I initially accepted that the TV show "Ugly Betty" didn't need quotation marks -- until I noticed that "Lipstick Jungle," with its incorrectly placed period, got the full quote treatment. Oversize is a word that doesn't sport a hyphen when spelled correctly. And AnnaLynne McCord likes her name spelled with one more capital letter.

I love fantastic-looking handbags and paragraphs that don't carry so much fantastic-looking grammatical baggage.

On a side note, did you know that there is no difference between these quotation marks "...." and these quotation marks '....' ?  The only rule is that you have to alternate their usage when quotations appear within other quotations.  The British prefer to use the single quotes (' '), while the American tradition is to use the doubles (" "). I always wondered if there were times when I was using them the wrong way for the situation.

Where will you and I stand?  With the starving or the overfed?  With poor Lazarus or the rich man?  Most of the rich countries are at least nominally Christian. What an ironic tragedy that an affluent, "Christian" minority in the world continues to hoard its wealth while hundreds of millions of people hover on the edge of starvation!

... In an age of affluence and poverty, most Christians, regardless of theological labels, are tempted to succumb to the heresy of following society's materialistic values rather than biblical truth.  Advertisements offer demonically convincing justifications for enjoying our affluence while neglecting billions of poor neighbors.

Imagine what one quarter of the world's Christians could do if they became truly generous.  A few of us could move... to desperately poor areas.  The rest of us could defy surrounding materialism.  We could refuse to let our affluent world squeeze us into its consumeristic mold.  Instead, we could become generous nonconformists who love Jesus more than wealth.  In obedience to our Lord, we could empower the poor through small loans, community development, and better societal systems.  And in the process, we would learn again His paradoxical truth that true happiness flows from generosity.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger

Quotation marks: they're used to enclose direct speech and quotations. In most programs, the keyboard will give you double primes, which are used to mark inches. Graphic design programs default to typographic or “curly” quotes. In Britain they are called inverted commas.

According to the Oxford Companion to the English Language, “Double marks are traditionally associated with American printing practice and single marks with British practice”

In the Renaissance, quotes were marked by italics, but typographers first cut quotation marks in the mid-16th century, and by the early 17th century quotation marks were common.

The French and Italian custom prefers guillemets. Quotes are opened with left-facing double guillemets, and closed with right-facing double guillemets (e.g. «I prefer primes,» said the typewriter repairman).

As with the apostrophe, many English speakers (especially sign painters) are befuddled by the the rules which govern the use of quotation marks.

Just remember, quotes are used for direct attribution, not for emphasis.

So, here’s the award and the rules:

1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link to the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs for an award.
4. Put links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs for the people you’ve nominated.

So, now it is my turn to nominate some of my favorites!!  It will be hard to pick only 7, but here goes!

1. The Lori Brown Blog

2. The Bloggess

3. MaggieDammit

4. Did I Ever Tell You About the Time

5. Apparently, Hell is on the Fourth Floor

6. The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

7. BSC Headquarters (Even though Tiff isn't active with this blog anymore, it is still freaking hysterical!!!)

Thanks for giving me something to read on a daily basis!!

I'm not sure if what's "real" is the ice cream or the soft serve, but I'm not taking any chances. Fried dough, anyone?

Hat tip to Moondog.

Dear potential I-70 drivers,
Are you dreading that long stretch of pavement from Kansas City to Denver?  Wondering how you’ll pass the 9 hours of absolute boredom?  Maybe you foresee the inevitable monotony that is the Midwest and prepare yourself accordingly, armed with books on tape read by sexy British men and CD compilations of obscure bands your carmates haven’t heard of and your 6-in-1 travel size magnetic game board with the impossible to handle tiny pieces.

Heed my warning: this will not be enough.  What, you ask, could lift the fog of dreariness?

Billboards.  Beautifully crafted billboards for your entertainment.

And here are a few that helped us laugh our way through Dullsville, Kansas.

Question Mark Catastrophe
Country Club Drive Motel in Colby, KS
“NICE” with a Christian fish underneath it
This punctuation/vague-adjective calamity is not limited to a billboard.  Check out the website for proof of how “NICE” it really is.

