Com direção de Guilhermo del Toro, mesmo diretor de Labirinto do Fauno e O Orfanato, Hellboy 2 – O Exército Dourado certamente superou o primeiro filme da série.

Só para lembra, o primeiro filme apostou na transformação de Hellboy no herói que ele não é, já que ele é um demônio e não um super-herói tradicional.

Nessa segunda produção, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) e sua equipe da secreta Agência de Pesquisa e Defesa Paranormais não poupam esforços para defender o bem.

Depois que uma antiga trégua entre a humanidade e o domínio fantástico dos invisíveis é quabrada, o inferno ameaça tomar conta da Terra novamente. O impiedoso príncipe Nuanda (Luke Goss), cansado de se curvar para os humanos, ameça o mundo tramando despertar um exército de máquinas assassinas que tomará de volta o que pertencia a seu povo.

É ai que Hellboy e seus companheiros entram em ação. Ao lado de sua namorada Pyrokinetica Liz (Selma Blair), o telepata aquático Abe (Doug Jones) e o ectoplasmático Johann Krauss (voz de Seth McFarlane), Hellboy tem a difícil missão de impedir o sombrio príncipe e salvar o mundo de sua destruição.

Vale a pena conferir o trabalho de Guilherme Del Toro. O cineasta trabalha até nos pequenos detalhes, todo design do filme é dele e se parece muito com o filme O Labirinto do Fauno. Hellyboy 2 – O Exército Dourado custou US$ 66 milhões e faturou US$ 100 milhões em cinemas do mundo todo.

Título Original: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Elenco: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, John Alexander, James Dodd, Seth MacFarlane, Luke Goss, Anna Walton
Duração: 120 minutos
Gênero: Aventura
País: EUA
Ano: 2008
Diretor: Guilhermo del Toro
Roterista: Guilermo del Toro

Para assistir o trailer do filme clique aqui

“Cigar. Cuban. Now you pissed me off!” says the protagonist of Guillermo Del Toro’s latest venture Hellboy II: The Golden Army as the baddie’s sidekick Wink, yields a blow to his face, making his favorite tool fall into water. With a face that looks like a cross of a samurai and X-Men mutant beast, Hellboy (Codename Hellboy) is a character right out of the pulp magazines.  And with a name like that and a storyline that aids the use of eye-candy incredibly, the producers would always rest assured. Plus one to the count of superhero films in 2008.

So we have here this bunch of four central ultra-cool mutants – The cigar chewing, beer boozing, borderline-colonel Hellboy (Ron Perlman), the earth element, The timid and brainy Abe (Doug Jones), the  water ingredient, the intensely anxious Liz (Selma Blair), the fire girl and Johann Krauss (James Dodd) the German intellectual forming the wind element of the group bound by (the absence of) the fifth element. All hell breaks loose when the exiled Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) of the mythical world decides to call it quits with the truce with the humans that called for peace and aided the banishment of their indestructible “Golden Army”. The film’s best moment, perhaps, comes around this point where we see the mythical prince practicing his sword in a fairly mythical milieu and just as he finishes, a high speed train whizzes past behind him! One feels that he is in for a great time. NO.

But for this, the prince has to unite the three pieces of the all-powerful golden crown that controls the army and hence break his bonds with his family that preserves two of the pieces. Meanwhile, Hellboy and Liz are trying to reconcile with the discerning eyes of the human world and form a happy little familial world for themselves. And when their paths cross, it’s the same thing all over again. Villain hurts hero, hero gets back big time. All this happens on a high-speed, immensely attractive vehicle called Computer Graphics that seems to never tire the audience. Year after year, be what the form, this boon (?) given by science has been regularly and faithfully exploited.

It is clear that Del Toro has the uncanny ability to blend elements of the ever enchanting world beyond the natural - the mythical – with the harsh realities of the existential one. But where Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) scored was in its treatment of the two worlds. Those worlds never saw each other, those worlds were never affected the clockwork of each other, those worlds were bliss. Here, Del Toro has let one world loose into another, arguably corrupting not only the integrity of the worlds but also of the plot itself. The Golden Army hence becomes no better than a CG-driven superhero flick that succumbs to market demand.

Of course, the film has its own charming moments where you tend to forget all the stereotype moments so far. Consider the scene where Hellboy and Abe retire in the library after a hard day’s work. They listen to “Popular Love Songs”, sipping loads and loads of beer, singing along unabashedly and cruising into a hilariously contemplative mood. One does forget that these guys aren’t humans and smiles all the way. Additionally, Hellboy is amusing with all his one liners and his thinking-with-his-knuckles attitude. But that’s just about everything that you take back from the two hours of runtime. Like Iron Man (2008), The Golden Army also seems to rely too much on these things.

Clichés galore, The Golden Army seems like an exercise in typical Hollywood film craft. The cool and funny gang of superheroes, check. The megalomaniac baddie who turns out to be the boss, check. A thin thread of romance between the good side and the bad one, check. Sacrifice of a lesser but lovable character for the greater good, check. CG flood, manipulative score, tilted camera angles, check, check and check. Once can go on and on, but somebody’s got to do the job. Every year, there seem to come a few films that offer what the audience wants but are so easy to be smashed. But if not for them, we would not be appreciating better ones, would we?

Verdict:

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HELLBOY II - THE GOLDEN ARMY (Estados Unidos, Acción, 120 Minutos)
Dirección:

Valoración: 5/10

Resumen: Tras siglos de tregua, el príncipe Nuada ha vuelto dispuesto a declarar la guerra a la humanidad. Para ello, y pese a la oposición de su padre y su hermana, el heredero al trono del submundo está dispuesto a liberar a una terrible arma conocida como el ejército dorado, una legión invencible que amenaza con destruir la civilización humana. Lo único que se interpone en el camino de Nuada es Hellboy, un demonio criado entre los humanos, y sus compañeros del ultrasecreto AIDP.

