For example, Bloke McBloke, a 25-year old bloke in Bloke Street, said, "She comes across as elegant, sensual, sophisticated, posh-in-a-nice-way, with a cut-glass voice that is sexy and suggestive. What more could anyone want?"

Indeed.

And what about this great video on youtube by 'madmaggiefell' for all you Sapphire and Steel fans out there?

By the way, he's not really dead, so don't worry. Not yet anyway.

Who can replace him? I don't know. I fell in love with him in Casanova, but despite what I thought at the time, he wasn't quite as completely brillianter than Christopher Ecclestone as I thought he would be. And series four has been quite a disappointment.

However, I really want to know who's going to be the next doctor. It could be a case of long live David Tennant. Maybe he'll just wear prosthetics or something. But I've search the infinite truth of the internet, and come up with a shortlist of possible Doctors:

• Eddie Izzard - this would be quite amazing, especially because he's done nothing in years
• Jennifer Saunders - she'd be good, but the Ab Fab line sparked the thought of how good Joanna Lumley would be (I think she may have made a spoof appearance once)
• James Nesbitt - one of the best actors in the world, and this is quite a strong rumour particularly because he was in Steven Moffat's Jekyll last year, who is the new showrunner
• Julian Walsh - some guy I've never heard of, and I think rumours were completely unfounded

I'd love Eddie Izzard, thankyou. James Nesbitt is a great actor, but for some reason I don't think he'll fit. I'll give anyone a chance, as long as it's not Daniel Radcliffe.

Maybe Richard Dawkins could take the part after his wonderful cameo appearance: the best acting I've ever seen.

I expect most of them cry a lot and spent five trillion pounds on an eco holiday which involves them squatting on top of a tall pole with a pair of binoculars watching the natives raze the flora and fauna to the ground to put up Barratt homes with satellite television and hot and cold running McDonald's cattle farms.  In the midst of all this carnage, somewhere, in a teeny, weeny, pocket handkerchief sized bit that's miles away from encroaching civilisation are Ray Mears, David Bellamy, David Attenborough and Joanna Lumley with television crews, tripping over each other's cabling and trying to pretend that they're the only ones in the forest for hundreds of miles around.  I bet a load of bitch slapping goes on.  That and stealing each other's biltong. 

My money's on Joanna Lumley in a fight.  I've always been very impressed that she managed to make herself a pair of slippers from a bra in the dark on a desert island.  I expect she went to Roedean.  I hear that making shoes out of your own bra is one of the extras that daddy can pay for along with stripping down an engine without getting grease on your tiara and learning how to make a shit hot Pimms and lemonade (cucumber is the secret ingredient apparently).  I went to a standard high school where they taught you how to skive off from double history by going down the park and how to eat four tea cakes in one go without choking to death.  No wonder the education system is in tatters.

Jason is fending off flung baked beans downstairs, which acrobatics are known in other people's houses as tea time.  I am upstairs 'running the bath', which means turning the hot tap on, flinging some lavender oil in, and scarpering to come and sit here in peace for a few minutes whilst being delighted that I am out of the range of bean juice myself.  Even though he's had a hard day at work he didn't have to survive Oscar trying to put masticated shreddies down his vest with a cold teaspoon or listening to Tallulah giving a half hour lecture on the advantages of the Sontarans vs. the Daleks, complete with diagrams and a rather excellent picture of the Tardis at bay.  This is why I am up here and he is down there.  If I hear the word Sontaran again today I may actually rend my hair and weep.

Tallulah's revived interest in Doctor Who is beneficial only in that it is taking her mind off of counting her money.  As we are all interested in Doctor Who, except Oscar who has to go to bed before it starts, it is not too much of a hardship, and at least we know what she is talking about most of the time.  She is particularly excited at the moment because Rose (A.K.A Billy Piper) has suddenly reappeared.  Tallulah has a massive crush on Rose.  She has newspaper clippings of Billy Piper's recent wedding which she keeps safe in a special plastic bag, and has memorised everything that Rose/Billy has ever done in a Doctor Who context.  She even has a Rose action figure.  It is a rubbish action figure, as all it does is crouch in a small plastic way with its arms akimbo, looking rather like it needs a pooh, but she loves it anyway. 