Beware of Bucking Sheep
Hand painted sign for church event that said "Fall Festival—Mutton bustin too!"
And how exactly does one bust a mutton?  Cue Wikipedia...
1.    Catch a sheep and hold it firmly
2.    Place a child on top in a riding position
3.    Let go of the sheep
4.    Watch sheep attempt to get the child off
5.    Award a ribbon/prize to the child who can stay on the longest
I don’t even want to know how much therapy they’ll need when they’re older.  And the children, too.

For the Humble Crafter
Second Friendliest Yarn Store in the Universe in Salina, KS
Yeah, that’s pretty much what the billboard says.  You might want to know where the Universe’s FIRST friendliest yarn store is.  That’s a good question.  But I think we should really be focusing on what the people of Salina are doing to make their store the #1 friendliest.  We shouldn’t rest until I-70 can lawfully claim the title of Friendliest Yarn Store in the Universe.  The people of Kansas deserve that much.

Two Very Different Birds with One Messed Up Stone
Wyldewood Cellars in Topeka, KS sign reads "Gas!  Free wine tasting!"
Of course!  Who isn’t pumping their gas and craving a little sip of wine?  I’m sure their employees are trained to recommend just the right wine to complement their fine selection of Little Debbies, Cheez-its, and moldy breakfast sandwiches.

You Can’t Miss It...Literally
World's Largest Prairie Dog in Oakley, KS
The signs start 50 miles out and broadcast the many attractions every 10 miles.  It’s not just the world’s largest prairie dog! They also boast the following animals: a 5-legged steer, rattlesnake, baby pigs, buffalo, pheasants, quail, raccoons, coyotes, badgers, skunks, peacocks, and a fox (singular).  So, I don’t think there’s anything I can add to this, except to strongly encourage everyone to visit this site which has a picture of it from space.

You probably won’t see any of these listed in your Official Tourist’s Guide to the Land of Flat.  So mark them on your map and make them a part of your next I-70 adventure.

You won’t regret it,
A

CHURCH, NEW: Visiting a new church is many times refreshing, sometimes a little scary, possibly a mistake, but always eye-opening.  And this summer for the first time in a long time I went to a new church.

Dear LifeChurch,
Thank you for having comfortable chairs.
Thank you for having two Saturday night services.
Thank you for singing songs I’ve never heard.
Thank you for playing music so loud that I didn’t have to hear my own voice or that of the person next to me.
Thank you for not calling it a bulletin.
Thank you for making it really dark.
Thank you for having a very sociable lobby.  If I were to choose to be sociable.
Thank you for not trying to be relevant, but for just being.
Thank you for telling me what your church is doing around the world with the money people put in the bucket.
Thank you for allowing food and drink during the message.
Thank you for having a very accessible website with downloadable sermons.

But most of all, thank you for not knowing my name and not caring about what I was wearing and not asking me about my trip to Africa and not assuming you have me all figured out and not expecting me to be someone who I’m not.

That’s why I come back.  Don’t tell my home church.  They, too, have comfortable chairs.  And I love them to death!  Not the chairs, the people, the church.  They’re amazing!  But they know who I am.  And they still call me the missionary.  And that’s ok for now.  But I need something else.

I’ll continue to worship at you both.  Because even a born-and-raised-Southern-Baptist-African-missionary-daughter-of-a-pastor needs a place where she feels at home and everyone knows her name....and a place where she can just be someone in a comfy chair loudly singing songs and drinking McAlister’s tea purchased from the lobby.

Basically, Thanks,
A

I've been troubled by unnecessary quotation marks for a long time (in addition to misplaced apostrophes, excessive exclamation points, and many other egregious offenses), so this website speaks to the cranky, misanthropic, snobby English grad student side of me. 

ANYway, a few weeks ago, Jim and I were at this local bar for the first time, and I noticed a lot of "material" that I could send to the aforementioned site.

I'm just posting it here, though, instead; I'm wildly impatient, what can I say?

Two punctuation marks never appear before a closing quotation mark: a colon and a semicolon.