Crítica: Que Guillermo Del Toro no se toma Hellboy muy en serio ya nos quedó claro en el anterior filme del demonio rojo. Y tal vez un visionario como el azteca tenga sus razones para no dar demasiada profundidad a un héroe con cola, cuernos y rostro imposible. ¿Cómo hacer pasar a un ser con esa pinta por un devoto salvador, ante un público acostumbrado a la perfección fotogénica? Tal vez por eso Del Toro, fan confeso del tebeo, haya preferido intentar convertir la franquicia en un auténtico blockbuster en lugar de en una fiel adaptación de la visión de Mike Mignola -para más señas, también parte importante de esta producción-. Del Toro ha lanzado lastre y se ha quedado con lo esencial, los ingredientes básicos que le garanticen un sitio en taquilla y un espacio en las mentes del gran público. El misterio y lo esotérico, dan paso a la acción y la aventura, el peso de la predestinación a una serie de problemas familiares (muy de moda en el cine de aventuras), los vacíos escénicos marca de la casa Mignola a un brillante barroquismo -marca de la casa Del Toro, que vuelve a demostrar que es un artesano de los de la vieja escuela- en la confección de personajes y escenarios... El tono cambia radicalmente y abandona las lúgubres leyendas y los augurios apocalípticos, por una trama más sencilla en la que Del Toro puede sentar las bases de su plan: reírse de sí mismo, de sus personajes e incluso de la propia trama principal, pasada casi a un segundo plano por los devaneos románticos y familiares de sus monstruitos. Hellboy es en su versión cinematográfica más carismático, pero también más artificial y cargante. Es un monstruo -se puede usar si se quiere la palabra freak-, rodeado de incompresión más allá de la banda de inadaptados con la que convive. La autoparodia es la mejor definición para un personaje que rompe absolutamente con la concepción clásica del superhéroe, pero que a pesar de ello sigue pareciendo en algunos momentos tan encorsetado como algunos de sus compañeros de género. Hellboy 2 es el modelo a seguir si se quiere hacer un divertidísimo taquillazo familiar... y que se note.

Mamma Mia was good.  I didn't think it was that spectacular as it was going along, but I couldn't help but notice my left foot tapping to the beat, my lips mouthing the lyrics and the odd tear of happiness in my eye.

Meryl Streep was fantastic, throwing all her weight and soul into the performance.  The fun just oozed from the screen, not processed, scripted fun, but the obvious passion and enjoyment of the cast.

But the clincher for me was that I actually quite liked Pierce Brosnan.  All through his James Bond days I've stayed as far away from the man as possible.  I took into consideration that, when playing James Bond, he was portraying a womanising male chauvinist, and that this was most likely why he irritated me so much. But then along came Daniel Craig, and the James Bond movies became entertaining again, and against all the odds, I'm actually looking forward to Quantum of Solace later this year.

Walking into the cinema to see Mamma Mia, I cringed knowing that Pierce Brosnan would be in it.  But despite all my pre-conceived ideas, he was actually very good.  He's not a fantastic singer, but neither am I, and I respect his throwing so much into the movie.  A brave step after playing the world famous super spy extraordinaire!

Hellboy II on the other hand...

I have never regretted spending money on a movie trip before, and likewise I have never contemplated walking out of a cinema mid performance.  But Hellboy II is a movie that inspires both regret and a swift escape!

It follows the ill thought out exploits of some "superheroes", the main player having apparently been released from Hell itself, hence the name. He's big, chunky, ugly and red, with a giant papier-mâché toilet roll on his arm, for some unknown reason.  The most imaginative names the writers could give this big red monster were.... you guessed it.... Red and Hellboy.

The film attempts to be a humorous romp through a world of fantasy and fairy tales, but leaves your skin creeping at their attempts at humour and what can loosely be described as romance.

Its one saving grace was the fancy, martial arts footwork of the Elf Prince, played by Luke Goss, which was quite breath taking in places, and was the one element of the movie that inclined me to remain in my seat.

As they sang in Mamma Mia..."Honey, Honey, he nearly kills me!"

Hellboy (Perlman) and his assorted band of freaks – including firestarter girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair) and man/fish Abe (Doug Jones), are still fighting paranormal monsters here on Earth but their actions are meant to be top secret. Which annoys the hell out of the showboating Hellboy who believes he should be getting the credit for all the bad guys he’s beating, so against orders he makes sure the press get a good glimpse of his mug. Instant notoriety follows, but there’s one bad guy Hellboy hasn’t reckoned on and that’s Prince Nuada (Goss in spooky make-up and Matrix leather coat). Nuada plans to resurrect the fabled Golden Army and crush all of mankind, so now everyone is counting on Big Red while he’s facing a seemingly indestructible enemy.

Director/writer Guillermo Del Toro has taken the Lord of the Rings route here with an epic mythological story of evil tooth fairies, elfish beings and monsters, and set piece battles and underground locations of awesome magnitude and imagination. There’s a really nice spiteful edge to everything but not enough of the great humour that made the first Hellboy movie stand out. That said one scene where Hellboy and Abe Sapien get drunk together while talking about women troubles and listening to Barry Manilow’s Can’t Smile Without You is bound to go down as something of a classic. However, this is nowhere near as deep, disturbing or profound as Pan’s Labyrinth, but it will certainly amuse during this washout of a summer.       Dee Pilgrim

Direção: Guillermo del Toro

Roteiro: Guillermo del Toro, Mike Mignola

Elenco: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Luke Goss, Anna Walton, John Hurt, Roy Dotrice

Embalado na onda de filme de super-heróis, a nova sequência de Hellboy tem como grande aliado não só a "moda" hollywoodiana, mas sim o diretor/produtor/roterista Guillermo Del Toro, que tem um talento incrível quando o assunto é a fantasia. Alguns elementos de "Hellboy II" são muito semelhantes aos de "O Labirinto do Fauno", principalmente o reino fantástico e seus personagens. Outro ponto positivo foi a manutenção do elenco principal com Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones e a participação em flashbacks de John Hurt.

Nessa sequência, a humanidade corre perigo quando o principe Nuada (Luke Goss) pretende colocar fim a trégua realizada por seu pai, o rei Balor (Roy Dotrice), e despertar o Exército Dourado. Para por seus planos em ação, Nuada precisa juntar as três partes da antiga coroa do pai e mesmo com os pedidos do rei, Nuada segue com seu objetivo e mata o próprio pai para pegar uma das partes da coroa. A última peça restante está com sua irmã, a princesa Nuala (Anna Walton), que ao presenciar a fúria do irmão, foge para o mercado dos trolls, lugar que no mesmo instante estão Hellboy (Ron Perlman) e a equipe do Bureau de Pesquisa e Defesa Paranormal. Eles estão investigando o primeiro ataque de Nuada, que resultou no roubo de uma outra parte da coroa. Quem reconhece a princesa é Abe (Doug Jones), que começa a segui-lá até ser confrontado por ela. Feitas as apresentações, um monstro de Nuada aparece para capturar a princesa, mas Hellboy senta a porrada no bicho.

Nuada surge com um novo monstro, dessa vez um treco monstruoso que apesar do estrago que faz, morre com dois tiros dados por Hellboy. Mesmo salvando a população, Hellboy e sua equipe começam a ser mal vistos, o que gera duvidas na cabeça do demônio. Refugiados no Bureau, Hellboy além falta de motivação e dos problemas pessoais com Liz (Selma Blair), busca refugio junto com Abe em latas de cerveja. A sequência dos dois juntos bebendo e cantando uma música de amor é hilária, aliás o filme tem muitas cenas engraçadas.

