I've spent a weekend with people who don't complain, it's easy to see why Christians are constantly urged not to complain. It makes a huge difference.

I have observed that I am very aware of how to behave but I don't really work hard to obtain good behavior. Or, I have confused good behavior with stuff like avoiding certain movies or music. Maybe it's our puritan heritage, but I spent some time assuming that "Good" must start with "No." No drinking, no dancing, no other scandalous stuff. It seems like the good Jesus requires is more about allowing than shutting out. We allow ourselves to forgive, we allow ourselves to take the time to help heal or feed someone, we allow God to do the judging, etc. And it seems that obedience to God, in Jesus' terms, almost always involves another person.

Though certainly, every aspect of Buddhism doesn't ring true with me, a great deal of it does and I see that the core teaching is something that should be considered by anyone in search of the Way the Truth and the Life. And by core, I mean this quote I pulled from the book:

It is not words or concepts that are important. What is important is our insight into the nature of reality and our way of responding to reality.

The resurrection of Jesus is reality to me--once I experienced resurrection in my own life, the reality of His resurrection has permeated every aspect of my life. Now that I know this freedom, I am free to consider how I will respond to it.

Although Buddhist studies have not been a part of my background, and I have had no training in mindfulness meditation, I am always struck by how much my meditations seem to resonate with those traditions.  As I've said before, the deepest truths can be arrived at and expressed through many different paths.  

I enjoyed visiting the Plumline website.  Plumline describes itself as "Building online Sangha in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh".  For those who don't know, "Sangha", roughly translated, means spiritual community.  A community of like-minded practitioners is felt to be essential to support on-going spiritual practice in Buddhism.    

Those interested in Buddhism may want to visit Plumline.  Thich Nhat Hanh, from whom they derive their inspiration, has written one of my all-time favorite poems - "Call Me by My True Names".  (See Thich Nhat Hanh speaking on mindfulness on YouTube.)

I've come to feel our podcasts are like a giant group meditation.  We don't see and meet each other for the most part, but we truly are meditating together -- thousands of us.  I've hoped to provide some support for that experience in this blog and on our Meditation Oasis website. Perhaps there are yet other ways that we can create community for those who are interested. I've thought of different ways -- an online course, a chat group, a conference call.  I'm not sure what will actually manifest, and would be interested in your ideas.

Hanh also states, in the same inspiring book, that when we are in fact touched by the wonders of life..we need to bask in their golden memories and embrace them..for they will sustain our very souls.  "When we experience a positive mental formation like joy or compassion, we should breathe in and out in order to be aware of this joy and compassion in us.  When we embrace our joy and compassion with mindful breathing like this, they will be multiplied ten or twenty times.  Mindful breathing helps us sustain them for a longer time and experience them more deeply.  Therefore it is important to embrace our positive mental formations, like joy, happiness, and compassion, when they arise, because they are a kind of food that helps us grow."

Think back over your day, your week, last month, last year...and list the things that made  you laugh out loud...made you smile...or held you in awe.  Write them down so that you don't forget them. 

Then spend some time with each one of them and breathe in and out slowly while you remember each one of them...taking them in to your entire being...remembering the emotions, the colors, the tastes, and any other feelings  that you experienced.  Have fun with it...re-play it often...bask in it.  You might even have so much fun with this exercise that you'll laugh and smile more often ...and will begin to live your life with more gusto....more oomph.  I am sure that you will begin to feel more contented and grateful for the life that you have...and will be opened up to the idea of helping others find the joy in their lives.

