For anyone traveling or living in Spokane, Washington and in need of some fine dining, check out the Italaian Kitchen on 113 N. Bernard St. Named as one of the top 17 Italian Restaurants in the nation by "Best of the Best," this is a quality restaurant with a family-friendly atmosphere.  I highly recommend the Tuscan Halibut with basil pesto.

To reserve seating, call (503) 363 -1210

For more information, visit the official website of the Italian Kitchen http://www.italiankitchenspokane.com/index.html

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.1421740&w=425&h=350&fv=]

The recipe I was using called for "toasting" Italian breadcrumbs in the oven.  This involved tossing a cup and a half of crumbs with around a fourth of a cup of olive oil and then spreading them out on a cookie sheet.  I put it in the oven at 425... and forgot about it until the smoke started billowing out from the oven door. Oops!  Unfortunately, I didn't have lots of extra Italian breadcrumbs for the second try, so I had to mix my remaining half cup with around a cup of Japanese Panko breadcrumbs (this was going to be a Japanese-Italian hybrid Milanese!). I began the toasting process again...

Meanwhile, I mixed pounded out chicken fillets to about half-inch thickness, using my meat tenderizer. Then, I dredged them in flour before dipping in egg. And the final step was coating them in the toasted breadcrumb mixture.

Instead of baking the chicken directly on a cookie sheet, as I have done in the past, I put a small wire rack on top of the sheet to hold the chicken. I think this proved to be the secret in producing a crispy, baked fillet. After about 12-15 minutes, I pulled the sheet out of the oven and the golden brown breasts looked amazing.

To top it off, I tossed a little spring mix with lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic powder. This lent a perfect tart and saltiness to the crunchy chicken.

But for a more superior entertaining video, watch it in Japan...

Spit out that gum. NOW.

Your textbook for today is one my my favorites, the enigmatically titled Italian Idioms. This was an extremely useful book once I mastered the basics and realized that, in English, I use idioms - a lot. I'll be rolling along in Italian and come to a screeching halt when I realize I have no idea how to say a certain idiom in Italian. I tend to be a bit verbose when I reach a point where I don't know the word I want. You've been warned.

I'll give you some choice idioms that have amused and/or helped me through the years.

English: bigwig
Italian: alto papavero
Literal meaning: high poppy
I first said: un capo con una parrucca grandissima
Literal meaning: a boss with a very large wig
I never remember idioms, so I say: uno VIP (pronounced VEEP)

English: by the way
Italian: fra parentesi
Literal meaning: between parentheses
I first said: vicino la via
Literal meaning: near the street
I never remember idioms, so I say: a proposito

English: my better half
Italian: la mia propria meta
Literal meaning: my exact half
I first said: una meta di me ma meglio
Literal meaning: one half of me but better
I never remember idioms, so I say: il mio boy

English: to rebel
Italian: alzare il capo
Literal meaning: to raise the head
I first said: il fa come James Dean nel film con Sal Mineo
Literal meaning: he does like James Dean in that film with Sal Mineo
I never remember idioms, so I say: molto James Dean

English: to fly off the handle
Italian: perdere la staffa
Literal meaning: to lose the stirrup
I first said: ha volato dalla cosa per la padella
Literal meaning: he flew from the thing for the pan
I never remember idioms, so I say: era incazzato nero

English: self-made man
Italian: venire su dal nulla
Literal translation: to come up from nothing
I first said: lui aveva niente ma adesso ha tutto e ha fatto tutto si stesso
Literal translation: he had nothing but now he has everything and he did everything himself
I never remember idioms, so I say: e' famoso

English: by the skin of my teeth
Italian: per il rotto della cuffia
Literal translation: for the broken of the headphone (I know, I don't believe it either)
I first said: della pelle sul miei denti
Literal translation: of the skin on my teeth
I never remember idioms, so I say: giusta-giust

(...) Nelle ultime settimane i più severi studiosi della penisola sono stati coinvolti nella faccenda delle palle del topo. Tutti gli utenti di computer sanno che il "mouse" è quell'aggeggio con il quale si trasmettono comandi al computer senza usare la tastiera, e che alla base del mouse vi è di solito un foro da cui spunta una pallina, che ruota a mano a mano che noi muoviamo il mouse. Ruota oggi e ruota domani, la pallina tende a sporcarsi, e talora diventa insensibile. Per il ché occorre estrarla dal mouse, pulirla, e poi rimetterla nella propria sede naturale.

