~thanks Dave!

My second week of work experience past without incident, and as a thankyou present to everyone, I bought a card, three toblerones and a plastic ornamental garden duck, which seemed to be the highlight. So next time I or my parents go into Tanners, we must ask of the duck (maybe in the vain hope of a discount).

On the Wednesday of the second week of work experience, I came home to find a letter on the worktop, addressed to me. Well, I say me, but school, of all people, had spelt my name wrong on the address. The people who have my name on every register, record and piece of work that I've ever had anything to do with spelt my name with an s. Curses go to my parents (for giving the awkwardly spelt, Scottish name (God knows why, we have no Scottish connections)) and in some parts to America (who's stupid TV sitcom 'Frasier' has meant my name has been pronounced and spelt wrong by anyone new to me). Anyway, I opened up this letter, which I found asked me to go to a meeting on Monday about being senior prefect (i.e. Head Boy). After a pause, and a run around the (empty) house screaming, I decided to celebrate by eating some breadsticks (sod the Moët, which I'd been working with for the last week and a half anyway).

So, off I toddled to school on Monday, rather nervous and thinking up answers to all the possible questions I could think up in my head. I later found that the only contenders I had were Oli Longland, who I get on quite well with and... Tarquin! Yes yes, you might laugh at the name, but really, it's as prattish as he is. This is the same person who has in the past stabbed me (in the chest) with a pen, ripped my T-shirt (making it look like a boob-tube) and told Kim (South African) that she should F***k off back to her own country (causing Kim to cry) just because she told him to shut up. On top of this, his trousers are way to short, he has an annoying voice, he tries to act 'ard all the time and thinks of himself even more so because he does kick-boxing; also, there's hilarious videos on Bebo (social networking site) of him punching a punch bag, which are so obviously sped up. What a bastard, you might be thinking, and you'd be right. Socially, he is looked down upon by nearly everyone for these exact reasons. Anyway, I went to this meeting (I was the first out of three boys and four girls up for the jobs) that was being conducted by Miss. Youngs and Mr. Sherwin. This involved a variety of questions, including "What do you think the job would involve?", "Describe yourself in three words" etc. I thought the interview went okay, but not brilliant.

"Oli, Tarquin and Frazer, could you please go to the foyer at break-time". Two hours! That's how long I had to wait from getting that message from my tutor to finding out the result of my interview. So, after this agonising period of time, all seven of us met in the foyer and were then taken into Mr. Thompson's (the Head's) office. But rather than just telling us who had gotten what, he proceeded to waffle for another agonising five minutes. Just bloody get on with it and tell us! And he did, in a rather casual manner. So now you're reading the blog of the Corbet School's head boy (Y). The deputy head boy is Oli, meaning that Tarquin got diddly-squat! Ha!
So all that was left to do was receive the badge off the previous year's head boy in the 40 minute, end of year assembly, in which all of years 7, 8, 9 and 10 (about 600 pupils) are squashed into the hall. Great. But thankfully that went without incident.

In other news, my (French) Spanish teacher, Mrs. Chudleigh, is leaving, as her (English) husband has got a job in Devon and she too is going with him. I think this is a real shame, as she was really nice to our (small-ish) Spanish group, and even brought in Orangina and brioche (not very Spanish) on our last lesson. Despite this, the rest of the school says that she is a total cow in other lessons, and gives out after-schools rather un-necessarily. But anyway, she was nice to us, so I don't really care.

Well I'm off to Yorkshire tomorrow morning with Kim, Georgi and her parents until Thursday, so if anyone is stalking me, please follow closely (I wouldn't want you to miss me).

(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you

(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up

(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you

(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

Things to include:

• Use both numbers, letters, and symbols. (Example: #g%6n4x)
• Include capital and lowercase letters. (Example: QwERty)
• Substitute different symbols for letters.  (Example: Use the number '0', zero, instead of the letter 'O')
• Make a unique acronym.  (Example: "ILG" instead of "I love God.")
• Use phonetic replacements. (Example: "IOU" instead of "I owe you.")

 Things to avoid:

• Do not use an example password. 
• Do not use a password that includes personal information.  Personal information includes your name, initials, birth date, etc.  (Wrong: "Nate")
• Do not use words or acronyms that can be found in the dictionary.
• Do not use keyboard patterns. (Wrong: "qwerty")
• Do not use sequential patterns.  (Wrong: "abcd" or "1234")
• Do not make your password all numbers, all symbols, all uppercase letters, or all lowercase numbers.  You should include some of each.  (Wrong: "18536", "@*%$&", "AGJDC", or "fhbmr")
• Do not use repeating characters. (Wrong: "ffDD##55")

Tips for keeping your password secure:

• Never tell your password to anyone.  (This includes your pet parrot. :) )
• Never write your password down.
• Never send your password in an email.
• Periodically change your password.

If you follow these tips, your passwords will be reasonably safe.

We, the undersigned, believe the honorable brother Datuk Seri Dr. Anwar Ibrahim to be of the highest ethical and moral integrity, a devout Muslim and a devoted father and husband. He is universally recognized as an advocate for justice and fairness, and he has a long history of promoting Islam and championing Islamic ethical and charitable causes.

We are deeply concerned about the physical safety and freedom of our respected brother Datuk Seri Dr. Anwar Ibrahim. We are troubled by the unsubstantiated and clearly scurrilous claims made against him and his character. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (The Holy Qur’an, Al-Hujurat, 49:12)

Our beloved Malaysia is today one of the leading countries of the Muslim Ummah. It is an example of a successful modern Islamic country, and in many ways a model and example for other Muslim countries. This has been due to the Grace of Allah and then largely to the historical and invaluable efforts and contributions made by Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammed and Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi (among others). Every Muslim who knows anything about Malaysia is proud and appreciative of these efforts. Equally, every Muslim who knows Malaysian politics is appreciative of the formidable political courage in leadership exhibited by Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammed during his time as Prime Minister of Malaysia and of the example of personal piety and forbearance that Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi has given the Ummah today.