Take this single paragraph, which manages to omit the hyphen in brand-new, misplace a period (it belongs before the closing quotation mark), mangle a sentence by either omitting words or using too many (I'm not sure which), and using advise when the correct word is advice.

Even more egregious is misspelling Mary-Louise Parker and Mary McCormack in the paragraph that follows:

And after the first sentence, it seems that the writer just gave up trying to write complete sentences, correctly punctuated. And I gave up, too. There was just too much wrong with this to enumerate it all. The writer and editor's grasp of correct English is hanging by a thread.

If you look at your keyboard you'll see that there's only one key, just to the left of your return key, for an apostrophe or a double quotation mark. And that's because the early typewriter fonts used straight marks, not curly ones, as shown in the illustration to the right. The curly marks were the domain of professional typesetters at printing companies.

Then came the computer and soon everyone had the power to use the curly marks all the time-- the computer takes care of the curl, placing the correct quotation marks at the front and back of the phrase, or inserting the correct apostrophe symbol. The computer handles this by making the leading mark (the left-double or left-single) swoop down to the right, and the following mark (the right-double or right-single) ease down to the left. Trouble is, the computer can't think for you and typography can't always be reduced to computer-recognizable rules.

It's August, and there are a lot of ads for cars or furniture that use the contractions of "until" or "2009." And the designers get it wrong. They let the computer decide what the apostrophe is supposed to look like. Maybe they're in a hurry, or maybe they never learned the correct use of the apostrophe, or maybe they just think that everyone else is doing it, so it must be okay. The best way I know to remember the correct placement of the curly apostrophe is that it's supposed to be "looking at" the part that's missing. The "un" is missing in 'til, and the "2o" is missing in ’09.

FIX THIS-- there's usually a simple way to fix it. You can type un'til and go back and take off the "un." This is a work-around that fools the computer into giving you the correct mark. If you're a professional, using software such as InDesign, you are better off inserting the proper code because that will be sure to keep the correct mark no matter which printer or computer is used. [To do this in InDesign, do: TYPE > INSERT SPECIAL CHARACTER > QUOTATION MARKS > SINGLE RIGHT QUOTATION MARK.]

This can be harder when numbers are involved, depending on the font and the software used. I had a lot of trouble doing the ’09 above, and ended up doing it with InDesign, then copy/pasted it into Wordpress. If you know HTML well enough, you can insert the code yourself. If nothing seems to work for you, then just spell out "until" and "2009" and you won't go wrong.

I was reading the Economist today and observed that they placed several periods outside of the comma...and some inside...

What they do:

• If the quote is a complete sentence (thought) they place the period inside the quotation marks.  e.g..."Georgetown is a wonderful school."
• If the quote is the title of a book or play the period is placed outside the quotation marks.  e.g... For relaxation, they can listen to the world’s academic authorities disputing the pronunciation of Homer and illuminating the knotty wordplay of Plato’s “Republic”.
• If the quote is a phrase/words use to characterize a thought, the Economist places the period outside the quotations.  e.g...When asked about Georgetown University, Majorman, expressed it was "wonderful".

I've cross referenced my findings with the New York Times.  It seems the NYT always places the period inside the quotation marks for complete & partial sentences (how I remember being taught in school).   Grammarbook.com agrees with me.

FYI:  The Economist is a London-based publication.  Wikipedia explains the American style and British style here.

So are the rules of English set in stone or is our language evolving?  Who's right?  Who's wrong?

John Micklethwait is Editor-in-chief of the Economist

Well, you know what they say, "when in Rome".  *snickering*

The real question is, what sort of a cross would today's system be intent on using to kill him?"

How might N.T. Wright's refusal to separate the transformative work of God's kingdom and the way of the cross inform our discussion on the relationship between Christ and culture?

Look B, I'm helping with your feature.  Today we have Blog of Unnecesssssssary Quotation Marks

"Unnecessary Quotation Mark Usage", originally uploaded by William WM.

Will they really tow my car?

