Here is a good article that breaks down how usual kickboxing classes work and what to do and not do (it's a women's site, but kickboxing is a great workout for men, too).

So the class began; about 40 other girls and I were punching and boxer shuffling before we knew it. We hardly warmed up and it was non-stop the entire hour. There were only two, VERY short, water breaks. Then, in the middle of the workout, the instructor starting screaming "Turbo!" which shocked all of us. Apparently, we weren't going fast enough, so turbo means doing kickboxing double-time. (For you non-musical readers, double-time means twice as fast as the beat of the music -- and since the music was techno, it was already really fast.)

It was a jumble of chaos. Everyone was going in different directions and kicking and punching at different times. It gave me a headache and my face was so red that the instructor had to come over and make sure I was alright -- that was not embarrassing at all.

So far, it has not done much for my coordination -- probably since as I was falling over during half of the class. However, I am in a lot of pain and according to the instructor of the class, that means it's working -- joy.

Despite everything, it was fun. I learned how to do a roundhouse kick, like Chuck Norris, and how to move and punch and kick simultaneously!

I am definitely feeling it, but I'll probably go back next week.

I found this list of safety tips for kickboxing that my instructor didn't tell me -- it's only for kickboxing with a partner, but it could be helpful...

UPDATE: If anything, my coordination has only gotten worse. Today, I made soup and a glass of water for lunch and it ended up all over my kitchen. Basically, I spilt the water, thought I had wiped it all up, and slipped on a puddle while carrying the soup. By the time I finished mopping up all of the hot and cold liquids, I wasn't very hungry anymore.

Chuck Norris não fica molhado, a água fica Chuck Norris. Essa é uma das frases sobre Chuck Norris, o ator e lutador de artes-marciais norte-americano. Existe um site, Chuck Norris Facts, que também fala dessas frases, e ainda sobre as preferidas dele.

Famoso pelo chute circular, conhecido como Roundhouse Kick, Chuck Norris vai ter um jogo para celular, produzido pela Gameloft. Ispirado no site Chuck Norris Facts, Chuck Norris: Bring on the Pain, nome do game, vai trazer o valentão para enfrentar diversas pessoas com o intuito de "vencer o comunismo". Alguns exemplos de inimigos são Fidel Castro e o ditador norte-coreano Kim Jong-il.

No game, o jogador poderá inserir rostos de pessoas nos personagens que vão lutar contra Chuck Norris. Essa é uma ótima  oportunidade para colocar aquela pessoa que você adoraria dar uma voadora, mas não tem coragem. Aproveitem e deixem que Norris faça o trabalho sujo.

O Roundhouse Kick é um golpe de Karatê (Mawashi Gueri) ou de Taekwondo (Tuyio Mondolyo Rurio Tchagui) em que o atacante move a perna num movimento circular, batendo no adversário com a perna ou pé. De acordo com a Desciclopédia, Chuck Norris é o único que pode aplicar o golpe lendário do estilo Chun Kuk Do, o Roundhouse Kick (Cliquem para ver o vídeo, não deu pra postar ele aqui). Eu  levei um desse golpe na orelha, e dei na cabeça de um colega, na época em que praticava Karatê, mas espero que o Norris não saiba! Rs!

Bring on the Pain promete trazer o senso de humor irônico dos internautas em diversos sites que falam sobre o ídolo das artes marciais. A previsão é de que o game saia ainda este mês.

Para descontrair um pouco, entrem aqui, digitem Find Chuck Norris e cliquem em Estou com Sorte. Vejam o que aparece. Pode ser old para alguns, mas vale a pena ver de novo.

]]> http://thelittlestwinslow.wordpress.com/?p=234 Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:31:50 +0000 NICK http://thelittlestwinslow.pt-br.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/how-the-hell-did-walker-texas-ranger-last-for-9-seasons/ Being home during the day allows you to accomplish many unimportant and menial tasks. I can catch up on my reading, lay by the pool, yada yada yada... and oh, yeah: catch fascinating daytime television marathons like....Walker Texas Ranger?

The Chuck Norris jokes are fantastic. And yes, Walker is entertaining in a B-movie type of way. Over the top, unintentionally funny, and absolutely insane. Because its absolutely insane that a network would let this show run for 9+ seasons! (The "+" indicated the TV movie made after the show's final season, just in case you were wondering!).