Indeed, perhaps precisely because of Malaysia’s prominence within the Ummah and the world, we would like to point out that the global Muslim community is paying close attention to the way our respected and honorable brother Dr. Anwar Ibrahim is treated. We have no wish to interfere in the internal politics of Malaysia, or in civil and criminal accusations within the country, which we reiterate are ultimately the business only of the Malaysian state and people. However, the spectacle, ten years ago, of our respected brother Datuk Seri Dr. Anwar Ibrahim sitting patiently in court after having been personally and illegally beaten up by then Police Chief of Malaysia is still fresh within our minds as a travesty of justice and impartiality under the law in a leading Muslim country. We are all still ashamed of that image, which will ever be indelibly engraved in our memories. So we remind our bothers in Malaysia that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that justice is the very goal of government in Islam. And Allah Himself says in the Holy Qur’an:

“Say: My Lord enjoineth justice …” (Al-A’raf, 7:29)

Thus we feel that we have a right — and indeed, an obligation under Islam — to strongly urge the Malaysian authorities to facilitate a swift, transparent and just resolution to this issue and resolutely ensure the safety, freedom and physical well-being of our honorable and respected brother Anwar Ibrahim. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“The Truth is from thy Lord (O Muhammad), so be not thou of those who waver.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:147)

Moreover, given the political implications of the timing of this latest incident; given the political undertones of the previous incidents of similar accusations made in 1998 — which led to the wrongful incarceration of Dr. Anwar Ibrahim for six years, and that have since been publicly refuted in the highest Malaysian court of law — and given the proven questionable nature of the authorities involved in the investigation, we feel morally obliged to also state our deep concern about the prospects of true justice for Anwar Ibrahim in the current authorities in the police and prosecution departments (whose leadership was personally involved in Dr. Anwar Ibrahim’s previous unjust accusations) without deliberate, careful, impartial and independent political oversight. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“Lo! Allah enjoineth justice and kindness, and giving to kinsfolk, and forbiddeth lewdness and abomination and wickedness. He exhorteth you in order that ye may take heed.” (Al-Nahl, 16:90)

Finally, we are morally obliged as Muslims to also point out that our religion and our beloved Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) regard false accusations in these matters to be of extremely grave consequence. In fact, under Islamic Law, accusations of this magnitude that are not substantiated by four eye-witnesses of impeccable character (such as did not occur neither with these accusations nor with the previous ones) incur severe legal punishment only for the accusers themselves. Perhaps what is most insidious and disturbing, however, is the likely malevolent and slanderous intent behind these attacks on the moral character of our brother Dr. Anwar Ibrahim. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“When ye welcomed it with your tongues, and uttered with your mouths that whereof ye had no knowledge, ye counted it a trifle. In the sight of Allah it is very great. / Wherefor, when ye heard it, said ye not: It is not for us to speak of this. Glory be to Thee (O Allah)! This is awful calumny. / Allah admonisheth you that ye repeat not the like thereof ever, if ye are (in truth) believers.” (The Holy Qur’an, Surat Al-Nur, 24:15-17)

However, we have complete trust in Allah and so remain hopeful that the highest political authorities in Malaysia will, in sha Allah, secure an honest and just outcome to this deeply troubling situation. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“Let there arise from you a band of people who invite to goodness, and enjoin right conduct and forbid wrong. Such are they who are successful.” (Aal-‘Imran, 3:104)

Wal-Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu.

Signed by (in Alphabetical Order of First Names):

Islamica Magazine

July 2008 CE;   Rajab 1429

Received this email and have signed the letter they are sending. Please let us join together and make our voices heard. Thank You.

Dear Christine,

Wealthy speculators are driving up gas prices and fueling calls for harmful new drilling off our coasts and in pristine places like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

It’s a classic match-up: Wall Street fat cats versus American families and the natural treasures we leave to our children. And in the next two weeks, Congress will vote to see who wins.

Help protect our polar bears from profit-hungry speculators and Big Oil. Urge Congress to pass legislation to address high gas prices by restoring accountability and transparency in the oil markets.

Speculation in the oil markets is a major factor in high gas prices.

Here’s how it works: Weak oversight and accountability in the oil market allows wealthy investors from around the world to drive up the price we pay for gas by purchasing oil that they have no intention of using.

According to Michael Masters of Masters Capital Management, who testified before the House Energy and Commerce Committee in June, “with greater regulation [of speculation], oil prices could drop to $65 or $70 a barrel within about 30 days.”[1]

Ask your Senators and Representative to pass legislation to address high gas prices and protect our polar bears and other wildlife from the oil speculators and Big Oil’s disastrous drilling plans.

Officials within the Bush Administration’s own Energy Information Agency estimate that oil from the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge wouldn’t hit the market for several years and would only reduce gas by a few pennies. Similarly, the agency has said that offshore drilling would not significantly impact domestic production or prices before 2030.

But this drilling would come at a terrible cost to our wildlife and the environment. Arctic drilling activities would disturb the most important onshore denning habitat for America’s threatened polar bears -- potentially causing polar bear mothers to abandon their cubs.

Offshore drilling has its own problems: Each platform produces toxic discharges that can poison and kill marine wildlife and dumps tons of air pollutants into our atmosphere.

Please take a stand against irresponsible policies that hurt our families and put our wildlife at risk. Send your message now!

More drilling may benefit wealthy investors, Big Oil companies and their allies in Congress, but it won’t lower prices at the pump or end America’s oil addiction.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/328940837?z00m=15760152

I received this in my email and I went to the site above and wrote the letter. I hope others will do the same.

Dear Christine,

Earlier this week, the prosecutor at the International Criminal Court (ICC) formally requested an arrest warrant for Sudan's president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir, on charges of genocide and crimes against humanity.

