(I should probably point out that the word on the packaging is only a colloquial word for penis and could also have meant tail but I know what it looked like!)

I'm kind of at odds with my figure. I'm 5'5 and I can't believe I'd admitting my weight on my blog but somewhere between 135 and 140 pounds. Scales and I don't run in the same circles. Or any circles at all for that matter. I think I'm pretty proportioned for my height and weight. I know I'm not overweight by any means. But let's face it. Everybody has some issue with their body. I've always had small boobs and a nonexistent butt. Back when I was 120 (the heavenly weight I would do evil things to go back to - and yet of course I still thought I was fat then)...wait, where was I going with that? There's my short term memory thing again. I think I'm going to call it my Dory complex from now on. And if you don't know where that comes from, you need to sit down - scratch that - you need to go rent Finding Nemo, sit down, and devote two hours of your day to its humor.

But my current weight which I hope is closer to 135 than 140 but I kind of doubt it. Some days I look in the mirror and I see this belly and omg are those love handles and then my god, those thighs! Other days I look in the mirror and while still small, my boobs are bigger. Can't complain about that. And turn around....HEY! What is that thing attached to the top of my legs?! Who knew the back of pants could actually fit properly? And the stomach doesn't look bad some days. Some days it does this really tricky thing where it looks flat and almost ab-ish. These are the days that I convince myself I don't need to diet. Those are also the days I don't look at my thighs. Because good day or bad day, I will always hate my thighs. Which is odd because before a year ago, I never understood womens issues with their thighs. I barely knew mine existed beyond the fact of having to shave them. Then one day I looked into that tricky mirror and OMG! What are those mammoth things on top of my calves?! And they've been that way ever since.

But moving on. I know what they are going to put on my tombstone when I die. Because it will without fail be the cause. I imagine it will look something like this - but prettier.

We humans don't abide warnings. We look at warnings such as "MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD" "DISTURBING MATERIAL" and "DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU!" as open invitations to do just that. This little tingly feeling in our brains that whisper "Oooh, but I do wonder what they mean by that." And then another one of your multiple personalities says quite reasonably, "You'll never know if you don't look." Very true. So you don't abide the warnings and bad things happen. Like you die. Or your retinas burn out from the horrible imagery. Case in point. See below.

I AM WARNING YOU: DISTURBING CARTOON BELOW! DON'T WATCH IT!

I saw this on Lady Banana's blog and she had the warning "Very very strange" to guide me. That little tingling in my brain started and the voice whispered, "But why is it strange?" If she would have told me that the Pearce Sisters were fish butchers that found people out at sea and then roasted their bodies so that they could have tea parties with them then the tingling would have completely disappeared and I would have merrily went on my little way without ever seeing the video.  But nooooo. And now I've seen it. It makes me think of all the horror movies I've seen that are the least bit similar to this and the terrifying realization that there are people like this in the world today. If there weren't, this video would just be weird and slightly disturbing. But because there are people like that, somewhere that I really hope I never meet, it's very very very disturbing. Shudder.

You may be wondering why I'm writing about this.
You should know already. 
I fit into this community, like it or not. 
I like it, you may not. 
I don't care if you don't - you don't have to. 
This is my cause. 
Some people go save the rainforest.  Some want to stop racism.  Some want to stop illegal immigration.  Some want to end the crime on wall-street.  Some want to end inner-city crime.  Whatever people wanna do, they do.  Whatever people want to stand up for, they stand up for.
This is what I stand up for.

I hate it when people are disgusted with people of the LGBT community. 
I hate it when people think that it's "gross" or "wrong". 
The people that say that it's wrong or gross?  Ya, um, that is wrong, that is disturbing. 
Look at it this way: you are not the one who is having sex or being attracted to someone of the same sex as you.  They cannot help who they are attracted to.  Average straight people say that they can't help who they love, why should gay people have to help who they love?
That makes no sense to me. 
Being apart of the LGBT community means you have different tastes as someone else.  It's like someone who has opposite tastes in music or food or clothing as you.  Do you hate people who like country music when you like metal?  I sure as hell hope not.  Do you hate people who wear Ambercrombie and Fitch when you wear clothes from Target?  I sure as hell hope not, again.  But yet, there are people who hate LGBTs simply because they have different tastes than themselves. 
I don't understand, I really don't. 