A reviewer on Amazon writes: "In the world of Walker, Texas Ranger, there's no problem that can't be solved with a big truck, a few roundhouse kicks, and the unflappable-bordering-on-comatose cool of martial-arts-champion-turned-B-movie-star Chuck Norris".  How many CBS heads ALLOWED this to go on for so long?

Watching the show now, I just don't understand it! I'm racking my brain to try to summon up the answers I'm looking for, and as I do, Walker is staring me in the face: morals ablaze, face as stern as ever. But hey, at least someone will help find the mother who abandoned her baby with Walker's girlfriend DA in the supermarket. Yes, that was seriously an entire episode.

No one ever sat around a huge corporate CBS table and said, "Yanno, this Walker Texas Ranger show is kind of crazy, no? Just a little...out there?"  Really? Really?!?!?!

I don't really know how to end this, so here are a few related tidbits about everyone's favorite (apparently!) kung fu cowboy ranger.  (See! It's asinine!)

Proof that I've been watching this all morning:

Proof that I'm not the only skeptic:

A Chuck Norris fact:

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Goodday.

James Brown's greatest hits.  I figured it would be a good omen if I heard "Get On the Good Foot".

The lab tech laughed at my decision and said that no one else had ever picked James Brown for their MRI.  I told her that everyone she had before me were Douchey McDouchersons.  And then I roundhouse kicked her in the teeth.

With my good leg.

Bitch.

Sorry - tangent.  I actually had a very nice experience there and I find out tomorrow if I need surgery or not.  Stay tuned.

Les dejo este video para que vean a Chuck Norris leer sus propios facts y vean como los aprueba :)

----------------------------

Revisando verdades sobre Chuck Norris con Geexteam

 Thanks.

Did you know that Chuck Norris is 68 years old?

roundhouse kick heheheh show!!! falando sobre Chuck Norris, quem gosta de seus facts pode acessar... http://www.chucknorris.com.br/ e descobrir todas as verdades. Está na 828's verdade, algum louco fez isso...

lol

^Would you take the red pill or the blue pill?

^Yay! A cheap table!

^Must be a Persian tree...

^FOR THE HOARDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!1

Notice how that tree has been freaking obliterated. Speaking of Chuck Norris, you won't find him on the secret comment page...

And check out Kelly Pettit's blog over in the sidebar.

Barry Eisler's half-breed freelance assassin John Rain returns to Tokyo for a second outing in Hard Rain, the sequel to Eisler's stunning 2002 debut, Rain Fall. Once again Rain is working with, or at least parallel to, Tatsu, a wily veteran of Japan's FBI equivalent, who aims to cleanse the Japanese government of its systemic corruption. To further this goal, he's persuaded the ever-cautious Rain to take out Murakami, a brutal gangster and hitman who specializes in making his killings look like suicide, a specialty Rain thought was his alone. Liquidating the dangerous and elusive Murakami proves to be a difficult task, however, one that leads to personal loss for Rain, and sets the plot on course for a climax that hits with the power of a well-delivered roundhouse kick.
Eisler builds on Rain's self-enforced isolation and loneliness as he expertly shows the reader Tokyo as channeled by Chandler, transforming the burgeoning metropolis into a noir catacomb of dimly lit hostess bars, scheming bureaucrats, shadowy intelligence agents, and outlaw martial arts dojos where thugged-up yakuza train for illicit death matches.
While the plot becomes complicated toward the novel's conclusion, Rain is a refreshing and complex character whom readers will want to see return for another installment. If you've a yen for a thriller that mixes suspense, intrigue, and action with a Japanese flavor and a hardboiled American attitude, Eisler's Hard Rain is an excellent choice. --Benjamin Reese

Critics nationwide singled out Barry Eisler's first novel, Rain Fall, with high praise. Publishers Weekly named Rain Fall one of the Best Novels of 2002. Hard Rain, Eisler's second John Rain novel, more than fulfills the promise of the first. Rain--half-Japanese, half-American, raised in both countries but at home in neither--is trying to leave his life as a freelance assassin. After killing a CIA officer who hunted him halfway around the globe, Rain goes underground, hoping to find the peace that has eluded him. But then Tatsu, his old nemesis from the Japanese FBI, comes to him with one last job: to find and eliminate a killer at large, a creature with neither compassion nor compunction, whose activities could tip the balance of power in Japan's corrupt politics and who seems to have designs on Rain's few friends. To protect them, Rain will have to pursue his most dangerous quarry yet through the crosshairs of the CIA and the Japanese mafia, where the differences between friend and foe and truth and deceit are as murky as the rain-slicked streets of Tokyo.