Help bring justice to the people of Sudan. »

In Sudan's internal conflict, 300,000 people have died and 2.5 million people have been displaced into refugee camps since 2003. And now the ICC's prosecutor is saying what many have believed all along -- that President al-Bashir "masterminded and implemented" a plan to destroy three ethnic groups in Darfur. And that he used government soldiers and paramilitary groups to purposely target civilians.

The United States needs to support the work of the ICC and engage in a multi-pronged strategy to bring peace to Central Africa and punish the perpetrators of human rights abuses.

Send a letter to President Bush today! »

Thanks for taking action!

"That stuff is bad for you."

"Driving 120 miles per hour on US-281 isn't exactly good for me either.  This isn't exactly a road built for this sort of thing."

"Relax.  We'll be fine.  So, what else can you tell me about Sioux Falls?"

"Look, I appreciate you trying to learn more about the state, my city and my time in school, but how come you keep asking all those questions?"

"Just making conversation.  And, to be totally honest, I'm trying to see how with it you are after your concussion."

Will fought back a small laugh.  "How am I doing?"

Clayton bobbed his head to the right, and then straightened it out.  "Well, you're don't strike me as a recent concussion victim."

"Thanks.  I'll take it."  Will took a long drink from his water, then screwed the cap back on.  "Now, what about you?  How did you end up in the F.B.I. and then out here?"

"Oh no, we're not talking about me."

"Why not?"

Clayton turned his head and stared Will right in the eyes.  Will looked away, and Clayton looked forward.  "Because" Clayton said, as he reached to flip on the radio.

***

Phil slowly folded the letter back up, and placed in back in the envelope.  Bob still had his head in his hands, and he had not looked up since he had started looking down.  Phil took a deep breath and asked "Why?  Why would you do that?"  Bob didn't answer.  "Dammit Bob, answer me!"  Phil grabbed his shoulder and started shaking Bob, but Bob wouldn't look at him, nor would he answer.  Phil threw the letter to the floor of the car and reached for Bob's throat.  Bob's neck was slowly compressing in Phil's hands, and Bob was fighting back, albeit with halfhearted punches at Phil's forearms.  He weakly punched Phil's fists as Phil shouted "WHY?" over and over.  Michelle was hesitating to stop Phil, but she was still trying to pull Phil away from Bob before Bob died.  Phil's grip only tightened.  Another voice was just at the edge of Phil's mind.

"Turn right, then park behind this building."

Phil kept squeezing as Bob's weak punches stopped coming.  Bob was becoming a rag doll in Phil's grip, but he couldn't stop squeezing.

"We're here.  Phil.  Phil?  PHIL!"

Phil snapped his head up and snapped back to reality.  He looked down and saw his fists clenched so tightly a few fingernails had actually dug into his hands.  Bob was looking around, and Michelle was sitting behind the wheel, her face a mask of concern, anger, and confusion.

"Where's here?" Bob asked.

Here is what I wrote (and sent) to the top 15 plus the presidency of the Seventy:

The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints
50 East North Temple
Salt Lake City, UT 84150

Attention: Elder (Name)

Dear Elder (Name):

As one who suffers from within, I write this letter to inform you of the magnitude of a growing problem. I am fully active, fully worthy, and fully apostate. I remain active solely for the sake of immediate and extended family unity, and to preserve my marriage. The fact that I cannot act upon my knowledge about fraudulent church history and doctrine has created a considerable dilemma for both the church and myself. The church is filled with people like me, and if you do not address this dilemma, the church will collapse from within. This letter, therefore, is an appeal for your consideration of my personal dilemma, and to serve as a witness against you if you fail to act.

I am writing this letter anonymously because I fear the power of your unrighteous dominion. It is not acceptable for you to claim that you personally would not wish for those like me to suffer or fear. The “Strengthening Church Members Committee” has proven its reach in the true style of “1984 Thought-Crime” investigations and “Ministry (councils) of Love” discipline. Yes, I fear you, I loath your tactics, and I forcibly serve you. If you doubt my claim of forced servitude, then you would be wise to withhold your assessment until the end of this letter. I am writing with the futile hope that you (or anyone) will care enough to resolve this growing and unavoidable tragedy within the church; the tragedy of those who know the truth and cannot act upon it without destroying their families.

I come from 1837-convert lineage. I grew up in the Mormon Colonies in Mexico; I was hyper-valiant in my youth; I completed reading the full set of scriptures by the age of 16; I had all the missionary discussions and missionary scriptures memorized before even getting my call to serve; I served a very successful mission in Mexico; I attended BYU; I married in the temple; I served in four different bishoprics, high council, stake executive secretary, gospel doctrine instructor, young men’s president, high priest group leader, and various other callings; I was a student of the gospel, and was known for my answers to difficult historical and doctrinal questions; I have attended the temple more than 800 times, and virtually have the whole thing (all ordinances) memorized; I am a set-apart ordinance worker; I am currently serving in three ward and stake callings; IN OTHER WORDS: I deserve your respect, and am not engaged in any unworthy activity, so before you categorize me into some convenient slot, think again.

I have five children, two returned-missionary-temple-married, one attending BYU, and two active in the youth program. My wife and I have lived our nearly 25 years of marriage completely united in our commitment to a gospel oriented home. My wife is one of the most valiant, unquestioning, devoted members you will ever meet. Our happiness in marriage was centered in the gospel. We have faithfully performed all of the home-strengthening practices (FHE, daily prayer and scripture study, etc) throughout our married years. Our children are strong in the church because we as parents gave them that foundation. We are your typical success story.

This changed approximately two years ago. The story about how it changed is long, complicated, and spans years of personal study, personal observation, and experience. Rather than rehearse the entire journey, I will only summarize the end results. Suffice it to say that I have discovered reliable unchallenged facts about church history, church operations, church doctrine, and church culture that have brought me to the undeniable conclusion that the church is not true. Not only is the church not true (meaning that it is not what it claims to be), but the church purposefully withholds (even denies) vital information that would lead ANY thinking person to the same conclusion. Finally, church leaders even boast about the moral and ethical justification for acting this way. This is the behavior pattern of a cult; it is inconsistent with the church’s own articles of faith; and it is the central reason for the growing groundswell of revolt from within. To ignore this fact is the height of arrogance. You are either stupid or you are devious; whichever you choose, you lose.