Here are some things on my list:

• Trying on my brand new navy blue Jochen Hecht - Buffalo Sabres hockey jersey adorned with Hecht's number 55 in vivid yellow satin, complete with the Buffalo Sabres emblem on the front and Hecht's name across the back... along with the Jochen Hecht Sabres medallion necklace that I ordered from ebay.  I was laughing with glee as I viewed myself in the mirror.  It made me feel young and light again...like I did in high school and college...wearing a boyfriend's sports jersey - the carefree days of crushes and innocence.  Go Sabres!  Go Jochen!
• Standing on a chair in my formal dining room trying to catch a huge grasshopper that was yes...true to his name...hopping all over the place.  Quite comical.
• Going to the Albright-Knox Art Gallery on a whim.  Saw a photograph by Alfred Stieglitz  of Versailles...the day after I watched the new Marie Antoinette movie.  Loved the mystery of the photograph...the haunting beauty of the palace and its grounds.  Loved the Monet Towpath at Argenteuil with its crisp snow and wintry feel, and the works of Pisarro, Cezanne, Matisse, Chagall, Gaugin, Picasso, Van Gogh  The Old Mill with its turquoise and violet shades...the art, the colors, the new arrangements of the paintings that I've been around for years, felt like home.
• Picking up sea glass with my daughter on the lake Erie shore. Finding pieces of colorful glass and pottery...wondering who had owned them before..where they had come from. Feeling the wind whip through or hair and the waves of the incoming tide lapping at our legs.  Watching my daughter laughing with glee as she found an interesting stone...or a great big rock that she could stand on to survey the scene...how grown up she has become.
• Sitting by the dying embers of the fire in the backyard fire pit  on the Fourth of July and reading by flashlight...watching with wonder the fireflies lighting up the forest...our own fairy land...and wondering if there were in fact fairies living in our midst.  It sure felt like it.
• Picking the last strawberries of summer.  Searching under the leaves to find the biggest and reddest berries to take home, berries that were nurtured by the sunlight of the longest days of the year...oblivious to our scratched arms, flushed faces and the sun beating down on us...trying to get as many of natures succulent fruits as possible...trying to prolong the beauty, the tastes, the smells, and the adventures of the season.

Breathe in and out.  Think back on your remembrances.  Bask in the joy and contentment that you have found and see how this joy has been magnified...how it has multiplied!  See how this exercise changes your outlook on life.  Share your insights with others.  You may even want to write about them!

We are all bodhisattvas, aware of what is happening and trying to help others wake up. But we are not perfect, of course. Whatever we are feeling, be it peace and joy or anger and hatred, vibrates throughout the cosmos. A bodhisattva angry at another bodhisattva sets up obstacles everywhere in the universe.

The first war in Iraq, ordered by President George H.W. Bush, caused suffering among many people in many places. Thich Nhat Hanh himself nearly canceled his planned trip to the U.S., but later relented and decided to go, realizing Americans working for peace needed his support and his sharing in their suffering. He understood that bodhisattvas and leaders like George H.W. Bush need help and understanding, expressed in language of love and intelligence; anger will not help. When ordering the ground attack, President Bush said, "God bless the United States of America," but we must tell him, without anger, that God cannot bless one country against another. Simply electing another president will not transform the situation. We can only transform greed and violence in ourselves and our society by changing our own consciousness and our own way of life.

The soldiers in America and other countries and in Iraq could only do what they did by plunging their bayonets into sandbags, practicing killing during the day, and even in their dreams at night. Only in this manner could they become inhuman, learning to kill, practicing fear and violence, in order to survive. The war came, the killing was massive, and we called it a victory. The troops that returned were deeply wounded from practicing violence both in reality and in their consciousness. Generations following them would receive their seeds of violence and suffering. Their wounds will be with us for a long time. How can we call this a victory?

From war, young people learn to see violence as a way to solve problems, making it easier to support the next war. To protect life, we have to see the reality, the true nature of war. Otherwise we will not be ready. Simply protesting the next war when it begins is not enough; that's too late. We must practice peace now. If we establish peace in our hearts, war will not come.

Those who have experienced a war directly have a duty to communicate the reality of it to those who have not. "We are the light at the tip of the candle. It is very hot, but it has the power of shining and illuminating." We can "wake people up," so that we can "avoid repeating the same horrors again and again. The war is in us, but it is also in everyone." Thich Nhat Hanh uses the example of Rodney King. Watching that incident, we were all beaten. But looking more deeply, we were also the policemen doing the beating. "They were manifesting the hatred and violence that pervades our society." We are all co-responsible. We all suffer. We accept violence as a way of life, watering the seeds of violence, even by watching violent TV programs and movies. We must transform this violence, or it will be our own child beaten or doing the beating.