So, please, think of that next time you're about ready to discriminate against someone over their sexual prefence - it's just that, a PREFERENCE, that varies from your own. 
They can't help it just as much as you can't help it that you like the kinds of people that you like. 
They, we, are humans too. 
And they, we, deserve equal treatment.

WARNING: Some of the scenes are extremely disturbing

I mean, SERIOUSLY! The little girl is getting way too up close and personal with that guys "balls". And I'm guessing this is a family so it makes that even far more disturbing. I'm all for whatever floats your boat but this is just weird.

]]> http://boldlittleswallow.wordpress.com/?p=39 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:53:42 +0000 Little Swallow http://boldlittleswallow.pt-br.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/seven-year-old-boy-goes-on-killing-rampage-at-the-zoo/ It's time for a disturbing news story! From the BBC:

A seven-year-old boy has been filmed going on the rampage at a popular zoo in Australia, killing rare reptiles and feeding live ones to a crocodile. ...

The attack happened on Wednesday morning after the boy entered the zoo by jumping over the security fence and evading sensor alarms.

Over the next half hour, he bludgeoned some of the animals to death with stones and hurled others over the two fences surrounding the crocodile enclosure. ...

Just ... wow. I mean teenagers and adults have done worse things, but a seven-year-old kid?!

Also on the BBC, towards the bottom of this article about last night's VP candidate debate, there's a word cloud of the words most frequently used by Palin during the debate.  What an interesting way to look at candidate's jargon and theorize what this means about their priorities, though I'd prefer them also using most commonly used phrases like "Main Street".  (Did anyone notice that every time Palin said "Wall Street", she said "Main Street" once or twice within the following sentence or two?

Back up...WHAT?! Where did this year ago? Sheesh. On the other hand- AWESOME. I love October, particularly Halloween and the gloriously changing weather. And Columbus Day, which just so happens to be designated holiday according to my employer. High five!

I will be hopping on a plane early tomorrow en route to New York. Be back on Sunday. Till then blogging will be light...but that just means I'll be photographing everything and saving up memories to post upon my return! New York is a fantastic place so get excited for fantastic photos....yaaaaay!!!

On a side note (and I mean really far off to the side), I simply had to post a link to this utterly absurd story. I don't know what's more disturbing...the concept of a nude Sarah Palin portrait hanging in a bar or the fact that the bar owner's daughter served as the model. One thing is for sure: alcohol sales are up.

Ewww.

Cops: Teen hired pair to kill his mom for money

FOUNTAIN, Colo. - A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.

In any case, the freaks at PETA have sent a letter to the co-founders of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, urging them to replace cow's milk used in their product with human milk. Apparently, they got the idea from some restaurant owner in Switzerland who has started using human milk as a substitute for cow's milk--I wonder if his customers are aware of this?

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

FOND DU LAC, Wis. (AP) A father who bought a beer for his 4-year-old son at the Fond du Lac County Fair and shared it with the boy's 2-year-old sibling is cited after becoming belligerent when he was approached by police.

A woman working at a beer tent last July told an officer she thought the man was joking when he asked for two beers — one for him and another for his 4-year-old son.

When he was questioned by an officer, he told him it's legal for underage children to drink in Wisconsin, as long as they're with their parents. The officer countered that the boys weren't old enough to know what they were drinking.

A police report says the man began yelling and swearing and was kicked off the fairgrounds.

The Fond du Lac County district attorney recently requested that the man be cited for disorderly conduct.

So to avoid thinking about it I will re-post this from Wil Wheaton's awesome blog.

Enjoy.

From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

We need God taking over our education system! - In this new video, available only as of September 23, 2008, Sarah Palin is shown accepting a special supernatural protection from witchcraft from Kenyan pastor Thomas Muthee, who also promoted Palin's campaign for Governor as a way to infiltrate the government with the right wing religious agenda of the Assembly of God.  Boo! Crazy!

The woman simply is nuts.  This video is amazing.   A potential VP being annointed by  a witch exorcist.We also have the video of Sarah Palin at the church this summer when she claims that Muthee's praying over her helped her win the election for Governor.  

Check out the earlier article of ours about Palin and the video of Palin speaking about the importance of Muthee's praying over her. 