I have a feeling (since I cannot imagine a different possibility) that you already know about this problem. You already know that the church is not what it claims to be; you already know that Native Americans are not the Lamanites of the Book of Mormon; you already know that the whole story of the BOM is not accurate or historical or even a translation of gold plates; you already know that the Book of Abraham is not a translation of the papyri that it claims to be; you already know that the first vision account is not reliable or accurate; you already know that church history is a warped version of real history and real history paints a pretty bleak picture of church origins and behavior; you already know that spiritual “special witness” experiences are not what the average member believes them to be; and you already know that as prophets, seers, and revelators, you do not possess any such gifts as they are understood by the average member. You receive and even encourage unqualified trust in your special abilities, and you know very well that those abilities are not special at all. You may be talented administrators, but you are not prophets, seers, and revelators, and you know it. Yet you allow members to revere and honor you as such. You are either self-deceived or you are willing deceivers. You know that members believe and teach that you have had personal physical visitations from Jesus Christ, and you know that you have not had this experience. Yet, you are willing to allow members to perpetuate this myth for unknown but unavoidably dishonest reasons. This is a pattern, not an anomaly. You know you are not what you claim to be (or what church culture teaches about you); and you allow this false perception to continue. What does that say about you and your integrity?

So, after coming to this awful realization that things are not what they claim to be within the church, what are my options? This journey was so disruptive and internally tumultuous that I chose to travel it alone. I was absolutely certain that there were solid faith sustaining answers to each disturbing fact. Finally, after I had absorbed the magnitude of the truth, I tried to share it with my wife. To her horror, she saw that her husband had gone into the unthinkable realm of “apostasy”. At first, she resented me for even looking; then she denied the possibility that any of it could be true; then she tried to stand on the shaky ground that even if it was true it did not lead to the conclusions I had made; finally, she clings to the defensive posture that I cannot be smarter than you (how can so many good men be wrong and her imperfect husband be right?). This is where you come into the picture. This is where the church comes between me and my wife in our marriage relationship. This is where the damage is done in countless other relationships. Do you think that you can escape responsibility for this damage? Do you doubt your complicity in creating this wedge? Can you understand how people like me come to a point of powerless resentment against the church? I suspect that you cannot understand such things, because if you did you would use your influence to make necessary changes.

There is nothing more ironic than the saying that “A man can leave the church, but he can never leave it alone.” The truth is that “A man can leave the church but only if he leaves ‘alone’”, or “A man can leave the church but the church can never leave him alone.” You would gladly split up my family rather than allow my knowledge to draw them away from the church. You have proven such intent in both policy and practice.

I am trapped in the church; of that there can be no doubt. And yet I perceive that you do indeed doubt such an idea. It seems foreign to you that I would claim to be trapped in an institution that glorifies agency. But surely you can see the cultural elements (which you support) that limit my options. Extended family relationships are high-pressure control mechanisms. My leaving the church for doctrinal or historical reasons would have a devastating and disruptive impact on the entire family network. You glorify those who leave their families to join our church and at the same time you demonize those who would leave the church for whatever reason. You stereotype those who obtain damaging “truth” as intellectuals and apostates. You encourage an atmosphere of exclusion against those who have information that would damage faith, even when that faith is founded upon false data.

Your efforts of withholding and denying truth have had the result of destroying personal integrity. I know things that I cannot openly speak about, even with those closest to me. I lie in temple recommend interviews so I can go to the temple to see my own children get married, and because my wife is comforted by the image of a temple worthy husband. I lie to my children when they question an aspect of church history or doctrine, because the truth would place them in the same pressure cooker I am in. I lie to my wife because she finds the truth so disturbing. I lie because telling the truth is more painful than a comforting lie. And I learned to lie from you. You are lying to the membership by your silence (and denial) regarding information that is vital to faith. People base their faith on incorrect information; you know this; and you remain silent. You lie for the same reason that I lie; because people prefer a comforting lie over a disturbing truth. I am trapped here because of the culture you have created, and I am reduced to using the same tactics you use at the expense of personal integrity.

Your understanding of the culture you created and perpetuate through established programs is dismal. You preach adherence to the guidance of the brethren; you promise blessings for obedience to programs and leaders; you build a structure of dependence and hierarchical authoritarianism; you inculcate an environment of conformance without regard to individuality; and you do all of this with the stated intent of blessing and improving lives, relationships and family bonds. Your programs have evolved into a culture with the opposite effect than the one you intended; members feel constantly inadequate regardless of their effort; families pressure struggling children with bad advice that comes from your talks and books; you raise the bar, a blatant slap in the face to those who do not fit within your misguided program. Programs flounder not because of poor execution but because they are poor programs. When such negative results reach your ears, you are saddened that the poor members just do not see the vision; that they cannot learn the vital lessons. It never occurs to you that your inspiration and leadership is the flawed element. Either you are uninspired or uninformed, but your leadership is causing more suffering than blessings. But this is not really about bad programs. Rather, it is about faulty foundations. I do not expect you to acknowledge that the church is not what it claims to be, but I demand that you acknowledge your part in the failures. Stop blaming failure on the members. It is cheap and dishonest.

So, I am angry to the point of despair. I do not expect you to do anything with this information, except try to track me down and deal with me through your secret “committees”. I would resign today if I thought my family could remain intact. But I will continue to coax my family closer to the truth with longsuffering and gentle persuasion, and when they can see the real story without demonizing their father, son, and husband, then I will relish our departure and be rid of you and your unrighteous dominion. Someday I will not be so afraid of your influence, and I will confront your abuse of power directly.