Take your little boy or little girl by the hand, away from TV, Nintendo, and war toys, for a slow walk in the park. Sit together, and look closely at the tiny yellow and blue flowers among the blades of grass. Contemplate these miracles together.

Christianity is obsessed with the crucifixion, death, resurrection, life after death, everything BUT living in this world. But I DO live in this world. How should I live my life so that I no longer cause suffering to others, am not suffering myself, and can possibly prevent suffering in other human beings?

There's been a body of materials lying around since before Jesus came telling us in no uncertain terms precisely how humanity is expected to live. Gautama Buddha found Truth and then dedicated his life to sharing it. In his teaching I have at last discovered a Path that will lead me to the ideals Jesus taught, one that focuses on living here and now, one that is simple, straightforward, practical, and supported by 2500 years of practice. It's been there all the time.

Gautama discovered that life means suffering, suffering caused by focus on self (or, to be precise, attachment to THINGS by what we perceive as self). Suffering can be eliminated if all we'll end our attachment to things and get rid of self. Give up self, give up our life, eliminate suffering.

I believe the True teachings of Jesus, most of them, were destroyed by self-serving religious leaders in the first centuries and replaced by the misleading and inadequate dogma that Christians believe these days. Christianity has never made any sense to me. I might be the only person on the planet who can't accept it but I just can't go along with the "just because"'s that drive Christendom and pervade Christian doctrine. Christianity is especially confusing since it has splintered into so many factions some have said Christianity is a group of religions that center on Jesus Christ rather than a single religion with divergent views.

Jesus didn't teach anything new about how our Creator expects us to live. All he did was remind us--or clue us into--the knowledge of God that we all possess. While he lived here he showed how living for our Creator can be and should be done. His death and the reasons for it are not secondary, by any means, but they relate to the eternal rather than the temporal. His life and his teachings all focussed on the here and now.

The Buddha said we have an innate compassion within us, a desire to remove the suffering of others. It's not complete, it's muddled by self and attachment to things of this world, but it's there. Our goal should be to alleviate our own suffering by removing attachments and work to relieve the suffering of others. Jesus told us to love others instead of ourselves. What other purpose would that serve if not to drive us into compassion for others? Of all The Buddha's words it's his teaching on Compassion that draws me like nothing else. It is in recognizing the suffering of others and having compassion for them that humanity begins to fulfill its purpose. Jesus came to assure us our Creator loves us and that we should concentrate on living our lives in love with the Creator and dedicated to others and he would take care of all that comes next. This is Truth.

The way I see it, Gautama discovered it. Jesus validated it.

I shall seek to live it.

This post is the results of a book I'm reading called The Best of Buddhist Writing 2005. In it is a collection of short conversations, focussed meditations, by Thich Nhat Hanh called "Touching the Earth." His words touched me deeply. I recognize more fully what I must do. I have, therefore, decided to make the pledge just below, words taken from Thich Nhat Hanh's writing:

Buddha [and Jesus] ...I vow that I shall not seek happiness in the five sense pleasures. I shall not think that wealth, fame, sex, power and luxurious food and material objects can bring me true happiness. I know that if I run after these objects of craving, I shall incur great suffering and make myself a slave to these things. I vow not to run after a position, a diploma, power, money, or sex. I vow that every day I shall practice to give rise to understanding, love, and freedom. These elements have the capacity to bring true happiness for me and for the Sangha body now and in the future.

I have not done so well in the past. I shall do better with each passing day.

This vow taken July 3, 2007.

T.G.

Smile,
breathe
and
go
slowly.

Inspiration strikes at the oddest times, though, and wee-hour wakefulness generally prompts a bout of non-linear thought that can be very inspiring.  Today, for whatever reason, I am thinking of serenity.

One of the questions in the Ayurveda body-type test (more Deepak here, sorry!) asks if you consider yourself serene and easygoing, among other things.  I answered absolutely not, because I do tend to be an emotional weathervane for whatever is happening in my immediate vicinity.  However, as I observe my Elder Daughter and her turbulent (of course!) passage into womanhood, I'm rethinking that.