Salvo che "mouse" in inglese significa topo, e se qualcuno volesse dire topo invece di mouse ecco che potrebbero venirne fuori una serie di istruzioni di questo genere:

«Se il vostro topo ha difficoltà a funzionare correttamente, o funziona a scatti, è possibile che esso abbia bisogno di una palla di ricambio. A causa della delicata natura della procedura di sostituzione delle palle, è sempre consigliabile che essa sia eseguita da personale esperto. Prima di procedere, determinate di che tipo di palle ha bisogno il vostro topo. Per fare ciò basta esaminare la sua parte inferiore. Le palle dei topi americani sono normalmente più grandi e più dure di quelle dei topi d'oltreoceano... La protezione delle palle dei topi d'oltreoceano può essere semplicemente fatta saltare via con un fermaglino, mentre sulla protezione delle palle dei topi americani deve essere prima esercitata una torsione in senso orario o antiorario... Si raccomanda al personale di portare costantemente con sé un paio di palle di riserva, così da garantire sempre la massima soddisfazione ai clienti».

Molto divertente, come si vede, e bene inventata. Salvo che questa istruzione, attribuita alla Ibm, è certamente falsa.

Essa arriva in e-mail preceduta dalla seguente spiegazione: «Il mouse si chiama in francese "souris", in spagnolo "raton", in tedesco "maus" e solo da noi, invece di "topo", "mouse". Gli americani della Ibm non lo sapevano e così hanno tradotto un loro manuale di istruzioni distribuito in tutte le filiali del mondo, tra cui quella italiana».

Il fatto è che la Ibm avrebbe potuto ignorare i risultati osceni della traduzione, solo se in inglese "mouse" non volesse ugualmente dire topo (l'aggeggio è stato chiamato così proprio perché ricorda la sagoma di un topino) e "ball" volesse dire solo palla o pallina e non anche, come da noi, testicolo. Quindi la Ibm non avrebbe scritto un testo inglese innocente che poi, tradotto in italiano, diventava malizioso, ma avrebbe scritto un testo maliziosissimo anche in inglese, il che non pare verosimile. Pertanto questa pseudo-traduzione è un falso.

Il bello è che chiunque se ne potrebbe accorgere ritraducendo all'indietro dall'italiano in inglese. A parte il fatto che la falsità del messaggio è dovuta al fatto che per sostituire eventualmente quella pallina non occorre affatto un esperto, ma può farlo anche un bambino. Ora, ammettiamo pure che molti dei dotti ritrasmettitori del messaggio si siano benissimo resi conto del trucco, e abbiamo fatto finta di nulla perché la cosa era in ogni caso divertente. Ma ecco che trovo la faccenda del topo diventata notizia sul numero di luglio del mensile "Focus", e la storia viene presentata come un tipico incidente di traduzione automatica. Quindi, o i redattori del giornale avevano mangiato la foglia, ma hanno presentato la notizia come vera (perché non l'hanno pubblicata nella rubrica delle barzellette, "Flash", bensì nella rubrica "Prisma Computer"), nel qual caso il loro comportamento non sarebbe stato giornalisticamente corretto, il che è impensabile; oppure l'hanno presa per buona, e l'hanno comunicata ai lettori in buona fede - così come in buona fede, suppongo, me l'hanno comunicata molti illustri colleghi (tranne quelli che l'hanno trasmessa avvertendo che forse si trattava di leggenda metropolitana, e altri noti per la loro mistica della malafede).

Perché mi soffermo su un incidente tutto sommato minore? Perché mi pare un sintomo del disagio in cui a Unione europea ormai avanzata, affrontiamo ancora la realtà della pluralità delle lingue e dei problemi della traduzione. [da Lo strano caso delle palle del topo, di Umberto Eco]

            Honestly, the menu struck me as a bit pricey for Italian food, but by the end of our meal we were both extremely satisfied with the value.  The Caesar salad was excellent and could have served two. The dressing was not overpowering and the croutons were crisp.  My wife ordered the Dante's haddock and I ordered the blackened salmon with strawberry salsa.  Each dish is served with fresh julienne vegetables and a starch of the day.  This day the starch was oven roasted potatoes which were mashed and pan fried with garlic, butter, and spinach.  My mouth begins to water as I write that sentence.