Your success is over. You had a small window of opportunity to be forthcoming and open, and you have missed it. History is against you. Science is against you. TRUTH is against you. As you become more closed and protective, you will appear more ridiculous from the outside. Even though you will probably interpret this result to be “prophecy fulfilled,” the result will be the same. Enjoy your last breath of illusory comfort, because it will not last.

I am not alone. I am part of a growing community of knowledgeable members who will not be silenced for long. You have no idea how to deal with us because you fear our power. You fear it because you know that truth is on our side. I would feel pity for you except for the inexpiable arrogance that you currently display without remorse. The law of the harvest will be your undoing. You have sown seeds of benevolent deception; you shall reap a harvest of faithful rebellion.

Disrespectfully:

______________________________
Faithful Apostate

Sa pinakamamahal ko (sa bilog nga world),

Alam kong matatawa ka habang binabasa mo ang sulat ko. Matagal-tagal na ring hindi ako nakakasulat sa Filipino. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam habang sinusulat ko ito sapagkat alam kong bawat salitang bumubuo sa liham na ito ay ang buod ng aking kaluluwa, walang bahid ng pagpapanggap--tulad ng pagmamahal ko para sa iyo.

Kamusta na?

Salamat sa palaging pagpaparamdam sa akin na mahal mo ako. Nasasabik ako sa iyo. Nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung gagamitin ko ang salitang "nasasabik" dahil lubhang malalim ang kahulugan ng salita, matayog ang nilalaman. Anupaman, hayaan mong sabihin kong nasasabik ako sa pinakamamahal ko: sa iyo.

Dalawang buwan na tayong magkalayo, dalawang buwan na nating hindi nahahawakan ang mga kamay ng isa't isa. Ang hirap.

Kaninang umaga, habang sakay ako ng aking pulang bisekleta papuntang eskwela naisip kong wala na sigurong sasarap pa sa pakiramdam na sakay tayo ng bisekleta ko papunta sa kung saan man natin gustong pumunta, oo, kahit sa buwan pa. Hindi ako mapapagod sa pagpedal hanggang matakasan nating ang gravitational pull ng mundo at makalipad tayo. Hahayaan kong ikaw ang pipili ng planetang pupuntahan natin. Kahit na gustung-gusto kong pumunta sa Saturn at magpagulong-gulong sa mga rings nito sasama pa rin ako sa iyo papuntang Venus dahil alam kong ito ang paborito mong planeta.

Alam mo, walang McDonald's dito, pero hindi ako nababahala dahil may KFC. Naaalala ko pa ang unang date natin sa KFC. Wala nang sasarap pa sa French fries, orange chicken at hamburger at ang gravy na paborito mo. Natikman ko na ang specialty of the house ng Hilton, Metropole, at Intercon, pero babalik-balikan ko pa rin ang pamilyar na KFC at ang alaala ng ating unang pagkikita.

Higit isang taon na tayo. Di ako makapaniwala na tatagal tayo at tatawanan na lamang natin ang pinagdaanang pagsubok. Marami akong nagawang pagkakamali at maka-ilang beses mo akong pinatawad. Salamat at hindi natin binibilang ang mga pagkakamaling nagawa ng isa't isa.  

Hindi ko alam kung bakit naisipan kong sumulat sa iyo. Naisip lang kitang bigla.

Siguro, kahit magsawa na ang mundo sa mga sinusulat ko, alam kong sa isang bahagi nito sa isa sa mga isla sa Pacific Ocean ay may isang taong patuloy na magbabasa sa mga sanaysay ko, mga tula, daing, at mga ideyang nabuo sa isipan ko.

Gaya ng anumang bagay, tayo'y nabubuhay na walang kasiguruhan. Nakakatakot dahil maaaring bukas ay hindi na ako makapagsusulat. Subalit alam kong patuloy akong magmamahal.

Mananatiling sa iyo,

John

p.s.

Huwag kang magkakasakit.

P.S. there's no connection with the subject mentioned..coz my eng teacher told me the headline should be attention catching..she forgot to mention it should be related to the contents.

while i was gone in mexico, josiah had sent me with a bundle of letters with one marked to open each day. each one contained a verse or more of Scripture, and some encouraging explanations afterward to help me grow spiritually while i was away in my awareness of my worth as found in GOD alone. this is the area that i had confided in him and the rest of our community that i was needing growth in, i was very grateful for these letters as a response to helping me move forward in that.

i want to share my favorite one because i think it is very beautiful and that others could benefit from it as well. so, with permission from josiah, here we go:

A Reading from 1 Peter 1:8-9

         "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

(josiah's commentary) My favorite part about this verse is the words "inexpressible" + "glorious." I am filled with these feelings, usually when I least expect it. The last time I felt this joy, there was no way to describe it, I just felt that the Lord was present in my life + watching over me. We spend so much time only trusting what we can see with our eyes, but we must open our eyes BIGGER to see the LORD. Continue to listen to Him when He speaks, so you can hear Him more + more. Take some time to be quiet today, and think about your unseen God as you meditate.

hope you like it too.

love,

kate

I expected to spend the day with you. Or at least see you. You told me 2 days ago we would see eachother today. But the past week you've been acting really strange. Hmm. I wonder if it's because you think I saw you with your girlfriend at the mall last weekend? Haha. I didn't really see you. Bri did. But of course, I acted like I did, just to make you feel bad. Guess it didnt turn out the way I wanted it too huh? I don't get you. Will we ever go back to the way things were before? Will we ever stop fighting the feelings, so strong, between us? I KNOW you have a girlfriend. But cheating on her with me does not tell me you really like her as much as you say. You said you felt guilty and could never do it again. But a week later you decide to start calling me "babe" and "baby" and act as if I'M your girlfriend. You get jealous of other guys talking to me. I just don't get it. And lately, it just all changed out of nowhere. like right now, I just called you to tell you happy birthday one last time and say goodnight. You didn't answer. Why's it soo different this week? Maybe it is because we have not seen eachother in a few weeks. Well, I really do miss you. And you told me this morning you missed me too. We planned to see eachother on Sunday. We'll see how that goes.