When Rose left at the end of the second series I thought we might have to take Tallulah for counselling.  Now that Rose is back it is a mixed blessing.  I think she's only going to be in one more epsiode and the series finishes, and then she's coming back next year but only for four episodes, and that is a whole year away.  A whole year is a long time in a small girl's life, and Tallulah has a peculiar approach to time at the best of times. At the weekend she asked me if she would be six next year.  I confirmed that she would indeed.  She asked if she would be having a party next year.  I said it depended.  She said rather thoughtfully: 'Yes, 'acos I spose you might be dead by then, what with being old and everything.'  I said it was more likely that she would be dead from being a bloody nuisance.  She laughed gaily and skipped away clearly thinking: 'You fool! You, who are old and near to death, while I, I am young and full of life and immortally indestructible. Mwah hah hah haaaah!'  Later on she asked me who would look after her and Tilly and Oscar if Jason and I were to have a horrible bus accident and die together.  It was not in a sad, mournful tone of voice, rather a cheery, practical, a girl has got to make plans sort of voice.  I told her that Aunty Rachel and Uncle Chris would be in charge, at which she looked positively gleeful.  I am now checking the whole house for traps.  Tallulah loves Aunty Rachel quite a lot and can probably see many positives in becoming an orphan which weren't previously apparent to her.  I expect it's her that's given me chiggers.

A Inglaterra é pródiga em bons comediantes. Que o digam Monty Python e seus inúmeros sucessos na tevê e no cinema, os quais formaram um legião de seguidores - inclusive no Brasil.

A série Absolutely Fabulous surgiu bem depois (no início da década de 90) e, se não conquistou a tela grande como seus antecessores, deixou sua marca e virou referência cult em boa parte do planeta.

Ab Fab, para os íntimos, girava em torno de duas personagens deliciosas, de tão surreais: Edwina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders), uma decoradora de interiores atrapalhada e consumista e Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley), uma editora de moda alcoólatra e pedante.

Melhores amigas? Desde sempre. Traços em comum? Todos: o humor ácido, os venenos contra o mundo da moda, os vícios, o desprezo por todos (inclusive pela própria filha de Edwina!!), as orgias sexuais do passado, as drogas, as compras, as manias, os inimigos, as gafes com as celebridades, os barracos, enfim!

Poucas séries de tevê puderam se dar ao luxo de irem tão fundo no sentido denotativo da expressão "politicamente incorreto".

Lá se vão onze anos desde que a conheci pelo canal Eurochannel nas noites de terça-feira, mas Patsy continua a mesma: com uma garrafa de vodca na mão e um cigarro na outra, com seus figurinos da Harrod's e seu penteado a la Ivana Trump. E hoje a loira faz aniversário. A idade? Bom, Patsy Stone conhece os segredos de todos e como eu não tenho um passado tão imaculado quanto o de uma Grazi Massafera da vida, é melhor não mexer com ela, não é?

Well today we celebrate the naming of Pluto, that planet up in the sky was originally named on May 1^st 1930.   For that reason alone it’s time to crack open the bubbly, but wait there’s more.   Joanna Lumley was born on May 1^st 19*6, I’m sorry that was 19*6, who put a bleep in this blog??

Joanne Lumley played the fabulous Patsy Stone in Absolutely Fabulous and I’ve got a little montage here for you.

So here are some champagne cocktails for Pluto and Patsy, “cheers dahling”

CC Bellini

3 shots Champagne

1 shot vodka

1 shot Chambord

Pour the chilled Champagne into a cocktail glass.   Pour the vodka and Chambord into a shaker with ice and shake.   Strain into the glass on top of the Champagne.   Delicious!

The Ritz Cocktail

1 ½ shots Cognac

½ shot triple sec

¼ shot fresh lemon juice

¼ shot maraschino liqueur

Champagne

Place the cognac, triple sec, lemon juice and maraschino liqueur into a shake with ice and shake well.   Strain into a cocktail glass and top up with chilled Champagne.

So take your Champagne Cocktails and watch AbFab for a good laugh this Mayday.

 
<img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=louscoc-
 

Have Fun!

I think it was Sartre who said: "You've got to be philosophical about it." Well, I was trying my best last night at the TV BAFTAs after Big Art Mob lost out to Spooks in the Interactivity category. I tried to put on my least bitter look, so more mandarin than lemon but not really peachy.