            The presentation of the entrees is pleasing on wide square plates which provide ample room for the each of the portions of the main dish to stand out.  The blackened salmon with strawberry salsa was delicious, however I couldn't help but wish it had a little more of a kick to it.  The haddock was in a word... extraordinary.  Generously covered in a buttery lobster sauce the haddock maintained a slightly seared exterior which complimented the creaminess of the sauce perfectly.  I had two bites from my wife's plate and I feel I will be craving it until I return to have a plate of my own.

            What was a very good meal became truly great with the finale of a homemade (yes, they make their deserts in house) baked tart with fresh fruit.  My first thought upon its arrival was "I wish I had a camera".  The tart steamed with aroma as only freshly baked puff pastry can do.  Upon a first bite my second thought was "I wish I had ordered a second one for myself".  It's a desert's true mission to make someone who is completely full feel like they have never eaten before.  The forks of my wife and I sparred more than once as we each sought another bite.

            My wife was transported back to the flavors of her childhood in her father's bakery.  A greater compliment I cannot imagine.  I would personally like to thank the staff at Dante's for a truly memorable meal!

	The Muffuletta (Round Sicillian bread, over stuffed with mortadella, provolone, smoked prosciutto & genoa salami, topped off with olive condite and our famous olive oil dressing!) - Nice huge sandwich filled with loads of meat and cheese. We loved the olive mixture on the bottom, gives the sandwich that extra ummph on it. The bread was nice as well especially the sesame seed give texture and flavor.
	Mushroom Pizza - A bit disappointing, one would have liked a few more mushrooms on top for the price of $3 per topping. The cheese though was of a high quality and the crust was thin. I really didn't think the crust was all that though the ride home might have something to do with it. The tomato sauce was subtle.
	Pizza Bianca (An old world specialty made with fresh garlic, olive oil, imported fontina cheese, spices and mozzarella.) - Very cheesy. The spices are a perfect blend to the the pizza. Again the crust could have used some work.

Decor: There are no real seats save for the outdoor patio seats. Place is really set up as a store on the right side while a deli line in the left side. Ordered by phone, everything seemed pretty normal.

Overall Assessment: ($, 4/10) - The pizzas are on the pricey side though these things were super huge. We couldn't even fit the box into our fridge. I guess if you base it on a per slice basis, it would be cheaper. I thought the pizzas were alright, nothing super great though the sandwich was very well done. We would perhaps come back for the subs, the pizzas, probably not. If based solely on the pizzas, the rating might be a 3 while the sub would be a 6.

Website: http://italianstore.com/
Location: 3123 Lee Hwy, 22201
Reservation: No
Takeout: 703.528.6266
Hours: Mon - Fri; 1000 - 2100, Sat; 1000 - 2000, Sun; 1100 - 1800

122 East 27th Street between Park Avenue South & Lexington

New York, NY 10016

212-481-7372

itrulli.com

I must confess, I live for NYC's winter and summer Restaurant Weeks.  What's more exciting that rounding up members of your posse and sampling fancy fare at a fraction of the cost?  Not much!  $35 gets you a prix fixe dinner: starter, entree, and dessert; $24.07 for lunch.  Feeling like you've swung a fab deal is always a happymaker. 

Batting first was dinner at i Trulli.  Stacy and I were offered the option of sitting outside or sitting inside.  Since the heat wasn't up to its usual oppressive self, we ended up outside.  The covered patio is actually very lovely.  If you don't look up, you can forget that you're in Manhattan.  We were seated by the small waterfall which was in front of the rare thing called greenery.  Ceiling fans kept air circulating.  i Trulli wasn't that crowded (we were dining on the early side), but it seemed to be filling up more when we were ready to roll.