Após a bebedeira, o principe Nuada aparece mais uma vez, só que desta vez leva a melhor e fere mortalmente o Hellboy. A única chance de salvá-lo é levá-lo até Nuada, que fugiu para a Irlanda do Norte para despertar o Exército Dourado. Lá, Hellboy será salvo e vai enfrentar o principe e tentar impedí-lo de destruir a humanidade.

Mais uma vez é citado o verdadeiro destino do Hellboy na Terra, que é de ser o responsável pela destruição da humanidade. "Hellboy II: O Exército Dourado" é um bom filme, presta.

Alright, I will be honest, I only watched this because I am a huge fan of how director Guillermo del Toro brings such great imagination and colour to his work. While I do not have a clock counting down to the release of the first of his two Hobbit films, I am giving the matter some serious thought. Before that, let us enjoy a brief rampage through what this film is about.

The titular character is a short-tempered, horn-shorn demon (the 58-year old Ron Perlman) that lives amongst humans and who wishes to be liked by all and sundry. He is incredibly strong, tough, and agile, with a taste in handguns that would make even a NRA card-carrying right-to-bear-arms evangelist blush. Moreover, he feels like a Ted Danson-inspired character with the whole cigar-smoking, quick-quipping, boy-in-a-man’s-body routine.

This second installment of the series begins with the violent ending of an ancient truce between mankind and the entire cast of extras from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Quite why Peter Jackson could not have kept this assortment of elves, trolls, tree creatures, tooth fairies, and tumours happy by simply paying them hourly union rates is never really explained in the film.

Anyway, the prince of the elf kingdom (Luke Goss) is feeling particularly bolshie about it. Indeed, in order to get a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work, he is prepared to summon forth a sleeping army of golden clockwork machines, who are unstoppable and indestructible once released. You may not be surprised to learn that it is the mission of Hellboy and his chums, working on behalf of the debauched and capitalist United States government, to prevent this mechanical rabble from ever bothering the bourgeoisie.

In terms of subplot, we are talking woman problems (the second of those two words seems redundant – Ed.). Hellboy’s missus (Selma Blair) typically takes offence at having to live in a smelly, cramped, untidy room with him. Correctly, Hellboy is left confused by this. I mean, what part of diabolical entity did she not get when they first got together? Meanwhile, the audience finds itself appalled, yet anatomically curious, at the signs of a fledgling relationship emerging between a mutant fishman (Doug Jones) and the twin sister of the elf prince (Matt Goss – just kidding – Anna Walton).

The film is stolen though by a cloud of smoke in a rubber suit. These curious vapours are hilariously voiced by Seth MacFarlane (of Family Guy fame) to be like what a stereotype squared of a prim and proper German should sound like. This is worth the admission money alone.

Ultimately, though, it is for the fantastical creations and set piece scenes devised by del Toro and his team that this film will be remembered. In particular, there is a visit to a troll market under Brooklyn Bridge where creatures of every shape and size engage in acts of commerce. The scene is so lush with detail that one viewing of it could never do it justice. There is also the dramatic visual impact of the attack of the tooth fairies (which is guaranteed to save parents money in the future) and the mighty final confrontation, which takes place in an enormous cavern below The Giant’s Causeway in Antrim.

The action is thrillingly slick and agile, with a fine meshing together of CGI with physical acting. The fight moves of the elf prince, in particular, stand out, as he spins, pivots, cartwheels, twists, and leaps about. Equally, there is the always joyous showdown between two bruising heavyweights, as they send each other flying through the air with meaty thumps of engorged right hands.

The film may well have the plot sophistication of the Incredible Hulk writing poetry and the character development that a self-improvement course taught by Rambo would yield, yet there is equally the quirky humour here of The Fifth Element, the vision of a half-dozen fantastical adventure films rolled into one, and the on-screen dramatics of Ghostbusters meets The Matrix. Where del Toro excels, though, is in fusing all of these aspects into one cohesive work that seems greater than the sum of its parts.

In short, a bunkum film made brilliant by imagination.

My god I have been so looking forward to this.  As probably the biggest fan of Guilermo Del Toro that I personally know (which is not saying much) and having adored Pan's Labyrinth, Blade 2 and especially Hellboy - this was just begging to be seen. 

When a mythical world starts a rebellion with the human world, threatening to destroy all mankind, it's up to Hellboy and his band of misfits to stop crazed Elf Prince Nuada from raising the infamous Golden Army.  This full-on sequel to Del Toro's stylish and very different comic book blockbuster throws in love stories, the desire to be excepted, crazy demonic creatures, tons of highly stylised action and plenty of dry humour - everything the first film was, turned up to eleven!

Ron Perlman's Big Red of course steals the show and is on fine wise cracking, iconic form and is probably the most likable screen hero I think I've ever had the joy to watch...add to this the brilliant turns by a very much expanded Liz Sherman (a magnetic and sexy Selma Blair) as well as the excellent Abe Sapian (Doug Jones) whose given his own love story this time around, and this unlikely bunch of heroes make for a more comppelling cast than anything you will find in the X-Men movies.  Also this time the team are joined by a Russian scientist who is basically a heap of gas in a special suit, voiced by Family Guy's Seth McFarlane with superb, laugh-out-loud results.  Did I also say this film is really funny?  There's some priceless moments of slapstick and dry humour - but thankfully the movie also knows when to get serious with some eye-melting action and stunning fight choreography, made all the better by superb production design and state of the art creature effects.

Now apart from an opening explanation of the history of the Golden Army - little light is shed on the evil Prince's desire to cause such chaos and why he chooses this moment in time to kick off, but that's small potato's, especially when the villain is played so well by Luke Goss mirroring his exceptional turn in Del Toro's Blade 2.  There is also so much going on here it would be a terrible disservice to point out plot holes - and believe me you will be having way to much fun to analyse.  So sit back and enjoy the best movie so far this year.

Verdict:  5 /5

Estreia finalmente nos cinemas de Portugal a muito aguardada sequela de Hellboy, assim como (mais) uma comédia satírica - Superhero Movie - Um Estrondo de Filme! e um novo filme produzido em Portugal, Aquele Querido Mês de Agosto.