That said, I had an enjoyable enough evening. Besides my co-nominees (Alfie Dennen of Moblog and Clifford Singer of Edition, who showed an admirably rigid upper lip) at my table was the dapper Peter Kosminsky, writer and director of Britz (for Channel 4), which caused the biggest upset of the night by stealing the Drama Serial category from hot favourite Cranford. He gave a lovely acceptance speech acknowledging his late father, an aspiring writer who never achieved recognition. Accompanying Peter was his wife Helen who works for Artichoke, the outfit behind The Sultan's Elephant - which I had the great pleasure of stumbling on by accident as I left a meeting at the ICA, one of those unexpected pleasures which make life worth living.

The two leads from Britz were also at our table, Riz Ahmed and Manjinder Virk, the former filling us in on his non-acting activities as Riz MC - I've just downloaded a track (The Post 9/11 Blues) and it's a jolly little choon with a nice twist of politics. Talking of twist, he told an illuminating story about coming back from the Berlin film festival (where Britz won the Silver Bear) and being detained and roughed up by British immigration when he reacted with incredulity to their bizarre full-on questioning as he arrived home-sour-home.

Among our number was also a trio of filmfolk - David Aukin, formerly head of FilmFour (in the Trainspotting era) who told us a bit about his new movie that kicked off production yesterday starring the marvelous William Hurt (The Big Chill, Altered States, Smoke); Rebecca O'Brien, Ken Loach's long-time producer; and Kierston Wareing, up for best actress for It's a Free World (not bitter either), who was sitting on the other side of a large clump of decorative foliage from me so never had the pleasure of engaging with her beyond admiring her LBD+ (second only to Joanna Lumley's flowing tangerine Grecian number).

Otherwise caught up with Ben Miller (of Miller and Armstrong) who co-wrote MindGym with Tim Wright and me. The best thing about working with him was that he insisted on performing the stuff he wrote before he would hand it over. He was also being philosophical about things having lost out in the Comedy category to C4's Phonejacker.

Another philosopher was Matthew MacFadyen who, having missed out on Best Actor (in his role in Secret Life) to Andrew Garfield (Boy A), confirmed it's all a pile of crap (the classic default position until you triumph), backed up by his Mrs Keeley Hawes who confirmed it's all down to who's in the room the day they do the judging (the back-up default position).

Other highlights of the evening included having a piss beside the Top Gear boyz Richard Hammond and James May which impressed the Enfants Terribles no-end (they're Dave addicts); getting picked up from my gaff by a chauffeur-driven posh Audi (driven by an off-duty road cop from Northampton) - I took as long as I could decently do getting from the front door to the car for maximum neighbour-exposure; meeting various Skinsfolk including Tony and the late Chris; and spotting a psycho-stalker-autographhunter (complete with two cameras round his neck, the cover of an Emmerdale video among his equipment, and seriously deranged teeth) as we went into the Grosvenor bash, who, together with the red carpet experience before the Palladium show, made you happy not to live the celeb life-style and truly content with the Simple Pleasures.

• Gordon Brown's photo opportunity at Downing Street with the Olympic Torch carries implicit endorsement of the Chinese crackdown in TIbet. Even the selection of the torchbearers, you could see had been determined according to PC'ism. The choice of a disabled torchbearer made the photo opportunity seem even more cynical than usual.
• The sight of our own policemen being used as political enforcers. You only have to look at the shameful pictures of one distraught tibetan woman being hauled to the ground by several police officers to realise that we now live in a police state - just as much as the Tibetans do. Anyone watching that incident will have noted the very real distress on the woman's face and the impassive patience of her son, waiting quietly while the police manhandled her - he was obviously innured to police brutality... No one planning a disturbance of the peace, takes their children along with them... I wonder if the police felt they were paid enough for this?

The Olympics were supposed to be above all that. Did we learn nothing from Jesse Owens?

As the torch progressed, the number of Chinese security athletes with strange pouches seemed to be ever increasing.... as did the numbers of police.