People still delight in sending letters and packages, but sometimes they are too busy to attend to the fussy details, like writing the return address. Although the task seems quite simple, it can be pretty challenging when one sender needs to send quite a number of letters or packages to many recipients. Having to write the return address on every letter may be boring, not to mention time consuming.

It is good to know that there is a pretty simple solution to such problem. Address labels can now come in the form of sticker sheets or sticker rolls, thus saving the sender much effort from having to write every return address by hand. This way, one can make sure that the return address is printed neatly on the letter; this is essential especially when the postman has to return the letter or package to the sender. After all, it is a huge mistake to leave the upper left hand corner of the letter empty. It is basic to make sure that there is a return address on everything one sends out.

There are quite a number of websites that offer to make address labels. They have a vast library of designs that people can choose from. Those who love animals may opt to have animals printed on the background of their labels, while nature lovers can have serene scenes as backgrounds. Aside from choosing the background, a customer may also choose the size of the sticker label to be produced. Other details like font style and font size can also be customized. There are countless combinations that people can play around with. The designs are separated into different categories, so the customers will have an easier time choosing a design that suits their taste.

People who have more conservative preferences may also choose to have classic designs for their address labels. They can have pastel-colored backgrounds, or fancy cursive fonts to make their labels suit their elegant taste.

There is also an option wherein people can upload the pictures they want to be printed on their address labels. This lends a more personal touch to the address labels, because one can make sure that his or her design is unique.

It is very easy to order the customized address labels online. By visiting a website that offers this service, one can already choose the design he or she wants to have. There are also readymade templates for people who have a hard time deciding, or do not have the time to look at all the designs. After choosing the design, the order is finalized. The customer then pays for the sticker labels (they are pretty cheap, by the way). The customer will then have to wait until the address labels are delivered to his or her doorstep.

Another option to have address labels made is to buy a computer software for making address labels at home. There are already pre-programmed designs in the software, so all one has to do is play with the designs. One can let his or her creativity run wild by coming up with address labels at home.
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Find more information and tips about address label by visiting Address Labels

The delivery of the message is key. As in ANY REPUTABLE BUSINESS, the first message received by one person sets the tone for the exchange. In most cases, the HOA sends a very strong letter to the homeowner, who in most cases are not even aware there is an issue until they get the letter from the HOA. Instead of a friendly reminder, they immediately go on the "attack" and threaten litigation, liens and sometimes foreclosure! They have WAY too much power. They are unregulated, there is way too much EGO involved.

As in many communities, it’s all about who you know. I usually "farm" or market the community that I live in heavily. The members of the HOA are constantly getting my "Just Listed" and my "Just Sold" postcards. I know it must irritate many of them. But it always seems that top Realtors are targets of the HOA. The more outspoken you become of their negative tactics, the more "hate letters" you will receive.

My next door neighbor cuts his own grass and maintains his own yard. The is a M.D. so his time is limited. His yard shows it. The grass gets very high, the bugs eat sections of his yard, he never edges the common areas. He SHOULD be getting letters weekly. He does not. Has never received one as far as I know. I purchased one of the biggest eyesores in the community. I had the home professionally renovated and updated. My yard is cut by the finest landscape company in Tampa Bay (Rusty’s Lawn 813-404-1114). I try to make certain my home is better maintained than all my neighbors because of my "target" status. I still get letters more often than I can open my mailbox! It’s like an HOA member’s wife kicks his ass for not taking out the trash, he goes to the office and his boss kicks his ass for doing a poor job. He gets mad, comes home and wants to get the HOA to kick somebody’s ass in the community so they can feel better. Why else would they do the job (unpaid?). NOT because they care about the community or their neighbors, because if they did, they would use better bedside manor to deliver their message. They deliver the message with too much Mojo, Macho authority in my opinion.

The problem is, they create more problems than they solve. Potentials Buyers get wind of these cantankerous Associations and avoid these communities. They hear that a community dues check was lost, or the property owner forgot to pay that month for whatever reason. They get a foreclosure threat by the association’s attorney. Again, those attorneys’s LOVE those HOA’s because they get instructions to send the hate mail to property owners and THEY GET PAID! And guess who pays them? You guessed it, the property owners!

So who is a fault? Those HOA mamebers usually go up for re-election on a yearly basis. The problem is, the most capable, knowledgeable individuals available, don’t want the job (who wants the unpaid position). Nobody good wants the job! I for one would rather keep fielding the letters and washing the one inch speck of discoloration off my mailbox. Who gets burned the most for their immature actions? The homeowners in that community because their homes become more difficult to sell.

When I get a Buyer who calls my office and says "don’t show me any homes in subdivisions that have an HOA", I completely understand. That needs to change. It seems like the IRS is teaching the class on bedside manor and the biggest client they have is your HOA!

I just wanted to say hello and 'thank you' for the biscuits and kueh you got for me on my last couple of visits to see K. But I'd also like to say an even bigger 'thank you' for having such a wonderful daughter!

I have never flown overseas to date someone before, and I know it must seem strange and perhaps worrying to you for some stranger to fly in and spend so much time with your daughter - but the reason I keep coming back to spend time with K is because she is a very special person for me. When I am apart from her here I miss her very much (and I think she also misses me!)

I live alone, and have been hoping to meet the right person since I separated - and now I think that K is the person I've been waiting for. In fact, I think she is the person I have been waiting all my life for.. and it makes me smile to think that the right person for me was born on the other side of the world from where I was born.

Even though we have different backgrounds, I can recognize is K the person that I've always wanted to meet - sensitive, interesting, unusual, funny, young, smart, and she has such a lovely smile - I've fallen in love with her beautiful big teeth

So I hope you can see that I'm sincere when I say that I'm looking forward to K being a permanent part of my life, and promise to take good care of her when she comes to live with me here. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and the rest of your family on Sunday - and I'm excited about spending the future getting to know K better every day, and for her to get to know me better every day as well.