Hellboy II - O Exército Dourado

Nesta sequela, o investigador do paranormal Hellboy (Ron Perlman) vai-se ver confrontado com uma recém-adquirida notoriedade, e uma invasão liderada pelo Príncipe Elfo Nuada (Luke Goss) que está a tentar controlar o místico e invencível Exército Dourado, afim de dominar a Terra. Ao mesmo tempo, Johann Krauss, o novo chefe da BRPD, a organização de combate ao paranormal para que trabalha o nosso herói, vai criar uma relação de antagonismo e rivalidade com o Demônio Vermelho…

Guillermo Del Toro é um dos realizadores mais talentosos e generosos em actividade. Dotado de uma enorme imaginação visual e de um conhecimento enciclopédico da gramática cinematográfica (os seus apaixonantes comentários para DVD são autênticas master classes), este cineasta mexicano começou a receber o reconhecimento que lhe era devido com o sucesso do magnífico “O Labirinto do Fauno“, que recebeu 3 Óscares em 2007. Este facto acabou por ser decisivo para a viablidade da franchise baseada no comic book escrito e desenhado por Mike Mignola, e iniciada em 2004 com a estreia do primeiro filme.

Del Toro foi o responsável por trazer este personagem ao grande ecran, no que era um dos seus projectos de sonho. “Hellboy” conheceu uma carreira comercial e crítica mitigada, mas conseguiu, apesar de tudo, alcançar a barreira dos 100 milhões de dólares em bilheteiras internacionais, já para não mencionar as vendas em DVD e os direitos de transmissão televisiva. A rentabilidade deste empreendimento não foi, no entanto, suficiente para evitar o fim da produtora Revolution Pictures, o que colocou o futuro do Demônio Vermelho num limbo.

O cineasta mexicano não desarmou e continuou a tentar encontrar uma nova casa para a sequela, que acabou por ser a “gigante” Universal, convencida e impressionada pelo talento do realizador e pelo êxito do “O Labirinto do Fauno“. Armado de um orçamento generoso e de carta branca criativa, Del Toro trabalhou arduamente no argumento e conceitos que ele considerou serem os mais adequados para ampliar o universo pulp de Hellboy, colocando a personagem num contexto de dark fantasy, do qual já demonstrou possuir um enorme domínio.

Um exemplo disso é a forma que ele encontrou para abordar as figuras dos Elfos e Fadas, tradicionalmente encaradas como benignas e inofensivas. Del Toro mergulhou na mitologia Celta para trazer à luz do dia uma nova imagem desses ícones, mais perversa e perigosa, mas também fiel à sua origem histórica, e que credibiliza o seu potencial dramático e as suas motivações na história.

Esta sequela terá mais acção, mais criaturas e uma história mais fluída, agora que as personagens já foram devidamente introduzidas no primeira película. Prevêm-se batalhas contra uma gigantesca Árvore Elemental na ponte de Brooklyn, um dragão à solta em Moscovo, espíritos Yokai em Tóquio, e tudo isto antes sequer do herói titular visitar o Submundo dominado pelos Elfos.

A maior parte do elenco mantém-se, o que também confere uma homogeniedade aos dois trabalhos, já para não dizer que dificilmente se encontraria um melhor intérprete que Ron Perlman para Hellboy. As filmagens estenderam-se por um período de seis meses com exaustivos dias de dezoito horas de trabalho, necessários para satisfazer a atenção ao detalhe do exigente realizador, que só desta forma consegue assegurar uma credibilidade notável na concretização de um mundo fantástico.

Estão, assim, criadas as condições para um bom blockbuster de acção e aventura, com um realizador e argumentista de talento ao leme, um elenco e equipa técnica motivados e uma produtora genuinamente investida no projecto. Tanto que já se fala até num hipotético terceiro episódio que oporia Hellboy aos monstros clássicos da Universal como Dracula e Frankenstein. Uma perspectiva muito interessante, mas ainda só especulativa. Certezas, para já, só a de Del Toro não desejar prolongar a série para além do terceiro opus. A ver vamos…

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Escrito por Pedro Pacheco

Superhero Movie -  Um Estrondo de Filme!

Dos produtores de “Scary Movie - Um Susto de Filme” e “Aonde é que Pára a Polícia?” chega-nos agora uma paródia aos filmes de super-heróis, intitulada (obviamente) “Superhero Movie“.

Como não podia deixar de ser neste tipo de filmes a história é bastante simples e inspirada noutras produções de sucesso (leia-se Homem Aranha): O estudante Rick Riker (Drake Bell) é picado por uma libélula geneticamente modificada e ganha poderes sobre-humanos, como uma força incrível e pele à prova de bala.

O jovem decide usar os seus novos poderes para fazer o bem torna-se num guerreiro contra o crime conhecido como “Libélula” (Dragonfly). No entanto, no seu caminho irá encontrar um vilão de serviço chamado Lou Landers.

Depois que uma experiência mal sucedida, Lou ganha o poder de roubar a força de viver a um ser humano e, numa vil busca pela imortalidade, torna-se no supervilão “Ampulheta”.

Com uma força inimaginável, velocidade inacreditável e um uniforme profundamente desconfortável, poderá o Libélula parar as areias do Ampulheta e salvar o mundo?

Homem Aranha, Batman, Super-Homem, Quarteto Fantástico e X-Men são alguns dos filmes parodiados em Superhero Movie. No elenco encontramos alguns actores habituais neste tipo de produção, como Leslie Nielsen, Regina Hall ou Pamela Anderson, que participou em Scary Movie 3.

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Escrito por Nuno Santos

Aquele Querido Mês de Agosto

Ficção invadida pelo documentário, seria a história de um pai, a filha e o primo dela, músicos de uma banda de música popular a tocar pelas aldeias do Portugal profundo, em que imigrantes regressados à terra se cruzam com populares, entre festa e baile, cerveja, jogos e caçadas, durante o quente mês de Agosto. Seria a história e não é, porque realizador e equipa técnica irrompem pelo filme dentro, em vez de irem directamente ao assunto, e se misturam com actores não profissionais, entre os quais Sónia Bandeira e Fábio Oliveira. O filme conta ainda com a participação de Luís Marante, cantor do Agrupamento Musical Diapasão. "Aquele Querido Mês de Agosto" é a segunda longa-metragem de Miguel Gomes, depois de "A Cara Que Mereces" e várias curtas-metragens. O realizador justifica assim a entrada no documentário na ficção: "Documentário? Ficção? A meio deste filme vemos uma ponte: a ponte romana de Coja sobre o rio Alva, da qual se atira Paulo ''Moleiro''. Sem querer parecer Confúcio, diria que de qualquer uma das margens que esta ponte une se avista perfeitamente a outra. E que o rio é sempre o mesmo". (Sinopse CineCartaz Público)

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Director: Guillermo del Toro

Writer(s):Guillermo del Toro (screenplay)(story), Mike Mignola (story)(comic book)

Release Date: July 11, 2008

Genre: Action | Adventure | Comedy

Plot: The mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth, so as Hellboy and his team returns they must save the world from the rebellious creatures. Now, as the creatures who inhabit the spiritual realm gear-up for an all out attack on the human plane, the only one capable of saving the Earth is a tough-talking hellspawn rejected by both worlds. (credit to Anthony Pereyra via imdb.com)

Awards: 1 nomination

Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Luke Goss

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and some language.