Pope Pius XII was meant to go and castigate Hitler for being a [indicates air quotes] "Genocidal Fuckhead . . . " [Pause. Contemplates. Air quotes again.] "with bunny rabbit ears". But he didn't, he wimped out, and since then History has renamed Pius XII as "Pope Gutless Bastard I."

Now this is funny for several reasons.

1. Air quotes do, in fact, look like bunny rabbit ears.
2. Anyone who refers to Hitler as a genocidal fuckhead is in my book of Awesome.
3. He is still using his air quotes CORRECTLY.

Oh, no, wait. The last one isn't funny. It's that THING that's been PISSING ME OFF.

I've been seeing a lot of this around town.

Suki's Hot Dogs - "100% Beef"

Jimbo's Electronics - The "Best" in the Business

Schmancy McSchmancy's Restaurant - Our pork chop is gently braised with a white wine sauce and is "naturally organic."

Do any of those look sarcastic to you?

They should, and there is a reason they look sarcastic. You do not EMPHASIZE something by giving it quotation marks. You actually de-emphasize it, by indicating that the thing you are bunny-rabbit-earing is not what you really mean. And if the pork chop is not really "naturally organic," then I want to know what the hell it REALLY is. The quotation marks in that context make it seem all cloaked in mystery. Like it has a secret name.

I cannot tell you my real name, but you can call me "John." Or "naturally organic." I suggest John. It's shorter.

Watch what happens when you read this sentence:

I think Paris Hilton is a "nice person."

See? See how none of you believed me? DE-emphasis. I'm not saying she's a super-nice-person by using quotation marks, I'm saying I don't really think she's a nice person, but I'm too polite to call her a waste of space.

I'm actually not too polite to say that at all, but I can't be bothered.

Dialogue

Quotation marks around dialogue are fine. They neither emphasize nor de-emphasize, they just indicate dialogue. It is a great and noble purpose, and for it we salute the quotation marks. Quotation marks allow me to do this: "They say you should never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious."

See? Everyone knew that wasn't me talking. Why? Because I put it in quotation marks. I wish it was me talking, I really do. I wish I had dialogue that cool. I don't. Captain Malcolm Reynolds does, the bastard. And by "bastard," I mean "dreamboat."

Those are the three things quotation marks are good for. Again, they are:

1. Actually QUOTING someone
2. Indicating that whatever is in quotations is not REALLY what you want to say.
3. Bunny rabbit ears. And by "bunny rabbit ears" I mean, "being sardonic, sarcastic, or otherwise alliteratively snarky."

That is IT. No exceptions. Actual quote, or one of two humor factors. They are not to be substituted for other emphasizing marks such as italics, boldfacing, or underlining. Do you see quotation marks in Microsoft Word up there with B, I, and U tabs? NO, you don't, DO YOU? That is because THEY DO DIFFERENT SHIT.

This is beginning to make me angry simply because I write for a living and it makes me unhappy to see someone's hard-worked copy reduced to an unintentional form of sarcasm against their company. Apparently, there's a whole BLOG devoted to this, over at The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotations. I did not know this, or I would not have bothered with this post. I would have just pointed you over there and waited until your screams made my point for me.

I give you an example from my own life. Here's a tagline I'm thinking of for my company. Feedback is appreciated. I promise only to cry a little bit. But here's how it would it appear on the website:

Good Ink: Saving good people from bad copy.

Fine, right? Say it's fine. Say it's awesome. Be nice to me, I have pinkeye. But what if I wrote it like this:

Good Ink: Saving "good people" from "bad copy."

Confusing, no? Are they not really good people? Is it not really bad copy? Are those things euphemisms for other things? When she says "good people" does she really mean "genocidal fuckhead"?

DO NOT MALIGN YOUR QUOTATION MARKS. THEY ARE THERE FOR GOOD PURPOSES. LIKE SARCASM AND QUOTING EDDIE IZZARD. THEY ARE NOT THERE FOR EMPHASIS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION REGARDING THIS MATTER.

::sigh:: Okay. It's all okay. I have done my duty. Now I can sleep.

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."

See how you knew it wasn't me? THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR.

Okay. Seriously. Good night.

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