So finally... I hope you'll let me look after K this weekend as well. Can K come over and stay with me from Friday? We have so little time together, and so many things we want to say and do together - that I promise to keep her safe and happy, if she can spend the rest of the weekend with me.

Thanks and give K kiss from me
-J-

No one listen. Newspaper perhaps will claim this as too technical, said my boss. Yes, finally I went to him, and he didn't like it. Dato' Bakar was fine, he wanted me to do detail research on this. But, who am I to bring this issue up? No budget, no research after all.

I wanted it to be published in our buletin. See how it goes. Already submitted it to the committee. Tengoklah nanti macam mana. But my boss again already warned me saying that it's MORE NOT SUITABLE.

Fine. Great, I have my blog to publish this. Suka hati akulah blog aku kan... Apa pun aku boleh post. Again: This is my blog!

Here is the article. After the grammar correction by "someone". Who the angel is, nantilah aku dedahkan. Pastinya bukan sekarang.

"I refer to the Jun 26 statement in The Star concerning the postponement of the 3 day free storage time in Port Klang to 1 Jan 2009.

As a Malaysian, I am concerned about the matter, especially when the implementation of the free storage time at local ports will affect important commodities particularly rice.

Currently the free storage time at port is 5 days, and was reduced from 7 days on July 1, 2004. It was scheduled to be shortened to 3 days on Jan this year but this was postponed to July 1^st. Finally the new date has been set for January 1, 2009. Even though there has been a delay it appears that this coming policy however will still come into place and cannot be avoided.

The implementation will make our ports more competitive at least regionally. Singapore for example has already implemented the 3-day free storage time at their port before 2004.

Still in my opinion, the implementation of 3-day free storage time at port only can be implemented after a proper study is carried out. Bear in mind that for certain commodities, there are many procedures to follow and time is consumed.  One such commodity is rice.

There are many procedures involved in importing any agriculture products. And this is behind the reason for practicing 22-hour duty for Plant Quarantine Division under Agriculture Department. This division needs to carry out physical inspection, laboratory analysis, fumigate necessary imports, and many more to ensure that no uninvited “guests” are allowed to enter our country.

Failure to do so means that the government has to spend thousands if not millions to repair the damage caused by the uninvited “guests” such as the Beat Armyworm, Citrus Greening, Papaya Ringspot Virus, South American Leaf Blight (SALB), Red Ring and many more. Simply put, if the Plant Quarantine Division, Department of Agriculture missed looking at the imports and does not take any actions accordingly, these pest will have the opportunity to enter, live, breed and could possibly damaged our agriculture sector.

The same goes for our imported rice. There are many possibilities of bringing pests with it. The problem occurs as the fumigation using Methybromide carried at the country of origin, just before the rice is loaded into the ships becomes effective only after a minimum of 48 hours before the exporting country can release the Certificate of Phytosanitary.

As we know, Malaysia imports 60% rice of its rice from Thailand through Port Klang. Consider that the journey takes only 2.5 to 3.0 days. In this case, the certificate can only be sent by courier after the maturity period of the Methylbromide. Sometimes it takes more than 2 days if there are public holidays and festivities. As such, would a 3-day storage time at local port be enough for this commodity?

At the same time, we are lacking gantry crane and rubber tyred gantry (RTG) compared to Singapore for certain commodities which arrive at Port Klang in big amounts. Imagine when, at 1 time BERNAS imports rice in large number, reaching 4000 tonne. That means, for rice itself the number of container arriving can reach up to 200 containers. Port handles others commodities as well and as a result, not many containers belonging to BERNAS can be freed within 3-days. This extra-time will cause extra expenses and cost for BERNAS such as demurrage cost, storage cost, detention cost, removal charger cost and many more, caused by the delay. At the end of the day, the cost will be passed to the consumers.

It would be acceptable if the implementation of 3-day free time at port only affect less necessary commodities such as timber, drugs/medicine, electronic parts, and textiles and so on, but with the current economic situation should we Malaysian pay additional price for rice because of this implementation?

I would like to suggest that the authorities consider different scheme for different commodities in implementation of free storage time at port. Port Klang Authority should not only look at penalizing any party who failed to meet the new SOP or the January 1 2009 target, but to identify other process limitation and physical constraints as well. Perhaps, more study should be carried out to identify other commodities which are more important than or as important as rice. Probably there are other important commodities, but I can only see the implication of the implementation to rice since everyone in the country is affected by it".

Notes: I was asked to write about Malaysia current issues (a lot now such as politic, Anwar, petrol, etc) if I really want to be appeared in the letter column. Question here is, "Aku ni mabuk nama sangat ker sampai nak merapu dalam newspaper?".

ZMJ @ KL

To dear liza and lakshmy,..

Since all (2) of you have expressed your displeasure on not being responded to promptly, I have decided to take the plunge and write a mail that will leave a mark on your …hmm..let us say..inbox. The reason why I didn't reply earlier was because after 2 days of 'normal' life, I knew something bad was in store for me. And something bad for me always results in a good story for my dearest friends. Hence I decided to kill time without writing a mail.

So let me tell you today's day. How nice and surprising and extremely different it was.

1. I woke up at 7 a.m.
2. I took bath
3. I took head bath.
4. I took head bath within 30 min of getting up
5. I opened the Puja room's door
6. I prayed
7. I applied chandanam
8. I put..wait for it.. not one..but three bindi
9. I didn't roam about with the hair under the towel
10. I combed my hair

and now for the final straw..

1. I wore a pat paavada…!!!

Following the saying 'when you are in Rome be a roman', my relatives changed it, to my discomfort, into 'when you are in kerala, be a mallu .. sry .. be a proper mallu'.

Had it been 'just' a mallu, I would have been self satisfied with my malluness which basically included speaking Malayalam and traveling by kerala private bus because only a mallu can come alive from the inside of the private buses that thrive here.

But this wasn't enough for my 'good human beings'. They wanted me to be a proper mallu. And this included doing something, which I haven't ever done in my life. Eg the points mentioned above.