Click HERE

Man stabbed, beheaded on Greyhound bus by apparent stranger
Gabrielle Giroday and Ian Hitchen, Canwest News Service Published: Thursday, July 31, 2008

BRANDON, Man. -- Screaming passengers fled in terror from a Greyhound bus as an unidentified fellow passenger suddenly stabbed a man sleeping next to him, decapitated him and waved the severed head at horrified witnesses standing outside.

The apparently unprovoked assault left 36 men, women and children stranded Wednesday night on the shoulder of the darkening Trans-Canada Highway near Portage la Prairie, Man., about 85 kilometres west of Winnipeg, watching while the bus driver and a driver of a nearby truck shut the crazed attacker inside the bus with the mangled victim. Reports Friday said the suspect tried to eat parts of the victim.

At a media conference Thursday afternoon, RCMP confirmed they have a suspect -- who is not believed to be from Manitoba -- in custody, but offered few new details about this baffling homicide. The suspect, a man in his 40s, is expected to be formally charged today.

"By the time the police arrived, the driver and the remaining passengers had all safely exited the bus," said Sgt. Steve Colwell.

He said officers could see the man walking around inside the bus, but said he refused to exit. The standoff lasted for hours.

"At 1:28 a.m., the suspect . . . attempted to jump out of the bus after breaking a window. He was immediately subdued and arrested without incident and is currently in RCMP custody," Sgt. Colwell said.

The victim's name has not been released but a number of tribute groups on the social networking Web site Facebook identified him as 22-year-old Tim McLean, a carnival worker from Winnipeg.

The Facebook group posted early Friday entitled R.I.P. Tim McLean lamented the young man's death.

"R.I.P Tim McLean, You are loved and you will be missed dearly!" the site description read.

McLean's father, Tim McLean Sr., told CBC News on Thursday night that he was in the process of trying to get confirmation from the police that his son was, in fact, the victim of attack.

Witness Garnet Caton said the attack was unprovoked.

"The guy just took a knife out and stabbed him, started stabbing him like crazy and cut his head off," said Mr. Caton, 26, a passenger on the Edmonton-to-Winnipeg bus.

"Some people were puking, some people were crying, other people were in shock. . . . Everybody was running, screaming off the bus."

Mr. Caton said the attacker was only on the bus for a brief time, after boarding in western Manitoba.

Passenger Cody Olmstead said he had been watching a movie on the bus just before the attack began.

"We were watching Zorro; next thing I know, I hear someone screaming."

Mr. Olmstead, 21, told reporters he had smoked a cigarette earlier in the trip with the victim, who got on the bus in Edmonton.

He said the victim said he was going to Winnipeg.

After the bus pulled over and the terrified passengers fled, Mr. Olmstead said the attacker was taunting those outside with the victim's severed head.

"He came back, standing in the doorway with the head, looked at him, dropped the head and went back and started cutting buddy back up."

He said when police showed up, the taunting continued.

"He come up and picks the head up and he's waving it in the window. I just smoked a cigarette with this man earlier -- like, the head. He's shaking it back and forth in the window."

Mr. Caton said he and other passengers prevented the attacker from getting off the blood-soaked bus by threatening him with makeshift weapons -- a hammer and a crowbar.

"We were telling him, ‘Stay put, stay put, stay there, don't try to come out.' He tried to get the bus working and the bus driver disabled the bus somehow in the back. I'm not sure how he did it, and at that point, I think the police showed up," he said, adding officers rushed them away.

Mr. Caton and other passengers said the attacker and his victim, who was listening to music on headphones, were sitting together at the rear of the bus, and the attack appeared to be unprovoked; no words were exchanged.

He told a TV station the attacker had actually changed seats to sit next to his victim just before the killing.

Mr. Caton described the man who attacked the passenger as bald and wearing sunglasses. He seemed oblivious to others when the stabbing occurred, said Mr. Caton, adding he was struck by how calm the man was.

"There was no rage or anything. He was like a robot, stabbing the guy," he said.

Mr. Caton said the victim boarded in Edmonton, was wearing hip-hop clothing and appeared to be around 20 years of age.

After the killing, the other passengers were later taken to Brandon, Man., to be interviewed by police and to stay overnight at a hotel there.