Box Office: $74,616,780

Let me just say, I'm no Science Fiction fan. I can count the bountiful amount of movies I enjoy that are sci-fi on one hand without using all my fingers. So, why did I see this movie? Well, because of circumstances. Someone asked me to go... and so I went. It was a movie and so I couldn't let go by. Even I can say yes to the worst movie ever.

I've never watched the first movie and really didn't know what the movie was based on. So I went into the semi-uncomfortable theater blind sighted. But I had nothing to fear. For my first thoughts of this movie was exactly how it was. GHASTLY!

I won't go into the movie much, because to this day, it is just too much to even try to analyze. It is very safe to say, I did not enjoy this movie. At all. The jokes were ridiculously not funny and it was just an abomination. In my eyes.

The relationship between Selma Blair and Ron Perlman's character's what just... revolting... To think such a... strange man was having intercourse with a seemingly normal woman was beyond my imagination. But I felt it was just dry. Where was the love, the fire, the LIFE?

The acting was by far a waste of breath. They did horrible. It felt so strained and forced that it was painful to watch. I did, however get a refreshing splash of the true del Toro feel with the crazy and "gorgeous" creatures. I truly saw his inner talent shining through with the design and make up of these creatures. Everything else... was dead in my eyes.

I felt, so these guys are going to fight a golden army of machines, huh? This is something interesting. Let's see what happens. It was about 10 minutes, maybe 20, and then it was over. The action sequences were so boring that I felt like sleeping through the whole movie. It was a horrible experience.

F

The movie just left me empty inside. I was speechless after wards. Horrible!

MYV382

Allis R.

Director Guillermo del Toro is a visual filmmaker with two distinct styles. His mainstream cinema releases are big-budget action-packed hits like Blade 2 and the original Hellboy. In contrast we have a very deep and thought-provoking man who can construct dramatic masterpieces with an intense fantasy style such as Pan's Labyrinth and The Devil's Backbone. Both styles are very different and both work extremely well, but unfortunately the problem with Hellboy 2 is that both styles are thrown together and both are heavily compromised as a result.

You see, Hellboy 2 is neither glossy mainstream cinema nor dramatic fantasy; it is an uneasy mishmash of both, and  spends far too much time switching between the two to be able to find a balance. The action is underplayed in order to create more of a sense of the fantasy, but unfortunately the fantasy is also far too underplayed in favour of short and disappointing action sequences. The original Hellboy had such a strong narrative and was action-packed but this sequel fails to live up to that. It seems to have missed out on the golden rule of sequels and just not been able to better itself.

While X-Men was a great story-based film which familiarised us with the characters, the sequel X2 could just run with action from the outset yet still retain a great narrative. However, the story in Hellboy 2 just isn’t strong enough on its own to make a great film and it relies too heavily on spectacle and the visual flair of the director. This weak plot means that the viewer loses interest, and the subtleties in action and pace throughout the picture mean that we are made to expect a huge action sequence for the finale. However the last act doesn't live up to these expectations and just fizzles out.

Having said all that, there is still plenty to enjoy from Hellboy 2. There is no denying that Guillermo del Toro is a genius when it comes to his film-making style. Correctly branded in the trailer, he really is a "visionary director" and throughout the whole film every frame has been carefully and lovingly crafted to look amazing. As with his previous work he really has gone to extremes to create a film that is stunning to watch. The characters, locations, creatures and visual effects are impressive and worth the price of admission on their own. When it comes to syle, this is an epic film. The characters are well cast, although the lack of John Hurt and Rupert Evans (as the adopted father and the new recruit) hurt the film somewhat, and they are sorely missed.

Luke Goss is amazing to watch once again after an equally impressive role in Del Toro’s earlier film Blade 2. Ron Perlman proves again that there couldn’t be a more perfect choice for Hellboy. He plays the role with delight and passion, although he doesn't t seem to be quite as ‘cool’ as he was first time round - but maybe that's down to the script. The chemistry between him and Liz, played again by Selma Blair, is priceless and works well in providing the film with a comedic element.

Another interesting relationship is between Abe Sapien and Princess Nuala and this also leads to some very funny moments, but also some much needed personal drama. The film contains a lot of comedy elements throughout, as did the original. Hellboy has a lot of comic one-liners, some of which are extremely funny. There is also good use of slapstick, especially with Hellboy and Abe Sapien arriving at a fight drunk. The character of Johann Krauss, voiced fantastically by Seth MacFarlane, with his unpredictable German accent is also a source of great amusement. The comedy in the film works extremely well and helps it to maintain its slow pace.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an interesting film, but disappointingly nowhere near as good as its predecessor. It is, nonetheless, still a lot of fun with plenty to enjoy. No doubt we will have to wait a few years for the return of Hellboy as Del Toro is now going to be dedicating a lot of his life to The Hobbit films, but we won't see them until at least 2011, so enjoy this piece of Del Toro action while you can.       Russell Gomm

The first "Hellboy" was not bad. It had good visuals, a decent script and interesting enough characters that were like-able. Overall, it was a fun and entertaining movie.

When the trailers for the sequel came out, all I could think was "Damn, that looks pretty!" The story looked more interesting, too, giving the hint that this movie would delve even further into the magical and mystical world. Sadly, the only thing that met my expectations was the visuals.

The movie starts off with a cheesy looking young Hellboy on Christmas Eve wanting a bedtime story. I'm assuming they were trying for cute but what they got was an annoying buck-toothed bobble-head. The kid who was acting just moved his head way too much and about 5 seconds in, I just wanted to grab his head and go "STOP BOBBING!!"

Del Toro cleverly used this bedtime story as a way to back-fill the plot and show some of the lovely visuals his movie(s) are known for. It was well done as instead of focusing on the annoying kid, it went into simple puppet-type figures acting out the events in the story. The sequence reminded me a little of Dave McKean's art.

So the plot basically consists of an elf-prince, Nuada (Luke Goss) looking for the pieces of a crown that, when worn, will control an indestructible golden army. He wants to unleash this army on greedy humanity who have plundered the earth and driven the magical races into hiding. Of course, it's up to Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his team to stop Prince Nuada.