The BBC coverage was carefully chosen and worded. The change of the route was noticeable in the suddenly quiet streets surrounding the torch party - something not mentioned by the BBC. It was later presented as a change of venue for the Chinese ambassador who, on the spur of the moment, chose to run through Chinatown instead of Bloomsbury. The BBC commentator first of all said that he couldn't see what was happening there and then moments later, stated that he could only see pro-Chinese flags. In Trafalgar Square also, the commentators stated there were no protestors and the camera stayed determinedly on the pro-Chinese crowd (and the man in headphones orchestrating them), only later panning over to two people bearing Tibetan flags who were on the fountains - something even the BBC couldn't ignore. The BBC regained some credibility when the anchor man alluded to the carefully chosen stage at Downing Street and the photo opportunity taken by Gordon Brown of being snapped alongside children and disabled people. The police seemed determine to play the whole thing down as did Tessa Jowell who was obviously on a different planet to the rest of us.

Shame on you Gordon Brown for bringing our country to such a disgraceful position. You have some strange friends.... Sarkozy and the Polish Prime Minister have managed to do the decent thing, why can't you? It is no good using the 2012 Olympics as an excuse - the recent survey showed that Londoners realise what a pile of poop it's going to be. Gordon Brown, for I cannot call him Prime Minister without choking, seems to be more preoccupied with brown-nosing the Chinese and deciding what clothing people ought to wear than dealing with the very real economic threats to our own country. Crowds and protest of this level have not been seen in the UK since the Poll Tax riots. Gordon Brown should sit up and take note. Three cheers for Kate Hoey for telling it like it is and pointing out the obvious - that the pro-Chinese flag wavers were all.... Chinese. They were not composed of the mix of ordinary people that were the Free Tibet protestors. No doubt all this will be lost in the carefully selected footage that is shown by the Chinese.

They may manage to control the holding of the torch to some degree, but ideas can never be imprisoned. Gordon strives desperately to convince us that he is a statesman and a fit leader of our nation. Today's events demonstrate absolutely why he will never succeed in those aims and why future generations will revile him. Gordon Brown will never achieve the love and respect in which the Dalai Lama and all he stands for is held in. Gordon Brown made a bad decision today and will have to live with it. He is now the puppet of the Chinese, as Blair was of Bush, and when the master says "Bark", Gordon will find he will have to bark. Gordon should remember he reflects the concensus of the people that he serves - not rules. The people have spoken and as Joanna Lumley put it rather eloquently - "there is a great darkness in China". The pictures of the chaos and brutality today on the streets of Britain will reinforce the image of Gordon look the incompetent tyrant he is and demonstrate clearly that there is a darkness in the UK too - emanating from Whitehall.

The repression of Tibet - a country that has harmed no one - is a sore on humanity. It is an absolute disgrace that Gordon Brown has chosen to ally the government of this country, with this. Well done Nick Clegg for condemning that. Well done Kate Hoey for standing up to Gordon and his bully men. It took 30 years to change South Africa, it may well take another 30 to change the atrocities in Tibet. But the stain on the reputation of Gordon Brown will never wash out. Even Ken Livingstone, our inebriate London Mayor, and a shrewd political operator, knows this is a poison chalice and has been conspicuous by his absence.

Free Tibet! Free the UK!

Julia Sawalha (Saffron in Ab Fab) played a character called Freda Keill who was also an actress, albeit much more successful than Vivienne and Jackie.

Mirrorball only ever aired as a pilot episode, and was criticised as being too similar to the original.  The question was raised as to why Saunders didn't just work on another series of the original Absolutely Fabulous, rather than this new show which shared a few too many similarities only under a different name.

The similarity between Mirrorball and Absolutely Fabulous ultimately led to confusion amongst the viewers.

The failure of Mirrorball is what lead to the creation of the 5th season of Absolutely Fabulous, where Saunders and Lumley once again filled the roles they did best.

To see the entire pilot episode of Mirrorball, follow these links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkMnbcLiy-s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Oxdki0Y-Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YRibSzKoSw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM6I6Ij4g2w

Absolutely Fabulous is a comedy about two best friends in their 40s.  Despite their age, Edina and Patsy are about as immature as one can get.  Eddy and Patsy spend the majority of their time either drunk or hungover, while driving Eddy's sensible teenage daughter, Saffron, round the bend.

The show stars Jennifer Saunders as Eddy, Joanna Lumley as Patsy, Julia Sawahla as Saffron, and Jane Horrocks as Bubble.

The show which was written by Jennifer Saunders herself (who plays Eddy), aired for 5 seasons between 1992 and 2005.

Ab Fab focuses on Eddy and Patsy and their obvious inability to cope with the world, and act their age.