In the past 20 years, the person I am has changed dramatically.  As a young girl, as a teenager, and as a young adult, I was very emotionally volatile.  I was not only easily affected by just about everything, I seemed to seek out reasons to be upset or angry or hurt.  I refined overreaction and thin-skinned oversensitivity into an art form.  If I could possibly twist something someone said into a reason to be offended, I did, with gusto.  To top it off, I was horribly passive-aggressive and nonconfrontational, so once I'd worked myself up into that fit, I bottled it until it would escape in the form of slammed doors, snapped conversations and angry silences.  And occasionally, a broken dish or two.

Needless to say, the effect on my health, my marriage and my own mental stability were horrendous.  I won't blame my weight problems on it, though certainly I am a stress-eater and I have no doubt my general misery was a contributing factor to some degree.  I can definitely blame the GERD, the hypertension, the migraines, and the TMJ on it, in large part.  And unfortunately, I passed on my tendencies to my children.  ED spent the first years of her life watching me behave this way, and I will forever regret this as I try, now, with the peace and questionable wisdom I have gained, to help her unlearn them.  And I can only hope that YD was young enough when I finally made a change, that the habits will be less ingrained with her.  Only time will tell.

Time, however, is a wonderful equalizer.  As I sit here now, I realize that I am not that person anymore.  I am still very non-confrontational and I do still over-analyze things that people say and do.  I still wonder, when someone around me is upset, what it is that I did or said that caused it - even when I know, rationally, that it probably has nothing to do with me.  I am still afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, or dismissed as unworthy or unintelligent.  My decisions are still made, to some small extent, in response to fear and insecurity.

But I am not perpetually angry.  I do not resent the people around me for anticipated or imagined rejections and unreasonable expectations.  I do not despise myself for all of my perceived failings, whether real or illusory.  I do not feel that life has shortchanged me, or conversely, that I am unworthy of what I have and it will therefore be taken from me at any moment.  I do not hate myself, my life, or anyone else.

That might not sound like a lot, but it's huge.  To be at peace with myself...to be able to recognize that I have shortcomings, but not see them as a condemnation of my right to exist...to know that those around me may not always live up to my hopes, but that is likewise no condemnation of their right to be a part of my world...to understand that love and light and beauty and joy are so much more valuable, and more rewarding, than bitterness and "righteous" anger and hostility and hurt...I cannot ever have the words to fully explain what that means to me.

I still get angry.  Of course I do!  And sometimes, I'm okay with that, because sometimes anger is natural and logical.  When someone I care about is hurt, I get angry.  When I see something happening that is unjust and unfair and harmful, I get angry.  And sometimes, when I am hurt, I still get angry.  But I have somehow, along the way, learned how to let that go.  (I'm still working on learning how to calmly address the ones that can't, or shouldn't, be let go - I'm getting better at it but I still have a lot of work to do there!)  I have learned not to hold onto that anger and feed it.  I've learned to acknowledge it and accept it, find its source, and either note the changes that need to be made or realize that it's not logical and release it.  I've learned, in short, to be kind to myself and others.

I'll never be perfect.  I'll never be that person who smiles gently upon her attackers and blesses them in a voice like a choir of angels.  I'll never be that person who drifts peacefully through life with nary a ripple in the calmness of the emotional waters.  But I've learned to forgive.  I've learned to understand and accept without making excuses or condemning.  I've learned that anger is not always the right option, and it's rarely the first or best.  I've learned that while people will hurt you, and sometimes it absolutely is intentional, most of the time you do have a choice as to how hurt you will be and how deeply you will allow it to impact you.  Most of the time, I am able to assume the best and to give the benefit of the doubt.  That is not, as I once assumed, a sign of weakness or stupidity or anything except sufficient self-love to refuse to be bitter and unhappy.

It doesn't have to matter.  There is no obligation to be hurt and angry and offended.  Sometimes it's the right response, but sometimes it's not.  And as I've gotten older, and with the ups and downs life has had for me, I've learned a lot about knowing the difference.