Following up with events of the first "Hellboy", there are some side stories that take place but frankly, I found them to be unnecessary and even a little annoying. There was a good enough story to concentrate on with Nuada and the golden army that they really didn't need to add subplots, especially romantic ones. It made the story seem under-developed and scattered. The script was filled with cheesy lines and the dialogue between characters didn't seem meaningful for the most part. The characters were a shadow of what they were in the first movie. Abe, one of the more interesting characters from the first movie was reduced to a stammering, dorky pre-teen experiencing his first crush. The introduction of a new character, Strauss, a ghostly being who walks around in a very steampunk diving suit of sorts, did little to make the movie any more stimulating. As for the actors, the lack of a good script made it seem like they were half-assing it.

The creatures, sets, costumes and special effects were the good things about this movie. Del Toro really knows how to deliver something people will appreciate from a visual standpoint. I liked his twist on the physical appearance of elves and his concept of the "angel of death" was creepy but also wowing. As a steampunk fan, I also enjoyed seeing the soldiers of the Golden Army and the set for the final battle between Nuada and Hellboy. The CG was very neatly done and the action sequences nicely choreographed.

Overall, I was disappointed with the results. It almost felt that all the attention was given to the visuals and the story came as an afterthought. I would not bother going to the theater for this one. As a rental, it might be okay but only if you just want to see pretty things.

The premise isn't particularly interesting (not to mentioned the flawed culmination) and the script isn't a gem either but what pulls this film through is the vision of writer-director Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth). He picks out a story that allows him to stay true to the Hellboy mythology but also provides him with the scope to fill the film with wondrous visuals.

The strongpoint of both Hellboy movies is the exploration of the characters and their conflicts with an undercurrent of humor. The scenes depicting the humanlike aspects of these paranormal crime fighting creatures works really well in both films. Hellboy, Liz, Abe and even the newly introduced Klaus kept me happy. The conflict for these supercreatures is still the same. They are trying to fit into the world they inhabit and help but despite their efforts humans continue to reject them.

If you are put off by weird creatures, crazy insects and a lot of gunk, you might not like the Hellboy universe. Otherwise, I believe this is a worthy successor (in fact, it is a bit better) to Hellboy and will be liked by most of those who enjoyed the original.

P.S. Some critics have pointed out that the plot of this film is quite similar to that of the third film in the Mummy series that released this weekend. Judging by the savage reviews of that film, this would be a much better watch.

Whether the movie will suck or end up a cult favorite, it is still Rose McGowan in a metal bikini. And that alone is worth the ticket price. No official website link yet.

Speaking of which, keep your peeps out for the upcoming Tekken movie (currently in post production) starring Luke Goss as Steve Fox and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Heihachi Mishima. As with most video game to movie franchises, I am a little skeptical even if the movie promises some "high octane" R-Rated action, I still have my reservations. I don't see a lot of hype going around with this one so far.

Se trata de Magdalena, en la que la joven Patience se percata que es la descendiente de una saga de sagradas guerreras descendientes de María Magdalena y cuya misión es preservar a la humanidad del mal diabólico que la amenaza.

La heroína suele luchar por tanto contra todo tipo de demonios del averno, auqnue el fanatismo de sus propios compañeros de misión suele ser también un peligroso rival.

La actriz elegida para el papel es la joven Jenna Dewan, que será acompañada en la producción por Luke Goss. Este último se encargará de dar vida a Kristof, un agente de la ultrasecreta organización encargada de guardar el secreto de la Magdalena.

Una vez más la co-producción vuelve a recaer en el cabecilla de Top Cow Marc Silvestri, que tiene la responsabilidad de encontrar un director para el proyecto.

Aún se desconoce la fecha de estreno, aunque se da por hecho que será a mediados de 2.009.

If you still haven’t had your fill of faux-gothic tales, wherein mystical/and or comic superheroes, attended by volumes of liturgy and lore, serve as models for the eternal fight between good and bad, lightness and darkness, truth and falsehood and whatever else reeks of universal quandary, then “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” is for you.

However, if you rue the day that George Lucas conjured the Mos Eisley bar for “Star Wars” (1977) and thereupon launched a ceaseless competition to replicate and permutate all manner of gnome, elf, druid and otherworldly creature in every sci-fi fantasy to date, then this second coming of Mike Mignola’s comic book character is to be avoided.   

Granted, writer-director Guillermo del Toro is quite a craftsman. Odds are it would be different if he were the first one to regale us with the uber fairy tale characters that, as far as most adolescents are concerned, now comprise central casting.

Which makes me wonder. If I were around to pen these tortured opinions in the 1930s and ‘40s, during the zenith of the screwball comedy, would I have soon tired of the similar themes, the acknowledged satires, the standard witticisms? Would the films all seem to run into each other? Would I sing about no longer getting a kick from Lombard?

I’d like to think not. And in all fairness, that’s how a substantial portion of Hellboy’s adherents feels about their comic book/ fake world genre. There doubtlessly is an identifying solace. For others, it’s like trying to hear a silent dog whistle.

Separating the story from the technological chaff, there is nothing novel here. Prince Nuada (Luke Goss), the epitome of evil, having had enough of the centuries-old peace between elves and humans, decries the increasing decadence of mankind. He intends its total annihilation by awaking the Golden Army.

Naturally, or, more appropriately, supernaturally, said feat can’t be accomplished without all the pieces of the golden crown. Put it together and presto change-o, the fabled force is ready to decimate whosoever you wish. Trouble is, Nuada’s dad, King Balor, who owns a piece of the crown, believes a treaty is a treaty.
Suffice it to note, Prince Nuada doesn’t care how his actions might be judged at the next family reunion. Conversely, his twin sister Princess Nuala (Anna Walton), while sharing all sorts of cosmic and spiritual threads with bad boy bro, sees dear old dad’s viewpoint. When Pop resists, Nuada shows us how bad he really is.

Of course, fighting this villain will require more than mortal mettle. Which is where Hellboy (also known as Red) and his colleagues at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense come into play. A bizarrely creative collection of diverse super sorts, they do the word motley proud.

Jeffrey Tambor is Manning, their clichéd, put upon and hence constantly exasperated boss. Funny because authority figures charged with containing the uncontrollable humiliatingly prove you can’t stifle individualism, he is charged with seeing to it that his Bowery Boy-like rascals remain covert.

During the last lifesaving adventure, our super iconoclast, effectively portrayed by Ron Perlman, had the chutzpah to sign an autograph. His principal cohorts are more discreet. Attractive Selma Blair is Liz Sherman, Red’s love interest. A pyrokinetic, she can turn into a torch at will. It proves convenient.

Doug Jones is Abe Sapien, an aquatic empath and Red’s best pal, in case you didn’t know. Abe’s major contributions are his smarts and his intuition. And because someone just has to, his falling in love with the princess adds a sweet subtext. P.S.- He knows a secret about Liz and Hellboy.