Order Hard Rain from Amazon for $5.59

Other Kindle Books of Interest
Rain Fall

Rain Storm

Killing Rain

Requiem For An Assassin

Bad Luck and Trouble

Antes que nada felicidades a todos los profes (y las maestras levanta pasiones ;) ) en este día. Hoy traemos el top 10 de los maestros del cine, los cuales son:

10 - COACH HERMAN BOOTH: de Duelo de titanes.
Un entrenador afroamericano llega a una escuela rural para convertir a un buen equipo de americano, en el mejor del estado. Lo único malo: tendrá que unir a los jugadores blancos con los morenos.

LECCIÓN: Al final lo logra, y les enseña que sí, el deporte es bueno, pero la amistad es mejor. Ahh… qué bonito.

9- JOHN KEATING: de La Sociedad de los Poetas Muertos.
Algo tienen los profes de literatura, algo tienen. En esta cinta un liberal maestro se opone al sistema de una prepa ultraconservadora y elitista.

LECCIÓN: Sus alumnos se enamoran de los libros (Oh, Captain…) y descubren el valor de la vida. Suena cursi, pero si la ves, vas a llorar (sobretodo en la escena del “despido”). También te subirás a un escritorio.

8- PROFESOR X: de Los Hombres X.
Que no te engañe su alopecia o que sus piernas no sirvan. Simplemente es el mutante más poderoso del mundo y para nuestro bien, está de la parte de los humanos. Tiene poder mentales superiores y es capaz de detectar a otros mutantes gracias a sus poderes telepáticos. Es el director de la Escuela para Jóvenes Dotados.
LECCIÓN: Los mutantes pueden ser amigos… a veces.

7- INDIANA JONES:
El doctor Henry Walton Jones además de ser un aventurero excepcional, es un respetado profesor de arqueología. Sí, las alumnas mueren por él, y los estudiantes quieren ser como él.

LECCIÓN: Cerrar los ojos cada vez que un artefacto religioso y antiguo se abre frente a nosotros.

6- ERIKA KOHUT: de La Pianista.

El sueño de muchos: una sensual y bella profesora semi-madura, que desea una relación física con su alumno. Sí el sueño, hasta que te enteras que es una mujer sadomasoquista-epídica. LECCIÓN: Revisar bien los bolsillos de las chamarras, quién sabe, tal vez te han plantado algunos vidrios rotos.

5- MR. SCHNEEBLY: De Escuela del Rock.
El prototipo de maestro barco: sin higiene personal y enfocado en sus asuntos personales. Sin embargo, todo cambió el día que descubre que sus chiquitines son aptos para la música y convirtió las 8 horas de escuela, en 8 horas de ensayos, bromas e Historia del Rock & Roll.

LECCIÓN: Confirmar algo que todos sabemos: la culpa de que no haya música de calidad, la tiene MTV.

4- PROFESOR SNAPE: de Harry Potter.
Es el mandamás en cuanto a las enseñanzas de Las Ciencias Oscuras. Maneja los hechizos y maleficios mejor que nadie. Aunque sea un poco amargado y extremadamente mamila, es de los pocos seres en este planeta dispuesto a arriesgarlo todo por el señorito Potter.

LECCIÓN: Oclumancia: para que Lord Volde… jamás se apodere de tu mente.

3- PAI MEI: de Kill Bill.
Tiene barba y cabello blanco (pero no es Papá Noel), es un maestrazo del kung fu. Es el responsable de que la tropa asesina de Bill sea tan mortífera. Y sí, su técnica pedagoga es muy ruda y sin sentimientos (deja tuerta a Elle por andar de rezongona); pero a quién le importa cuando eres capaz de romper un trozo de madera con tus dedos.

LECCIÓN: La técnica de los 5 puntos para explotar un corazón.

2- SEÑOR MIYAGI: de Karate Kid.
No necesitamos saber su nombre de pila, su apellido impone respeto. Pasó de ser un simple conserje a ser el maestro de Daniel-San en el arte de los karatazos. El plus (aparte de no atrapar una mosca con palillos): tenía una colección impresionante de autos clásicos, le regaló uno a su pupilo.

LECCIÓN: Encerar… pulir.

1- YODA de Star Wars.