I went with the Apulian bread salad with heirloom tomatoes, onion, and cucumber even though there was complimentary bread which came with a mystery spread.  Something white and whipped.  Stacy and I were stumped.  The bread salad could be characterized as strong, with the strong vinegar kick and strong taste of onions.  I liked it.  My entree was veal ravioli which was fine.  Last but certainly not least was my dessert: chocolate and toasted almond semifreddo with almond brittle.  This was hands down the best part of the meal.  A semifreddo is an Italian take on the ice cream cake.  It just sounds fancier in Italian.  The top chocolate pudding-like layer was fabulous.  I mopped the three layer cake in the chocolate drizzle on the plate: delightfully chocolately!  Can cake be an anti-depressant?  The semifreddo made all my troubles slip away temporarily.  Stacy ordered different plates so we sampled each other's edibles.  That's strategy right there. 

Our waiter was polite but not a superwaiter.  He wrote down what we ordered on a notepad [I am incredibly impressed if you don't need to write down our picks].  Pacing of the dishes was a bit off; they were coming out somewhat faster than is optimal.  And we had to pour the chilled red wine ourselves 75% of the time.  A slight frown for those.  However he did check up on us about twice and did clean the crumbs off the table before dessert.   

i Trulli is probably a bit more high-end than it should be, but it's a solid dining experience.  If you like grazing on dandelions, the regular menu uses them quite a lot, fyi.

..se tu mi guardi così
siamo due pezzi di mondo in perfetta armonia io e te..

Since I'm interested in history and subjects related to it, it's especially nice to know Italian. In Italy many books are written about history, archaeology, art history and so on.

Italian is spoken mainly in Italy and in parts of Switzerland. I also happen to know that the people of Malta speak Italian, along with their native language Maltese and their 'adopted' language English. Also, there are people who have emigrated from Italy and who still speak their old language. They might be found anywhere in the world, but I think mostly in the US, Canada and Australia. In all, about 60 million people speak Italian, most of them in Europe.

And even if it's got nothing to do with the language, I love Italian food. The various pastas and pizzas have such incredibly appetizing names. Don't words like fettucine, lasagna, cannelloni och tagliatelle seem to taste just as well as the pasta by those names?

I've also studied Latin, but it's really difficult. It's a language that is at the same time unsophisticated and hard to learn. The grammar is tough. Though I have heard that ancient Greek, Russian and Serbo-Croatian are more difficult. A bit of Latin is good to know, if you want to study other modern languages. (Well, maybe not Chinese or Japanese, but many different European languages).

There's a modern version of Latin - Interlingua. It's a language that has been created. Basically, it's simplified but more expressive than Latin. Mainly, it's based on Spanish and Italian (with a bit of French, English and a number of other languages). The best thing about this language, is that you don't need to learn it to understand it. If you've studied Spanish or Italian you'll have no trouble understanding Interlingua. Of course, it's more difficult to learn to write and speak, but then the same goes for every other language.

Since Interlingua has been created without any complicated grammar, it should be easier to learn than other languages. I haven't studied it myself, but I can assure you that it's very easy to understand text written in Interlingua.

You sometimes hear proposals about turning Latin into the EU's official language. Whoever is suggesting that, can't possibly have tried to study Latin himself - or it's some professor of Latin who's forgotten how difficult the language really is. However, now that there's Interlingua (and a few similar languages), we could use that instead. Since it's so easy to understand, most people would be able to read all the documents and articles written in it, without any further studies. Only the people who write those documents (or translate them) would have to learn Interlingua. Even if you did have to learn it, it doesn't seem to be difficult.

I suspect that the reason proposals are made about making Latin the offical language of the EU, is because it would be awkward using a modern language that is still being used by one or several countries. That might give that country (or countries) an unfair advantage over the other member countries. Latin, on the other hand, isn't officially spoken anywhere except for in the Vatican. Even better, Interlingua is spoken nowhere and everywhere, depending on wherever the students of the language live. It seems to me that it couldn't get any fairer than that.

I got this great idea from Cafe Chocolada and it's now one of Kramer's favorite dishes! It's a kid-friendly, vegetarian meal, and it can easily be made vegan. Pasta mixed with mashed potatoes might sound crazy, but it's actually delicious! Recipe after the jump.

You probably already have all of this stuff in your house!

Peel, chop, and boil about a pound of potatoes. Boil your pasta while you do this as well.

Slice (or chop, it depends on your preference) 2 onions and saute until tender or cook for longer if you'd like them to be caramelized.

When your potatoes are ready, they should easily mash up.