Indeed, there are these soapy operatics, included because, as described to poetic perfection in Cole Porter’s “Anything Goes,” no matter how much the brave new generation doth protest, there’s no denying the immutability of love. The rest of the film is about war, with time-outs allotted to dwell on Mr. Perlman’s curious antihero.

Cigar perennially perched in mouth G.I Joe style, beer-drinking, and plain–talking, he curses softly and carries a big gun. We doubt neither his altruism nor the tacit insinuation that, despite his uncertain origins, he, like Yankee Doodle Dandy, is a real live nephew of his Uncle Sam. The image is altered only to disguise the goodie-two-shoes of it all.

A quick-splice interview with James Lipton (available on YouTube) lends a humorous insight into the character. Problem is, the entire film is a jam-packed tapestry of such fleeting intricacies. Thus while the great unwashed can hardly catch their breath long enough to dig the jive, one suspects the multi-tasking target masses will find the non-stop effusions of “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” nothing less than heaven sent.
…
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army,” rated PG-13, is a Universal Pictures release directed by Guillermo del Toro and stars Ron Perlman, Selma Blair and Luke Goss. Running time: 110 minutes

Although this film had many singular-looking creatures of a "not quite human" kind, martial events, love, and some good humor, I thought it was basically stale and apparently commercial-uber-alles. Ever since the first Star Wars, there have quite a few films that flashed a veritable zoo of living oddities successfully. I don't say that it all started at a Tatuene bar, but that scene was the modern mother of a bunch of similar strange beings gathered in films, generally to participate in mayhem.

In this film nearly all the scenes and events seemed "ripped off" in fairly raw fashion, regarbed, and pasted (or edited) into a presentably streamline flick. That's why virtually anyone who sees this film will feel that "been there, done that" feeling. The film clearly owes a storyline of re-packaged Star Wars. It also seems to borrow from The Lord Of The Rings quest myth. Even the X-Men variety of "genetic freaks" who are somewhat isolated as a group and live in a tense, uneasy relationship with humans is introduced. From this set of films is also derived the impelling "we vs them" mentality that characterizes the conflict central to the main theme of the movie. The seed of all these films may well be traced to Tod Browning extraodinary tale, Freaks (1932). Even the 1948 Bud Abbott & Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein may be considered in this line, as Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and the Werewolf all managed to interact with the comedians and each other.

 Furthermore, subsequent TV "sitcoms," perhaps for reasons of budget constraints, combined the characteristics of Abbott and Costello into one being, who was a quipping, lovable "mensch" that had a tough, practical side, too. Which side was given dominance might well depend on the female co-star. It may also be argued that the male teams of the forties and fifties were transformed into married couples. In more modern times these couples need not be married.

Be that as it may, Ron Perlman's character blends the Harrison Ford character, "Han Solo," with a variety of lower-middle-class, urbanites of TV fame, spouting wisecracks, street-toughness, and practicality. I believe that Perlman has been doing this sort of character more often then not. I seem to recall seeing him in Washington, D.C., during the eighties, playing "Stanley" in A Streetcar Named Desire. He subsequently played a similar role in one of the Aliens, as I recall. Hence, I think of him as being among a "big screen" group of actors that would include the likes of Vin Diesel and Bruce Willis. All of these are glorified versions of the old Aldo Ray characters, usually found in war flicks. This is the tough, cigar-smoking, plain-as-the-streets American character. Only, these are "not quite right" human specimens. Are they quietly preaching diversity here?

Selma Blair's "Liz" is a fiery freak when she wants to be, usually she's playing a character not too far removed from Audrey Meadows' "Alice Kramden." She's not deadpan in her approach to the role, but still exhibits the same "war of the sexes" dynamics that Meadows and many others have flashed in a similar situation. Hence, there is something beyond "comfort level" in seeing these familiar types interacting in familiar ways.

Luke Goss's character struck gold briefly in this film, both in the role of a "Returned Prince" and as an oddly outre warrior. Somehow he managed to be the creepiest, scariest of all the characters, and the special effects people did "yeoman duty" in their creations. All the others were a combination of odd, ugly, and sometimes big--but not scary. There were little "Tooth Fairies" who recalled such things as schools of piranha or army ants. There was a towering floral beast. And there was "Wink" (Steele) the beast, who looked to be about the size of Mighty Joe Young with some lower tusks similar to a warthog's and a metalic fist that could be shot forth like a mace on a yoyo string. The oddest of all was "Abe Sapien" (Jones), who clearly was inspired by The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954), but who has been "homo-sapienized" with a comely blue exterior accentuated by nifty slashes of marine camouflage. He's leaner and smoother than the "creature" and has the sort of "heart" that the Tinman longed for in The Wizard of Oz (1939). Also, he has mannerisms similar to D2R2 and even to the Star Trek android, Data. Naturally, this glorified fish falls in love with a princess. Have we seen and read this before?

This is not to say that the acting is bad in the flick, but that the viewer tends to be distracted by the freak show.

Goss and his stunt man (presumed)  were very effective at projecting a formidable warrior in Prince Nuada. He looks a little like Johnny Winters in the face-head-hair departments. He has a twin, "Princess Nuala" (Anna Walton), he is obviously not an identical twin, yet still is so closely related to her brother that they are like twin empaths, each feeling what the other feels. Still, they do not think alike, which leads to his undoing. In a sense these two are a parallel to Hellboy and Liz, as they, too, have a battle of the sexes conflict throughout the film.

The film opens with an unfortunately extended preamble involving the appearance of a strange "life-form" on Earth, which is taken into a sort of protective custody by the federal government of the U.S., and reared--more or less--by military and scientists. At one point at the special institute for paranormal research where the adult Hellboy and Liz are employed as "agents," one sees in very large letters the number "51." Certainly, this was no accident and meant to be suggestive. At any rate the unearthly boy is seen by viewers as a boy relating to his "father" in a normal sort of way. The father was a kindly, wise model for the boy, reading him a story which tended to blend into the film story being viewed by moviegoers. The wholesome background did not produce an adult whose home culture was clearly evident. Nurturing could not overcome his genetic uniqueness, apparently.