Now since all of you would want a look at my mallu side, I have attached it with this mail.

I am thinking of putting this as a blog, though I don't think so it matters much whether it's a mail or a blog because both ways I just have 2 readers.

Thank you dear friends, informally .. and

.. thank you dear readers, formally.:)

Oh by the way Samhita did reply to my mail, but the reply was so life threatening that I deleted it immediately. If by any chance I do end up bringing a sudden halt to my life, (a non heart wrenching way of saying 'suicide'.. so much i care for your feelings *sniff*)and the CBI detectives scan my emails, I don't want poor Samhita to be arrested for abetting my suicide no matter how hard she might have tried do so. See, I am a very nice person. i don't want them to suffer when I am not there. It should happen in my presence and that is what I am going to do this semester.

Sigh! I never make sense. The day I make sense, I bet you will start exploring the possibility of a 'twin' Rachana.

Okay. My life isn't that cruel. I went, as I have already mentioned, to my aunt's place where I slept for 13 hrs on Saturday and Sunday, went without taking bath on Sunday, went to theatre on the same day, and the darkest point of the same day-watched love story 2050 whose sad story will be another blog. Yup, these way the normal days of my life.

Today I tried reasoning 'y my voice in videos turn out to be bad'.

For this, I experimented with my cousin's mobile as well as my mobile, tryinh to figure out whether it was my bad voice or the bad recorder that was the culprit. The result says theres a tie between both of them. Maybe baoth – the bad voice as well as bad recorder results in the 'worst voice evr heard' in the videos.

My dream of becoming a singer is no longer going to see the light of the day.

I agree I enevr had the aim of becoming a singer initially, but when liza made me understand the difference between pitch and volume, there was a ray of hope instilled In me. Now even that ray is gone.

Anyways since it's a tie, I am waiting for a better camera to be invented so that I can look back and say "ah! That was a stupid camera (Sony 7 mega pixel digital cam) which undermined my wonderful voice"

Btw I have introduced you people very nicely to my relatives. Here's what they know about you

LakshmY- a very good friend who has as many 'good' habits as ammu has.

Shruti – The only girl, who attends lecture, makes notes for everyone in ammu's corridor and wakes them up from their sleep.

Liza- the only mallu other than ammu who can't speak Malayalam properly.

Samhita – had she been a mallu Brahmin, she would have been already married since mallu grooms are on the lookout of

1. young girls

2. who can be a proper house wife.

all 4 together- a special kind/breed of humans who haven't seen a pond in their life.

trust me, the way I have described you all, I have started getting the feeling that along with me even you are also out of the human race.

because when I asked my grandmom to come to goa for few days, she said I would rather spend those days with humans.

I'm sorry…:(

couldn't hide the facts .. you know….

I'have always bee truthful. so much that when I went to my aunt's place I told her frankly

"aunty, I have come to ur place 40% out of the desire to see you and 60% out of the urge to sleep and not take bath."

You must have heard so much about my broken malayalm (butler Malayalam..that's what they say here..dunno why..maybe butlers were non mallu..ahh..so that means if I settle in kerala, I can atleast be a butler..the other option was construction workers since they basically comprise biharis)

So few examples

For achuthananda's kristobhavam (achuthananda's love for Christ), I said achuthananda's kasturba bhavam( achuthananda's love for mr/misss kasturbha)

For endupatti (what happened), I said marrapatti(big rat)

And (to the bus conductor) for cherikkil( name of a place), I said cherrakil(place where people shave)!!!..mind you there's just a change in the way r is pronounced..that's y..

And all this is going to be the source of entertainment during the get together.. my uncle says.. booh..booh

:(

Few weird things I have heard over here,

1. to speak Malayalam, you should use tongue cleaner daily!!..

if this is the way they advertise tongue cleaners, well then I think the advertising firms are in dire need of highly skilled, intelligent, not so out of the box thinkers as employees.

Though this was told to me by my aunt when Instead of asking them to knead, I said bark. The malayalam words just differ in the way a 'r' in the word is pronounced.

1. in order to pluck leaves, you should remain hungry for 1 week.

The whole poit of the statement was in order to pluck the leaves from the tender stem without plucking the stem simultaneously, we shouldn't use strength. Hence its better we don't eat anything.!!

but still, when you hear these without any prior justification, even you will end up staring at the speaker's face till the person concerned takes the pain of explaining the hidden meaning.

I went to another of my aunt's place today. There I was advised not to open my mouth since the twin sisters there, though aged just 5, are supposed to be extremely smart when it comes to pulling one's leg. So I sat there, for full 1 hour, trying to decipher whether the twins were identical or not. I know I could have asked their mother, but u see, u seem to have forgotten that I was not supposed to open my mouth.

oh i also tried my hand at plucking mangoes, but the stick to be used was so long that if i succeeded in lifting one side, the other end used to come down with a thud.

we are having a cousins get together this Saturday, which I fear the most.

the reason being, as a initiative to invite everyone of my cousin for this get together, I wrote a long mail giving due importance to each and every stupidity , everyone f my cousin could have committed. and as usual I forgot to mention my mistakes, which would have maximum occupied 1 line.

so now I am on one side facing the wrath of 11 of my cousins..

:(

I bet that day, I will have loads to write.

that's all for now…

I want to watch jaane tu ya jaane na..

anyone ready for that???

P.S: the twins are identical…

don't act as if u don' care..i know u did…

P.S again:

Romita doesn't like long mails..

I'm hurt .. the only thing I can do, apart from sleeping, is writing long mails and now I come to know there aren't anyone to appreciate it!!

and oh ..Samhita is not jobless or bored. in fact she said "I am loving the life of no responsibility"

my doubt: what responsibility she had in goa???

I mean .. she always held me responsible for anything that went wrong in her room as well as her life.. So I should be the one with no responsibility now..na..

I end this letter with this thought provoking statement.

Yours truly,

Ammu

aka

Rachana….