The show also features Bubble (Jane Horrocks) who takes on the role of Eddy's ditzy PA, who is just as clueless as Eddy and Patsy are portrayed to be.
This video sums up Bubble perfectly:

It's time the world knew about Edina of Absolutely Fabulous fame. Here, despite her assistant Bubble's fumblings, Eddie exhibits her skill in crisis communications and convinces singer Lulu to stay on as her client.

[PMT = premenstrual tension = PMS]

Eddie, played by Jennifer Saunders, owns her own PR agency in London, UK. She specializes in celebrity and fashion publicity. She has a love for modern art, is obsessed with getting old and despises her daughter, Saffie, who is the complete opposite of her and is the real mother in this relationship. Eddie is the epitome of what not to do in this business. But you love her anyway!

Her BFF Patsy Stone, played by the beautiful Joanna Lumley, is in the fashion business, editor or something like that and was a model in the 60s. You hardly ever see her working. Mostly she sponges off Eddie. No one knows for sure how old Patsy is -- she could be as young as 45 or as old as 60. She's a sot, a drug user, an insomniac, a nymphomaniac, and once was a guy.

The series profiles Eddie and Patsy's adventures under the influence of Bolle champagne, Stolli vodka and designer drugs. The show is a slanted and contraversial perspective of the PR world; however, Eddie's profession takes backstage to her flamboyant and unpredictable nature. In one way, she's a stereotype of a PR agent, but in another way she's a parody of human nature, an absurd example of the modern, affluent, working middle-aged woman.

If you've never caught an episode, you must! Absolutely Fabulous is a tablet in the world of Britcoms and a model that young comedians aspire to -- It's absolutely brilliant!

At the time of writing, since October 27, 2005, I have received 40,758 emails at my official email address, not to mention thousands if not tens of thousands at my unofficial ones on Yahoo, Gmail, Flickr, iPernity, and Hotmail.  I can be precise about the 40,758 figure because my SpamArrest account kindly counts each one for me.  It also tells me that only 4,231 (10%) are ones that I would want to receive.  It keeps the offers of penile enlargements (they don't work, a friend has told me), untold riches waiting in bank accounts (you could end up losing thousands), and myriads of 'chicks' (they're very expensive and always disappointing, apparently) hidden from my delicate eyes and inbox.

Nevertheless, I do receive a lot of legitimate email, and according to Karen Renaud, Judith Ramsay, and Mario Hair (researchers at Glasgow and Paisley Universities) I may need to be concerned.  Some people find the interactions around email stressful, and we all know what stress can do - everything from sleeplessness and diarrhea to increased blood-pressure and strokes.

I love email and cannot imagine going back to the prehistoric period in my long life when it didn't exist. (Yes, O young reader - such times did exist! You may struggle to believe this, but TV sets, calculators, and computers have not been there since the beginning of time.)  I love the freedom to compose at leisure without having to worry about the logic and accuracy of my speech.  I love the barrier of protection it gives me if I do not actually want to speak to the person I'm writing to. I love the convenience of not having to walk down the road to the postbox or of having to wait for the one delivery of mail a day.  In my book, email is a good thing.

But like the phone, email can be very invasive and disruptive.  People wanting to contact you could come to your door, but they could not enter your room unless you chose to let them in.  If they sent a letter, you knew that it would only arrive at approximately the same time each day.  You could leave it on the sideboard near the front door for days before deciding to open it.  Emails come right to the heart of your desk (and if you have a SmartPhone, right into your pocket wherever you are) without you having to do a thing.

I have written elsewhere about the potentially worrying invasion of technology.  Part of the some people's stress relating to email is to do with that invasion, be it at home or at work.  The researchers cited above report that "struggling to cope with a deluge of emails is leaving staff tired, frustrated, and unproductive."  34% of the sample of 200 people were stressed by the sheer number of emails that come in and the need for a reply.  For some, emails represent an unknown workload that has to be responded to.  Other people (the senders) are controlling the volume and pace of that workload, not us.  So, the having to respond to a mountain of emails is time-consuming and stressful, but not having contol over the size of that mountain is even more stressful.

The second source of stress that some people experience in relation to email is that they feel they have to have to check it often to see what might be there. In the early days of my online experience with AOL-UK, I could understand that.  What middle-aged man wouldn't constantly check his mail in the hope of just hearing Joanna Lumley's voice saying, "You've Got Mail"?  However, it seems that some people have become seriously addicted to checking in ways that are dysfunctional for them.  34% of the sample admitted to checking every 15 minutes.  Although 64% admitted to looking at their emails once an hour, monitoring software showed that some of them were looking up to 40 times an hour.  For some, email is like an itchy sore that has to be repeatedly scratched.