So today, odd as it might sound, I'm thankful for getting older.  I'm thankful for the peace and serenity that it has brought me.  I'm thankful for lessons learned and changes made and judgment and discernment gained.  I'm not peaceful all the time, but I am a lot of the time, and it isn't because life has magically gotten easier or people nicer.  It's just because I've gotten older and surfed some rapids, and come out the other side stronger and better and calmer.  And I am so very thankful for that. Life is so much more beautiful and rewarding as a result.

[And I'll once again plug one of the tools that has helped me to learn these lessons.  I've mentioned it before, but honestly, I mention it every chance I get because of the profound effect it had on me:  the book Anger, by Thich Nhat Hanh.  It's not going to speak to everyone, I understand that, but if I am able to lead one single person who needs it, to find it, then my world is a better place.  :-) ]

My wish for you today is peace, and serenity, and a moment or two of sheer bliss - and much to be thankful for!  Also, I'll be away from the computer all weekend, so I hope that everyone has a beautiful weekend with lots of peace and relaxation and enjoyment.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Há uma série de técnicas de respiração que po­dem ser usadas para tornar a vida mais intensa e agradável. O primeiro exercício é muito simples. Enquanto inspira, você diz para si mesmo, "Ins­pirando, sei que estou inspirando". E enquanto expira, diga, "Expirando, sei que estou expiran­do". Só isso. Você reconhece sua inspiração como uma inspiração e sua expiração como uma expira­ção. Não é nem necessário recitar a frase inteira. Você pode usar apenas uma palavra de cada vez:

"Inspirando" e "Expirando' '. Essa técnica pode ajudá-lo a manter seu pensamento na respiração. Enquanto realiza o exercício, sua respiração irá se tornar calma e suave, e sua mente e seu corpo tam­bém irão adquirir calma e suavidade. Esse exercí­cio não é difícil. Em apenas alguns minutos você perceberá os frutos da meditação.

Inspirar e expirar são atividades importantes e agradáveis. Nossa respiração é o elo entre nosso corpo e nossa mente. As vezes pode ocorrer que nossa mente esteja ocupada com uma coisa e nos­so corpo com outra; com isso a mente e o corpo estejam desunidos. Quando nos concentramos em nossa respiração, "Inspirando" e "Expirando", reunimos novamente a mente e o corpo, tornando-­nos inteiros de novo. A respiração consciente é uma ponte de grande importância.

Para mim, a respiração é uma alegria imper­dível. Todos os dias, pratico a respiração consciente e na minha salinha de meditação escrevi esta frase:

"Respire, você está vivo!" Só a respiração e o sor­riso já podem nos fazer muito felizes, porque, quando respiramos conscientemente, conseguimos nos recuperar por inteiro e encarar a vida no mo­mento presente.

The first three pages of the chapter consist of the text of a treaty the monks and nuns at Plum Village have drafted to help re-establish peace between persons whose relationship has been interrupted by anger. The treaty opens with "In Order That We May Live Long and Happily Together, In Order That We May Continually Develop and Deepen Our Love and Understanding, We the Undersigned, Vow to Observe and Practice the Following..." It then contains two sections: first, for the one who is angry, and second, for the one who has made the other angry, each with a number of resolutions to observe. It closes with "We Vow, with Lord Buddha as Witness and the Mindful Presence of the Sangha, to Abide by These Articles and to Practice Wholeheartedly. We Invoke the Three Gems for Protection and to Grant Us Clarity and Confidence," followed by space for the parties' signatures. The remainder of the chapter consists of commentary on each of the resolutions.

For the angry person, the articles are to:

1. refrain from saying or doing anything to further escalate the situation;
2. not suppress the anger, but wait a certain period of time before expressing it;
3. practice breathing and take refuge in one's island;
4. calmly tell the offender within 24 hours, verbally or by Peace Note, of the anger;
5. ask for an appointment to "look deeply into the matter" together, verbally or by Peace Note;
6. not to pretend, out of pride or avoidance, not to be angry (We are brothers and sisters; "my pain must be his pain. My suffering must be his suffering.");
7. during activities of daily life, look deeply into the various causes of the anger. Among these is recognition that the other person suffers, and that he or she cannot really "cause" the anger. Only when that other person "overcomes his suffering will happiness in the community be authentic;"
8. apologize immediately upon realizing one's own unskillfulness and lack of mindfulness;
9. postpone the appointment, if one is still not calm enough to discuss the matter.