El mejor maestro de todos los tiempos. No por nada es el mero mero de los Jedi. Más allá de vencer la muerte (se le aparece a Luke como un fantasmita verdesón), lo transforma en un verdadero guerrero.
LECCIÓN: de chismoso le dice a Skywalker que tiene una hermana, que tendrá que luchar contra su padre y… le enseña en el camino hacia La Fuerza (que siempre lo acompañó).

0- Chuck Norris de la Existencia de este Universo (y de los que falten)

Maestro del gran Yoda y el señor Miyagi, va antes que todos debido a que es más grande que todos los maestros mencionados anteriormente juntos, además de ser el creador y todopoderoso en el Universo existente y todo aquel Universo por existir.

LECCIÓN: Roundhouse kick can kill anyone or anything...

Faltan más maestros (como Kamesennin, Polo Polo, Mr Santana, por mencionar algunos), pero este es dedicado a los que hacen cine, hasta la próxima!

-----------------------------------

Platica de Chilango

Remember that time you got earrings up your nose? Boy, that was insane. Where squeaking sharks and shrunken peanuts are thrown, watch your head - it might rain.

The notorious Murphy, who deserves more than words can say. Plitter, platter, gulp, smash, beeeeep! Don't mess with him, it's a conspiracy - as if the whole store listens for his command.

Poor Charlie. He always did try to stand strong, noble. That is, until the day Murphy decided to teach him how to eat dollar bills.

Balloons! Balloons everywhere. Pop! Swish! Eeeeek! Shall I take them off the wall? NO! No, actually, just give me the numbers. If your wife isn't turning 40, try another. The stickiness solidifies over time.

And then, there are the random Giant guys - and some who actually work at CVS, Subway, FedEx. Hairspray bowling, roundhouse kick off the wall. Would you get me a sandwich? Is that my drink? Just put it on my tab.

I do love a truck. The scent of cardboard, structures everywhere. Sometimes an avalanche - but typically, that's just the streamers. Ooo, something new! A shovel labelled rake, some scented toilet paper holders, or my favorite - tire foam aka baby oil.

Oh no! It's a rampage! Duck! Flying scissors. Run! She's after you now. Hide! Oh, you didn't. Not again. Josh...

Should we discuss Christmas? Perhaps. It defines craziness. Tape, wrapping paper, bags, everything everywhere. But enough of that.

Ahh, customers. The VICs, VIPs, VAPs. Customers, people, and annoying. I should mention anal-retentive's eye - but I won't. Or balloon perfection freak - but I won't. Even the van lady - but I won't. No, all these pale when compared to the one who shocked his girlfriend and the world at once: I'm leaving you. People want me.

I must sign off, and leave the world of Dollar Alley. All the craziness, insanity. It all just fits into its own reality. Someday, I will return. But for now, all I have left to say is:

Thank you ... for telling me ...

Vou transcrever a notícia:

Aluno é acusado de terrorismo por ameaçar matar Chuck Norris

Um jovem de 16 anos de uma escola em Pennsauken, em Nova Jersey, parece ter esquecido o significado do ditado "Matar Chuck Norris não faz com que ele morra, só o deixa mais bravo". O garoto foi descoberto com uma lista de pessoas que ele supostamente tentaria matar e incluiu, além de três alunos e um funcionário da escola, o nome do ator norte-americano.

O jornal "Philadelphia Inquirer" informa que o adolescente foi enquadrado na política de "tolerância zero" da escola, que fez uma blitz nesta terça (8). Um porta-voz do colégio teria dito que "as crianças não vão tomar conta do prédio".

O garoto foi suspenso por "ameaças terroristas" e pode ser expulso. Segundo o jornal, a polícia não encontrou armas com ele.

Nome de Chuck Norris estava em 'lista negra' de um estudante de 16 anos (Foto: Reuters) (notícia: G1)

Agora o meu comentário: ESSE MULEQUE DEVE SER RETARDADO... como a noticia disse:"Matar Chuck Norris não faz com que ele morra, só o deixa mais bravo"

Se Chuck Norris tivesse piedade esse garoto estaria morto (com um Roundhouse Kick*) . Mas piedade nao está no vocabulário de Chuck. A mente transcedental de Chuck sabe que a pressão psicológica de tentar matá-lo fará seu suposto agressor definhar até a morte.