The wonder of anything new can lead us to becoming beguiled into being its servant.  Let's make sure that we keep stress at bay by taking back control of the technology and using it to serve us - which is what it will do so well, if we make it so.

9.00, Saira Khan's Pakistan Adventure, BBC2
NEW The Beeb's India and Pakistan season continues as Saira embarks on a 3,000-mile journey of discovery, finding out what day-to-day life is like for Pakistanis and what makes the country tick.

10.00, Sensitive Skin, BBC2
SERIES FINALE The sublime comedy draws to a close as Joanna Lumley’s widow Davina faces more personal tragedy and, surrounded by family and friends demanding her attention, is finally forced to face up to her own needs.

In the mood for a classic movie?
9.00, Postcards from the Edge, Five, Tears and laughter with Meryl and Shirl.
9.00, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sky Two, Matthew Broderick skips school in style.
10.00, Don’t Look Back, More4, Bob Dylan sets a rockumentary standard on his 1965 tour of the UK.

Instantly my nose was filled with the lofty fumes of urea and disinfectant, it was utterly revolting. I could see clearly from one side of the bar to the other and the place was half full of sanctimonious old cunts slowly eating burgers with cutlery, an air of imperious victory rested over them like their vast napkins. These people hadn’t been to a fucking pub since Mr. Hitler turned up his toes.

Frank and I went to the back of the bar, both of us automatically scanning for ashtrays, both realising there was no point and sitting down confused with our Welton’s. Already a succession of, frankly, unwell looking gentlemen were passing us to gain access to the beer garden where the landlord had kindly set out umbrellas and tables for the crushed smoking community. Frank intended to hold out for a cigarette, I decided to wait until I’d downed the pint before having one, forcing Frank to do the same. We were both drinking faster than usual.

After 3 pints and 5 fags we headed off. It was odd, it didn’t feel as if we’d actually had our usual pint, felt more like an encounter in a branch of Little Chef. To make the matters worse the heaven’s opened and I actually got soaked to the skin on the way back home. Balls.

As I’d had a booze free Sunday, and because I’d got soaked, AND because, I decided to have a wine. The fucking wine box on the fridge (a survivor from Glastonbury) has a dribble in it, I figured I do that and call it a day. I poured one and prepared a disappointing supper of breaded Pollack (hey, that rhymes with a rude, fucking tastes like it too) and broccoli with a mustard sauce (seasoned cucumber mayo on the side with paprika) following a hastily organised bath that was more of a follow-on from my earlier drenching.

Wine boxes are very strange things. Even when they’re lighter than one of Joanna Lumley’s guffs they still vomit forth gallons of produce. I was working on the ‘well, this is the last drop’ basis. I was working on this basis for most of the evening. It wasn’t a sensible basis on which to work.

I wanted to watch Die Hard 2 but because a bunch of fanatics had taken it upon themselves to set fire to a car and themselves (self-immolation is so 60’s don’t you think) they cancelled it. The fucking cunts! What possible justification have ITV got for cancelling a film because some wanker misread a book and told all his mates… I mean what if that was their goal? Not to disrupt the rail, road and airport infrastructure of the UK, but to get ITV to cancel Die Hard 2 because they don’t like how much balder Bruce Willis’ has got since the first film. It means they’ve won doesn’t it.

I got in work late today due to my fucking back. At some point last night I sneezed hard and felt a twang in my lower back, I was half expecting it to be bad today, so at least I didn’t disappoint myself.

8.00 Holby City BBC1 When Diane tries to quit, Eliott sends her to cool off in a remote cottage but, in a situation more like something from Casualty, as she drives off tragedy strikes.

10.00 My Name Is Earl Channel 4 NEW SERIES It’s back at last, and Earl’s still working his way through his list of things he needs to make amends for. Joy is at the centre of a madcap scheme in this episode, and when she says, “Do I look stupid enough to steal a truck with a man in the back of it?” you know what’s coming next...

10.00 The Graham Norton Show BBC2 Graham has the absolutely fabulous Joanna Lumley on tonight. She’s always good value!