Carefully combine the potatoes and pasta.

Add the paprika to the onions and combine.

Add the onions to the pasta and potatoes and very carefully combine thoroughly.

So simple and so good!

Definitely serve this with some kind of vegetable because it's a little light on the veggies, haha.

Potato Pasta
from Cafe Chocolada

1 lb pasta (like mostaccioli, rigatoni, rotini, elbows, penne, etc.)
1 lb potatoes, peeled, cut up
1 clove garlic, minced
2 medium onions, chopped or sliced thinly
3-4 Tbs of oil, or enough to caramelize the onions
2 Tbsp of paprika seasoning
Salt to taste
Parmesan cheese
Parsley to garnish

1. Cook pasta according to directions. Drain, and set aside.
2. Boil potatoes, and mash them with your clove of minced garlic and a pinch of salt..
3. Combine the potatoes and pasta into one bowl.
4. Chop or slice, and then caramelize the onions. Add the paprika to the onions and then pasta/potato mixture.
5. Mix gently, but thoroughly. Sprinkle with some Parmesan cheese. Best served immediately - garnish with parsley, and enjoy!

First pop the porcini in a small bowl, then heat the milk, pour it over the mushrooms and leave them to soak for 30 minutes.
Heat the butter in a medium frying pan over a gentle heat, stir in the shallots and let them cook gently for 5 minutes.
Strain the porcini into a sieve lined with kitchen paper, reserving the soaking liquid, and squeeze the porcini dry.
Chop them finely and add them to the pan, along with the fresh mushrooms and the balsamic vinegar. Season with salt, pepper and nutmeg. Give it all a good stir, then cook gently, uncovered, for 30-40 minutes, until all the liquid has evaporated.
About 15 minutes before the mushrooms are ready, put the pasta on to cook.
Then, 2 minutes before the pasta is cooked, mix the crème fraîche into the mushrooms with the soaking liquid, and warm through.
Drain the pasta in a colander, return it to the hot pan and quickly mix in the mushroom mixture, then place the pasta back on a gentle heat so it continues to cook for 1 more minute while it absorbs the sauce. Take it to the table in a hot serving bowl and hand the Parmesan round separately.

Serves 4 - 6

Here's something else that's good for you. I decided to whip up a batch of pesto this time, since it's the only way to reliably use up decent quantities of basil. In my eagerness to harvest the best of my herbs, however, I picked far too many and as a result I made two batches - it worked out to 3 generous cups, or one for the week and two for the freezer. Naturally, the first has already been polished off tidily. This recipe - which substitutes easier-to-find, superfood walnuts for the expensive pine nuts - is adapted from Biba's Italian Kitchen - perhaps a sign of my renewed obsession with all things Italian, at least culinarily speaking. (I made her recipe for potato gnocchi the other day too, but that's another, very lumpy, story). In terms of ratios of ingredients, pesto recipes run the gamut. This one seems to me to have the right balance of basil, oil, nuts, garlic and cheese. I did omit the salt on the second round though - there was plenty of it in the parmesan cheese.

Walnut Pesto

2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves

1/2-3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (I went for a little less to keep the consistency thicker)

1/3 cup shelled, chopped walnuts (since I was using a food processor, I sort of skipped the chopping part and just filled the cup a bit more to compensate for the size of the nuts)

2 garlic cloves

salt to taste

1/4 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

Put all the ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and process until smooth, scraping down the bowl in between as needed. Set aside or refrigerate (or freeze) until ready to use. Makes about 1 cup.

I found that "sealing" the sauce with a thin layer of olive oil before storing in the fridge or freezer helps prevent the rapid discoloration that happens once basil is cut and exposed to light. My batches came out a bit more than a cup each. Not that I'm complaining about ending up with more pesto than predicted.

Mangia!

	Lasagna - A little flat coming out. Even the wife can make the lasagna stand. The sauce was nice, a bit watery. Nice rich tomato flavor and beef as well. I saw ziti in the lasagna compressed with pasta sheets. Buddy stated the layers were good. Could have come out with a side of bread to help wipe up the sauce at the end.
	Chicken Parmigiana - Pretty huge sandwich, the inside of the sub was very soggy, a toasted sub would have worked. Also the menu states it was topped with provolone, weird not having mozzarella or parmesan. The chicken could have been a bit crisper though I appreciate that the chicken was not dried out. A side of marinara sauce would have been great. The chips are pretty standard ridge types.