The articles for the person who has made the other angry are to:

1. respect the angry person's feelings without being dismissive;
2. not press for immediate discussion;
3. confirm the appontment, verbally or by note;
4. practice breathing and take refuge in one's island, recognizing that making another suffer does not relieve one's own suffering, but in fact increases it;
5. apologize immediately upon realizing one's own unskillfulness and lack of mindfulness, without attempting to justify oneself.

The Peace Treaty is a mindfulness practice. It should not be signed unless one is mindfully committed. When mindfully signed, not only the two partners, but all others as well will benefit. "Be harmonious and happy!"

Thich Nhat Hanh

Science, fact and truth is just a mix of the best knowledge you have in the present moment. At one time you would be burned at the stake for saying the earth is round. The day you think you know it all is the day you know nothing.

To prepare a person for living with another, Thay proposes an Institute for the Happiness of One Person, a one-year program with one course, "Looking Deeply." The student would discover all the flowers and compost in himself, both his own and that from his ancestors and society. At the end of the course, he or she would receive a diploma saying he or she is qualified to marry.

Upon entering a new relationship we are very excited and enthusiastic, but before long our illusions disappear and we discover the reality. For example, if our partner says something unkind and we become irritated, a knot will form in us. With mindfulness, we can learn the skill of recognizing and untying these knots before they become too tight or strong. Otherwise, we may bury our feelings and deny their existence, but they will always resurface. Learning this and other communication skills is important, so we don't plant seeds of suffering in those we love.

Practicing mindful living together - easiest if done from the start of the relationship - we can grow flowers rather than bring in more garbage. How much water does our flower need? How much sunshine? If we look into ourselves to discover our true nature or "suchness," we can learn the answers to these questions. Everything has its suchness; that's how we recognize an orange as an orange, not as a lemon. It's how we are able to cook safely with propane gas. Thay illustrates suchness with a story about a man who thinks he is a kernel of corn - he is unable to discover his own suchness. To meditate is to look deeply into the nature of things: a person's difficulties, aspirations, sufferings and anxieties - his or her suchness.

Loving speech and deep listening are important aspects of this practice. We must congratulate and express appreciation for things a person does well, not taking them for granted. This is the way to water the seeds of happiness. We should not say destructive or discouraging things.  If we cannot remain calm, we should refrain from speaking. Just breathe.

Everyone, even in a marriage, changes and grows. You need to promise to change and grow together. You can never know everything about one human being.

The monks and nuns at Plum Village practice Beginning Anew every week. This could also be practiced at the Institute for the Happiness of One Person. Beginnng Anew has three stages:

• flower watering: a speaker acknowledges the wholesome, wonderful qualities of the others
• expressing regrets for things we have done to hurt others
• expressing hurts and difficulties, ways in which others have hurt us

Compassionate listening, with the willingness to relieve the suffering of others without judging or arguing, is crucial. The goal is to heal the community, not harm it. The ceremony is ended with a song, or holding hands and breathing, or with hugging meditation.

Thay describes his invention of hugging meditation. He emphasizes that the hug must be real, done with all body, spirit and heart, not a gesture performed for appearances.  

Next, he discusses the importance of understanding in love. Without understanding, love will only cause the other person to suffer. He illustrates love without understanding by describing his own aversion to the smell of the durian fruit, very popular in Southeast Asia. If someone were to require him to eat durian as an expression of love, he would suffer. Understanding means "to see the depth of the darkness, the pain, and the suffering of the other person." You can make your partner unhappy, even with good will.

"Living together is an art...Art is the essence of life...The substance of art is mindfulness." We don't have to wait for the opening of the Institute for the Happiness of One Person. "You can begin practicing right away."