AVISO! Um Roundhouse Kick pode produzir a mesma energia de um big bang!!!
Número de joules produzidos por um Roundhouse Kick por milisegundo:

* O Roundhouse Kick é um golpe lendário do estilo Chun Kuk Do, que só pode ser aplicado por Chuck Norris, representando toda a divindade, poder e magnificência de Neferkheprure-waenre(1353-1335 a.c), faraó da XVIII dinastia do império novo a. G. (Antes de Getúlio Vargas). Estudos arqueológicos confirmam que tanto na Grécia antiga como na Roma dos Césares, Chuck Norris era adorado como divindade, com os nomes de Chuquipapolopolos na Grécia e Chuqinorriuns em Roma. Conforme tais estudos, ele foi o corredor que anunciou a vitória da Grécia na Batalha de Maratona e também convenceu Brutus a participar do assassinato de Júlio César, sob a ameaça de dar-lhe (nele, Brutus), um Roundhouse Kick no meio da cara. Tanto é verdade, que Chuck Norris sobrevive até hoje. (fonte: http://desciclo.pedia.ws)

Somente câmeras especiais conseguem paralisar uma cena do Chuck liberando um Roundhouse Kick

0,5 CNRhK equivale a: 1 Roundhouse kick, 5 = 10 RhK, 10 CNRhK = 20 RhK, 50 CNRhK = 100 RhK, 666 CNRhK = 1 CNF(Chuck Norris Fodendo, Dercy so morre se ele fizer isso com ela. Por isso com certeza Dercy é imortal.Ver Dercy "renovado" : http://desciclo.pedia.ws/wiki/Dercy ), 100000000000 CNRhK = 1 CNBDRhK (um Chuck Norris Bravo dando um Roundhouse Kick).

In light of all this I talked to a friend of mine today. Her grandmother died. Wham. That set my rear on the floor, hard. Here I am complaining about all this little petty crap and a dear sweet girl will never again be able to hold her grandmother.

It was about this time of year, six years ago, that my father died. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. He died in March and I didn't really start to grieve for him until July. He was a strong man. Six foot four, and fiercely protective of his family, I knew that when the chips were down he was always there. He and I didn't always see eye to eye, but in the last few months of his life, we finally made our peace. It was like having the dad I always needed.

When I was small my dad said that he would not die until he knew that my brother and I could take care of ourselves. When he died, I did not understand why he was gone. Didn't he know that I still needed him? I was still his little girl. Who would walk me down the aisle? Who was going to be there when I had a bad day? Who was going to tell me what to do when something went wrong with my car? I felt so lost. I won't lie, somedays I still do.  It wasn't until he was gone that I realized how much I desperetly needed him.

I dream about him sometimes. In it I always hug him. The first time I dreamt of him I hugged him at least three times. Growing up hugging my dad was not something you did. He had a job doing maintenence, and when he came home he was always too dirty. He didnt want us to get dirty. As we got older and he had left that job, it was hard to become accostomed to hugging him because for the last decade there were so many times when we couldn't.

My father suffered from OCD. I can not imagine how hard that must of been for him. He worked at a job where germs were rampant, and yet he could not mentally stand the thought of them. Then when he came home, he felt like he couldn't hold the most important things to him. But he did it. For a lot of years he did it. He made the sacrifice so that my brother and I could have a home, clothes, and food.

My dad died young. Yesterday would have been his 66th birthday. I miss him more than he will ever know. I go with my mom to put flowers on his grave. I know though, that he is not there. He is where I am, wherever I am. I have not seen him at all since he died. I thought maybe I would because he saw his mom. I do though sometimes smell his cologne and occasionally I will feel like someone is watching over me, protecting me. That's him, I know it's him. When I feel that way, all I can think is "I love you too, Dad".

1. Esmurrar uma velha e/ou uma criança de colo

2. Aprender Chun Kuk-Do (ou Chuck kun-Do)

3. Bicar um rinoceronte de uma encosta

4. Exumar o cadáver do Bruce Lee e espancá-lo como vingança pelo final de A Fúria do Dragão

5. Sanduíches de panda

Bem, tem sempre o ano que vem*. Feliz 68 anos, Chuck Norris!

*Se Chuck Norris não se cansar de nós e explodir a terra com um chute. A extinção dos dinossauros? É o que acontece quando Chuck Norris espirra.

Thanks. 

Don't try to ruin it.

Also, Panascakes came in 2nd place in the Blogcup, and I'm in the Blogcup in February for some reason, so vote for me!