Decor: It was very loud. The place is very conducive to families. We think Wednesday night is some sort of poker night. Even if it wasn't poker night, the layout would still have a loud atmosphere. The back was rowdy with a bunch of people playing some poker. Our server came by when it started to rain to let us know that the rain was coming and we should roll up car windows if needed. That was a nice touch.

Overall Assessment: ($, 5/10) - Congratulations to my buddy for finally picking a place that doesn't suck. Just kidding, sorta. The sandwiches were a great deal. Huge portions for a reasonable price. The entrees, I don't know could have utilize more substance. One of the better Italian establishments in the DC metro area.

Website: http://www.restaurant.com/luciasrest/
Location: 2531 John Milton Dr, 20171
Reservation: N/A
Takeout: 703.476.4400
Hours: Sun - Thurs; 1000 - 2200, Fri - Sat; 1000 - 2300

More photos >>>

Why the hell are we bending over backwards to shove a descent movie up our ass holes so it can be covered in a nice shining coat of shit that the retards who think it's funny will watch, as if seeing an askewed as hell version of a work of fucking art is teaching them about the old times. We shouldn't change things because we want stupid people to enjoy it, if stupid people wanna enjoy something that requires intelligence to understand, they need to read a book or get some freaking brain food or listen to Iron Maiden so they can! All we're doing by dumbing things down is telling them it's okay to be a mindless idiot, it's okay to destroy art and it's okay to irreverantly steal and mame someone's masterpiece. "But James, are we really hurting them that much if we slut up the brothel dance just a smidge?" Yes! If you have to turn the opera house into Johnny Bling-Bling's fucking masterbatorium to get him to go there, then you have made a wrong turn at Common Fucking Sense Boulevard.

LYRICS:

Negli occhi miei
Ormai ci sei
Chiss se con lo stesso sguardo
Vedi me negli occhi tuoi

Allora si
Io devo dirtelo
Mentre provavo a non pensarti
Ti pensavo sempre pi

Siamo un po' troppo vicini adesso per scappare via

Tu non lo sai
Prima di te
C' stato un altro che ha lasciato
Le ferite dentro me

Non aver paura giuro amore sono qui a difenderti
Con il tempo guarir il tuo cuore cancellando i lividi
E per tutti i giorni che verranno ti respirer

Io ti dir le cose dette mai
Di questo amore noi saremo gli angeli
Il mio petto da cuscino
Per la vita ti far

Sembra cominciata gi
Una storia senza fine

Far girare il mondo intorno a noi
Arriver Natale senza nuvole
Le domeniche d'agosto
Quanta neve che cadr
E nel tempo che verr
Il mio cuore ti sorprender

Che freddo fa
Stringimi un po'
Riaccendi tutti i desideri quasi spenti dentro me
Con le dita sfioro il tuo profilo poi mi fermo un attimo
Per giocare con i tuoi capelli che nel vento volano
Prima di scoprire un bacio nuovo
Che sapore avr

A few months ago I went out for lunch with some friends.  We were a crowd around the table, the wine was good, and the conversation flowing.  Then, the girl next to me... I won't name her... scolded our nice waiter for giving her a knife and fork with her pasta dish.  It always makes me nervous when my dinner companions are nasty to waiters.  Only because I worry that those nice waiters will get back at them by SPITTING IN MY FOOD instead of theirs.  

Anyway, while I was saying a quiet thank you that she had left her little tantrum until after I had received my meal, I was also wondering what she had wanted to eat her pasta with.  Her fingers maybe?  And THEN, she asked for a spoon!  And as I cut my pasta up with my knife, I thought, "Oh great, it never ends does it?  I'm supposed to eat my pasta with a bloody spoon.  A spoon!  How the hell do you eat pasta with a spoon?  God, why am I always coming across new... OK they're probably old, rules designed to make me look like a plebe with no culture... etc. etc."

So, I surreptitiously watched my friend twirl her spaghetti around and around in the bowel of her spoon with the tines of her fork.  When the spaghetti was finally all nice and tight around her fork, she put it in her mouth and ate it.  And I thought, OK, I can do that, next time, and forgot all about it until Monday.