Crisis counsellors were also at the hotel to provide support to the passengers, and counsellors could be seen chatting with them outside the hotel as groups went out to local stores for snacks or to smoke cigarettes.

One small boy, who was with an adult man and woman, was given a plush teddy bear by a crisis health worker.

"The first thing I heard was something like a terrible type [of] yowl, and that was from the guy who got stabbed," said an elderly woman on the bus, from Winnipeg.

The woman and her adult daughter said they were three or four rows in front of the man when the attack began.

"[My daughter said] ‘Oh my God,' and everybody else started screaming," she said. "They had terror in their eyes."

Two other passengers on the bus, a 22-year-old man and a 21-year-old woman from France, said they were heading to Winnipeg after visiting the woman's father in Whitehorse. The 22-year-old man said in French that he saw a man holding a long knife repeatedly stab another passenger. He and his girlfriend said they were shocked by the attack, and the isolation in the middle of the prairie when it occurred.

"There was nowhere to go," she said.

Speaking in Quebec City, Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day said the issue of safety on buses may need to be examined more closely once the legal process of this case is over.

"We're never closed to looking at how Canadians can be more safe and more secure," Mr. Day told reporters in Quebec on Thursday. "This particular incident, as horrific as it is, is obviously extremely rare."

Greyhound spokesman Eric Wesley, speaking from Texas, said drivers are trained to get help as soon as they can when incidents occur.

"This is very rare, unique occurrence. Bus transportation is one of the safest modes of transportation. This is highly unique that something like this happened," he said. "Our drivers are trained to provide the safest travel for all our passengers, and every time an incident occurs, they know to pull the bus over and call 911."

Mr. Wesley said counselling will be provided and monetary compensation will be determined on an individual basis.

"We are going to do whatever we need to provide the passengers with counselling or any other measures to make sure they're taken care of."

With files from Canwest News Service, Global News

-------------------------------

Someone tries to cash in on Manitoba bus beheading
Aug 19, 2008 05:43 PM

Steve Lambert
THE CANADIAN PRESS
WINNIPEG–Someone claiming to be a sister of the young man stabbed and beheaded on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba last month has been trying to use the horrific killing to collect money.

The unidentified person posted messages on the Facebook social-networking site last week, claiming to be Tim McLean's eldest sister, Amanda.

"I thank you all for your support of our family. It has been hard to deal with, but life must go on," one message read.

"If you would like to make a donation to help our family, we have set up a PayPal account to do so. Contact for more details."

The impostor also contacted Ron Schinners, who had set up a tribute page to McLean, with a story of financial hardship. The family was having a hard time paying for all the funeral expenses, Schinners was told via instant messaging, and had to quit jobs to help each other through the ordeal.

Schinners was so moved by the story that he turned control of his Facebook tribute page over to the person he believed was the victim's sister – despite never having met her or talked to her on the phone.

"I was doing it out of the kindness of my heart, but I was also being deceived and I felt really stupid," Schinners said today from his home in Port Alberni, B.C.

The pleas for donations were on a handful of McLean tribute pages for a couple of days before people got suspicious. They pointed out the McLean family had already set up an account to accept donations at branches of TD-Canada Trust.

Schinners eventually heard from the real Amanda McLean. At the same time, someone reported the matter to the RCMP and the person posting as Amanda McLean was removed from Facebook, he said.

Manitoba RCMP would not confirm whether an investigation was under way, citing privacy laws.

McLean, a travelling carnival worker, was on his way home to Winnipeg from Edmonton on July 30 when he was attacked onboard the bus.

Vince Weiguang Li, 40, of Edmonton has been charged with second-degree murder. He is undergoing a psychiatric assessment and his next court date is set for Sept. 8.

Sources:
First article: National Post
Second article: The Star

One of the many things that Google churned out when I typed 'Rotary Telephone' into the search bar. An instructional video on educating people how to use a rotary phone, just like what the title suggests. Informative.

On a sidenote, the little girl in this video seems really happy for some reason, wonder why...

Also I'm beginning to have this really big urge to tell my parents to just piss off. I'm just so sick of them! When I was in Melbourne the teachers were like you have between 6 and 7pm each night to call your parents, so while the weird homesick people were like that I'm like "fuck that! I'm glad I have a week without them." I'm presuming these thoughts are normal teenagey stuff. If not then I have some really whacked out problem with my emotions.