Incidentally, his mythic position in the film was that of the "fallen angel." He's red of complection, and the religio-mythic implication is that he is of the Lucifer-Satan branch of Creation. His woman, "Liz" (Blair), constantly wears a cross on a band or necklace around her neck. It is eerie to see her thusly, when she goes fiery. A few may recall the many martyrs who suffered a "burning at the stake." Furthermore, to see her with this Christian symbol about her neck on the one hand and to see her as the lover of the Satan figure in this flick on the other might well lead one to infer a mocking denigration of the Messiah, His mother, and His parentage rarely seen outside the Talmud. That Liz is a mother figure is clear, as the film expends some time on her concern about being pregnant (Abe told her he sensed it), about her being pregnant certainly, and at the end about the knowledge that there would be twins. As Liz and Hellboy are far more akin to Jewish couples on TV and in movies, as well as "real life," one wonders why she wasn't sporting a "Star of David." It would be at least consistent. Some may object that "crosses" in this context have no religious meaning, being mere decorations. I don't believe that any such item is introduced in films without premeditation. Premeditation is a prerequisite to guilt.

Story outline: A strange foundling is discovered on Earth by U.S. authorities and reared in a protected and observed home environment. He appears to be a normal boy except for his red skin and horns (we don't see his feet). He does have a tail. He seems to be bright and rather good. His "father" reads from a book, dealing with heroic events. This story blends into another parallel story being told. This is the historical strifing and warfare betweeb trolls et al and humans. There is much slaughter. Finally, the trolls' leader, "King Balor" (Doltice), finally submits to a peaceful relationship with humans, so to halt the horrors of war. King Balor has twins, Prince Nuada and Princess Nuala. Nuada could not accept his father's "appeasement" of the humans and storms away, vowing to return one day to lead his people once again against the humans and to rule the world. As a precaution against this happening, King Balor divides his crown into three parts, taking care to distribute them about. Whoever bore the whole crown would command an invincible army of "Golden Warriors," which had been mechanically contived by an ingenious servant. Meanwhile, Hellboy grows up and accepts a job with a paranormal research organization, where he meets Liz, Abe and other genetic anomalies. (Abe is first encountered at the institute lulling about inside an aquarium tank.) The film spins some wheels about now, allowing interested viewers to learn more about what makes freaks "tick." Then, with a camera cut, we see the return of Prince Nuada. First he is seen doing his "martial arts thing." Then he summons "Wink" and off they go to claim the throne, even if it means killing his father to do it. His sister begs him not to "choose the dark side" by implication. She avails not. Nuada wants war. Meanwhile, Hellboy & company go trolling, entering eventually into a "troll quarter" where they do some troll-bashing. Both Prince and Princess are also there. Abe gets a glance of Nuala's belt clasp, notes its royal swirls of gold, and stalks her down. They both are "sensing" one another with considerable daring. Before long their hearts draw near. From this point forward the dueling destinies of Hellboy & company and Prince Nuada & company strife for the golden crown whole and command of the invincible Golden Army. (They appear to be self-repairing.) There is also introduced earlier at the institute a German "gas bag" who is initially treated by Hellboy with contempt ("Don't like German!"). However, the German's spiritual ways prove to be useful in a number of tough situations. Finally, grudgingly, the "devil" gives the German his due, as being rather resourceful. The "bag of gas" also offers some comic potential to del Toro's team. After some tough fighting with some formidable and monstrous foe, Hellboy and Nuada "get it on." Hellboy gets "bitten" by Nuada's spear. Taken near death to Ireland, the Hellboy is saved by the Angel of Death. (Go figure!) Now it is time for the final tussle--round two! Sudden death! Command of the Golden Army and the world are at stake. It looks bad for Hellboy. Then, Princess Nuala stabs herself in the chest! Guess whose twin feels her pain? And is Abe upset! Many a tear would fall if it wasn't so far fetched. There is an epilogue. Liz and Hellboy give the viewer a touch of the domestic scene to come.

All rights reserved. Gobigfoot, 2008.

Bros arrived like a comet in the firmament in 1988, when I was 12 years old and had big front teeth. I hated them.

They made me angry. They made me angry because they were a symbol of all the things that I didn't understand, like haircuts, clothes, dancing and certain new and ambivalent feelings towards girls.

I turned my back on this world of shame and terror, and gratefully embraced all that was reassuringly uncool; Queen, Dire Straits, geography lessons and fantasy role-playing games. As a result, I never had sex with anybody until after I left school.

You'd think that I would still bear Luke Goss some kind of grudge for that, but the intervening years have been good to me and I am reconciled with my past. Indeed on many counts I have been proved correct, such as my refusal to wear shiny black shoes with white socks and my jeans turned up.

Instead of feeling sorry for my younger self, I now worry retrospectively for the Goss twins, especially Luke who as the frontman seemed to have the more tortured, artistic soul of the two. I wonder what happened to them once the tide of fame receded; whether their long-term aspirations and dreams were ever fulfilled, whether they ever found true comfort in the arms of another.

It seems I had no cause for concern on the career front. I may be a little behind the curve on this one, but I read today that Luke has just made his Hollywood breakthrough in Guillermo del Toro's new Hellboy movie, in which, according to the New York Times, he plays "an angry blond elf-prince who robs an auction house and whose twin sister bleeds maple syrup whenever he is injured."

I wonder if Matt ever bled maple syrup when Luke got nicked on the ear with the hair clippers.

The New York Times reviewer makes no reference to Luke Goss's past, whether through ignorance or tact I have no idea. The overall review of the film is favourable, but Luke's presence is enough on it's own for me to book my front-row ticket. The kids who pitch up at their multiplex will no doubt accept the angry blond elf-prince without a second thought, but we can say that we knew him back when he was just a boy like us who wanted to be famous.

Alright, so we continue to talk about upcoming Video Game Movies(VGM) and I posted a while back about Tekken and here I bring it back to the table because apparently Luke Goss is saying it is.  If you don't know who Luke Goss is he was the main antagonist in Blade 2, he was the rebellious/mutated/vampire dude.  He is currently "Prince Nuada" in the new Hellboy movie currently in theaters.  And will be playing Steve Fox in the upcoming Tekken film.  And here's a quick fun fact for ya... he used to be in an 80's boy band.  Now he uses martial arts to kick ass. Anyway, here is the word from our friends over at MTV:
   

 "Luke Goss boasted to MTV News, saying that the story's fidelity to
its source will shock most hardcore fans.
    One thing it won't share in common with the game, of course, is Goss
himself - or rather, Goss's character, Steve Fox. Yes, the character makes
several appearances in the games, but as a much younger man (one of the
coolest actually, a fighter who doesn't kick.) How do they update him here?
    "I play him 15 years after his kind of champion days. He's in the
underbelly at that time of the Tekken environment," Goss said. "He's trying
to find a protégé to go and kick some Tekken butt and he just might do it."

So... it is going to follow the story? Or it isn't? Steve fox is a main character within in the game, in shape, etc... what's this him being fat and 15 years past his mark in the movie?  Accurate? To that I say NIGH sir!