2 - Chuck Norris não dorme. Ele espera.

3 - Chuck Norris está processando a NBC. Ele alega que "Lei e Ordem" são os nomes patenteados para suas pernas esquerda e direita.

4 - Se você pode ver Chuck Norris, ele pode ver você. Se não pode ver Chuck Norris, você pode estar perto da morte.

5 - Chuck Norris contou até o infinito. Duas vezes.

6 - A última página do Guiness diz em letras miúdas: "Todos os recordes do mundo pertencem a Chuck Norris. Nós apenas nos damos o trabalho de listar os segundos colocados em cada categoria.

7 - A Grande Muralha da China foi originalmente construída pra impedir a entrada de Chuck Norris naquele país. Ela falhou miseravelmente.

8 - Se você perguntar ao Chuck Norris que horas são, ele sempre dirá, "Dois segundos até...". Depois de você perguntar "Dois segundos até o quê?", ele dará um roundhouse kick na sua cara.

9 - Chuck Norris vendeu sua alma ao diabo para ter seu visual bacana e suas habilidades incomparáveis de artes marciais. Pouco tempo depois da transação terminar, Chuck Norris deu um roundhouse kick na cara do diabo e pegou sua alma de volta. O diabo, que aprecia ironia, não conseguiu ficar bravo e admitiu que deveria ter previsto isso. Eles agora jogam poker todas as segundas quartas-feiras de cada mês.

10 - Chuck Norris uma vez comeu 72 Kg de carne em uma hora. Ele passou os primeiros 45 minutos fazendo sexo com a garçonete.

11 - Quando Chuck Norris recebe os impostos, ele manda de volta folhas brancas com uma foto dele agachado, pronto para atacar. Chuck Norris não teve que pagar impostos nunca. Nunca!

12 - Chuck Norris era um dos personagens originais do jogo "Street Fighter II". Ele só foi removido porque todos os botões faziam ele dar um roundhouse kick. Quando perguntaram sobre essa falha do jogo, Chuck Norris respondeu: "Que falha do jogo?".

13 - Chuck Norris pediu um Big Mac no Bob's. Ele foi atendido.

14 - Uma vez Chuck Norris comeu um bolo inteiro antes que seus amigos pudessem lhe contar que havia uma stripper dentro.

15 - Wilt Chamberlein declarou já ter dormido com mais de 20.000 mulheres em toda sua vida. Chuck Norris chama isso de uma "terça-feira monótona".

16 - Quando Deus disse "Que se faça a luz!", Chuck Norris falou "Diga: - por favor".

17 - Uma vez Chuck Norris desceu a rua com uma ereção massiva. Não houve sobreviventes.

18 - Chuck Norris tem duas velocidades: Andar e Matar.

19 - Chuck Norris não lê livros, ele os encara até conseguir toda a informação que precisa.

20 - Chuck Norris joga roleta russa com uma arma inteiramente carregada, e ganha.

21 - Chuck Norris não tem um forno ou microondas, pois, como todo mundo sabe, "a vingança é um prato que se come frio".

22 - Algumas pessoas usam uniforme do Superman, mas ninguém se atreve a usar uniforme de Chuck Norris.

23 - Não existe queixo por trás da barba de Chuck Norris, apenas outro punho.

24 - Chuck Norris só dorme de luz acesa. Não, Chuck Norris não tem medo do escuro, mas a recíproca não é verdadeira.

25 - Certa vez Chuck Norris deu um roundhouse kick tão rápido que quebrou a velocidade da luz, voltou no tempo e atingiu um navio chamado Titanic.

Vejam mais em Chuck Norris

APPARENTLY, all of those things I keep hearing about Chuck Norris aren't true!! My world has been shattered. Penguin Press has published a book of Chuck Norris "facts" without his consent, and ole Chuck is suing them for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment, and privacy rights. Allegedly, Chuck Norris's tears don't cure cancer, he does sleep, and he can't charge a cell phone simply by rubbing it on his beard. Next they'll be telling me he can actually blend. I don't know why he's suing them when a swift roundhouse kick to the face would take care of them...

Now, it looks like after months of studying, Mike Huckabee has a campaign commercial out, ready to reveal all his knowledge about the internet's most popular person because nothing says "top candidate" like reciting Chuck Norris facts

I rate the video 4 out of 5 roundhouse kicks to the kidney.