Also, I've had the creepiest, most disturbing idea for a novel. Like you have no idea how creepy and disturbing this is. This is like your creepiest and disturbing thought multiplied by 1000. Which is cool, because when I figure all the details out hopefully it'll come together nicely. But who seriously has these thoughts?!?! It's not right! Why am I thinking about this stuff!!??

It's not right.

Lol my cat was just licking itself and it licked a tiny piece of crap of it's fur and it got stuck on it's mouth...bloody hell my cat's retarded.

"Oh, it's you."
That moment onwards, it didn't take him much. Only a few touches here and there, some soft words and a white powder. Softer than I'd like, if you ask me. But strangely enough, it didn't seem as if I had a choice. From a woman to a soft breed of sheep, it only took me a quarter of an hour.

Do not misunderstand me, Dear reader. Magnificent, he was. But ah, the seemingly shapeless mass resting in my bony skull begs to differ. It tells me - the shapeless mass, that is - that the sparks beneath my hair shouldn't be confused with the rest of their kind. As much as I might listen to it, now, I know I had hushed it away a few hours ago. I had been touched, I told it. In more places than one.
(Oh, and unlike me, it knows that he'd probably be escorting another woman at the said time.)

With him still circulating in my veins (and blocking my lungs, much to my displeasure), I struggled to walk back home. Nauseous flashes blocked my view (oh, no, not those, dear) as I moved those two legs I had been given. One step. Two steps. Three.

I entered my house and heard,
"You are a characterless woman."
As my gangrene-affected heart sank, I figured it wasn't my mother, but the good ol' television.
Nevertheless, I walked on, and heard my mother say, this time :
"Do you have any idea what you have been doing?"

Yes, mother, I do have an idea. But it wasn't me.
I forgave her.
Afterall, we're all but women.

____________

It's not connected to me. So, don't get any ideas or something.

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.1580963&w=425&h=50&fv=]

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Put on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

P.S. Nu am pus video-ul ca e cam ... disturbing :)

I never would have tuned in to see this, but I started watching because it came on right after American History X, one of my favourite films.  Although American History X tells a terrible story and ends badly for the protagonists, we're at least left with an ambiguous ending.  I prefer to think that there's glimmer of hope: bad people can change.

Kids, however, is cruel and punishing to watch.  It starts off with a morbidly intriguing premise.  A young male teenage punk has sex with as many virgins as he can.  Throughout the film we follow both the punk, and one of his former conquests that he tossed aside as she learns of and attempts to deal with the consequences.  Most of the characters are thoroughly unsavoury; the female protagonist, played by Chloë Sevigny, stands out from them all.  She's cute, clean and well-spoken; in other words she is a stereotypical middle-class teenage girl.

As the movie progresses, things just keep getting worse and worse.  The disgusting absence of morality of the teenage punk and his associates is revealed and bludgeoned into the viewer's brain with actions and dialogue that are increasingly offensive throughout.  The separate path of the girl is similar in that it gets more and more depressing.  When we finally get to the climax, the viewer is teased into thinking something good might come of these terrible things that have lead to this point.  And then, horiffically, it gets inconceivably and despicably worse than I possibly could have imagined.  My mind was silently shouting "NO!" and "STOP!"  I held out hope right until the end that it wouldn't end the way it did, that something else would happen.  And then the credits roll.

I've been thinking about whether this was a good movie or not.  The direction wasn't particularly interesting, but it was told in a way to hook the viewer early on.  If their point was to tell a depressing story that becomes tragic, and then becomes something worse than tragic, they succeeded.  This movie had a profound physical impact on me.  Terrible things happened onscreen, and I, the viewer, feel sick just from watching it.  I don't believe I have been traumatized like this by a movie before.  Even though I'd like to think the story is fiction, it's disturbing and depressing because the characters are representative of real people.  Why did someone choose to tell this story?  What did they hope to accomplish?  I don't know.

I've had difficulty writing this post, not just because of the what has been permanently seared into my brain, but because all of the strongest words I can think of have been abused by the media to the point where they've lost their impact.  I'm at a loss to describe it.  My fierce recommendation:  Avoid at all costs.

I expect I won't sleep much tonight.