I went out for lunch with some friends on Monday.  And my horrified-at-eating-pasta-with-a-knife-and-fork friend was there.  I had forgotten all about the spoon scene when I ordered the rigatoni. Then, the waitress gave me a spoon - damn her - and I realised my predicament.  My first thought was "Shit!  I know how to twirl spaghetti around the bowel of a spoon, but I don't know how to eat rigatoni WITH A SPOON." 

I looked around the restaurant to see if anyone else was eating rigatoni.  Of course they weren't.  So, I started eating with my spoon in my right hand.  It didn't seem right, so I swapped over and had my fork in my right hand.  Then, I thought "For god's sake, WHAT am I doing?  Am I twenty years old?!  Do I really care if I'm using my spoon properly?  NO.  And that means I can eat pasta however I bloody well like. "  And that's when I put down my spoon and ate the rest of my pasta WITH ONLY MY FORK,.. 'cause I no longer had a knife.

OK, I'll probably find out how to use my spoon and fork properly eventually.  But, all I'm really worried about right now is that eating pasta with a knife and fork is an offense that will cause me to lose my Italian passport.

Whilst Japanese bread invariably disappoints, unless you are that 90 year old farmer from Niigata, who lost his teeth sometime before the war and cannot chew anything harder than a duck’s feather, there are recently some very good bread shops in town.  The best baguette I think I have ever tasted is the one baked by Maison Kayser in Takanawa.  Goose did not disappoint me though, the bread, which appeared to be baked in house was very good, served with a bowl split into two; one side with some grated parmesan cheese in olive oil, the other side with a sort of tomato ragu. 

More importantly however, they served you as much as you want.  Brilliant, full bonus points for that alone.  So often in Japan, you go to an Italian restaurant and they either charge you for the bread or give you one minuscule portion that disappears as soon as you sit down.  This is unforgivable.  The whole point of the bread is so that you can use it to mop up any sauce, grease, muck or other random stains left on or near your plate.  If you leave an Italian restaurant hungry for lack of bread, the chef should get down on his knees before you and offer to commit seppuku, it is really the only honourable thing to do. 

I once heard a long diatribe by a rather demanding Japanese OL, who was charged 50 cents for a cup of green tea at a sushi bar in Sydney.  She ranted at length that it was her natural born right to drink as much green tea as she could at no charge just for going somewhere near the vicinity of a sushi bar and until the wide-eyes understood that, they could never make proper sushi, before going on rant about the nationality of the people working behind the counter.  Well that is how I feel about bread at an Italian restaurant, especially if the sauce is good and I have to leave it there due to a lack of bread to mop with (although I have been know to lick the plate directly if I am sure no one is looking).

Itaria Shokudo Goose, whilst you may be a goose, congratulations for getting it right with the bread.

The food:  Enough about the bread, the food was also jolly good.  I had a nice tomato based pasta, finished off with a salad on top.  Sounds a bit left field, but was very good, the generous amount of rabbit food on top was much appreciated as with Big Trouble out of town my consumption of green-stuff rapidly goes down.  Lapp had what looked like a very nice niçoise salad, with a generous serving of tuna and anchovies on top.  RB had what looked like a very tasty cream based crab pasta, the pink complexion of which nicely matched his selection of peach flavoured tea to have with it .  The pasta was all freshly hand made, and all the better for it.  29 points.

The price:  900 yen for the pasta, with an extra 100 yen for a drink; total damage of 1,000 yen for a good lunch with coffee. 7 points.

The volume:  Good size, although for an extra 300 yen, one could upgrade their lunch to an oomori, the endless supply of bread also gets them a few extra points. 10 points.

The extras:  The bread, who could want more, well if I am going to be fussy, although 100 yen is cheap for a coffee, they could have added this to the set.  A little desert perhaps?  Maybe even an appetiser or soup of some description; although for a 900 yen lunch I guess I can’t complain.  8 points.

Bonus: The bread did it.  Good homemade bread with tasty muck to smear all over it. 20 points.

The details: 2Fl, Itenbari Building, 3-7-9 Akasaka, Minato-ku

Phone 03 3582 7924

Web site: http://r.tabelog.com/tokyo/rstdtl/13022687/