It’s got to feel as empty as Lake Lanier in North Georgia during the recent drought.  In an unprecedented Olympic sequence, both the US men’s and women’s 4 x 100 relay dropped the baton on the last leg of their qualifying heats.  In less than a few seconds, years of anticipation and hope were over.  Done.

I can’t imagine the disappointment and pain that both teams must be feeling even now; laying awake and staring at the ceiling wondering how their pass failed.  Tyson Gay, the premier US sprinter who would like to forget Beijing exists, seemed almost dazed as he spoke with the commentator after the race. 

Some journalists state it’s a lack of cohesiveness that produced such lackluster performances, others say poor training.  Both seem viable factors to diagnosing our athlete’s maladies.

Passing the baton remains one of the best images to illustrate our responsibility as fathers.  Today, more than ever before, we must engage in what author and speaker Robert Lewis describes as “strategic parenting”.   Lewis identifies three options for fathers to raise sons:  abandoned, involved, and strategic.  Some dads abdicate their responsibility altogether, a trend my wife sees everyday as a teacher in the public school system.  Other fathers stay admirably involved by attending athletic events, paying for lessons, helping homework, etc.   A small percentage, however, dedicate themselves to launch their “arrows” (Psalm 127:4) with tactical, premeditated planning – not unlike the  dedicated Jewish fathers of old who prepared their sons to participate as adults at an early age.   Strategic dads instill industriousness, establish accountability, and build character so that their boys can become men.

Dennis Rainey, author and president of FamilyLife, describes three junctions in a young man’s life where the father cannot fault in passing the baton, these are:  adolescence, college, and in marriage.  I wrote Teknon and the CHAMPION Warriors (www.championtraining.com) to equip fathers to transition their sons through the first junction and into young adulthood.  Whether it’s Teknon, another tool, or a father’s own creative approach – strategic “passing” through the landmarks Rainey identifies must occur.

Don’t look back, like the USA athletes, wondering how and why the baton dropped with your son.  Get strategic and make an effective pass.  He’s already out of the blocks and his hand is open.

Ashley has a sister, Rebecca Mutz, whom I have heard so much about from Ashley. Because I am friends with Rebecca on Facebook, I knew that she was expecting her first child. I saw the announcement of her baby girl's birth on Facebook, and then two days later became concerned when her Facebook status asked for prayer for her daughter. Molly was unexpectedly born with life-threatening medical conditions, and God took her Home on Thursday, just a week after she was born. I won't share all the details of Molly's life here, but another blogger posted email updates along the way from Dennis Rainey here and here . All I will say here is that Rebecca and her husband Jacob had a baby dedication service with family in the hospital. God asked them to unreservedly commit their child to Him in the fullest sense, and they obeyed. They are truly courageous parents who cling to their Savior and entrusted their daughter to Him.

Mighty Molly Mutz (as her Papa referred to her) has had a deep impact on me this week, and one that I know is lasting. I am unable to put the entire experience into words, but here are a few things I have learned from Molly:

1. Molly made me long for Heaven. If God would have allowed Rebecca and Jacob to take her home with them, she would have been raised by joyful, godly parents. She would have been spoiled by adoring grandparents and enjoyed Christmases overflowing with cousins. Molly would have been taught about God and His Word, and she surely would have impacted many people with the Gospel. (Although she has influenced many in her short time on earth!) But for an unfathomable reason, Heaven is a better place for Molly than the wonderful home she would have enjoyed here. And so that reminds me that Heaven must truly be some place I want to be.

2. Molly taught me to be thankful. My heart aches for Rebecca's and Jacob's empty arms. God has allowed me to have two sons at home with me, and (I'm embarrassed to admit) there are days that go by when I don't acknowledge that every day He gives me with them is a precious gift. When there are sleepless nights and whining-filled days, it is tempting to view motherhood as an inconvenience. This week, I have been a little more grateful, a little more patient, and a more loving mom to my boys.

3. Molly taught me to pray. I have prayed more this week than I have in a long time. I pulled Ashley's family photo off the fridge, and my sons prayed for her boys who would soon lose a cousin. I know others who have lost children, most of them prior to my knowing them. Molly has reminded me to add them to my list of people to pray for regularly.

4. Molly taught me to trust. When something like this happens to someone I know, I agonize, weep and pray for them. And, because I am a selfish being, then my thoughts turn to myself. What if this happened to me? How would I survive? I begin to feel anxious and fearful. This week I was reading a chapter from Linda Dillow's "Calm My Anxious Heart," and the chapter was titled "Trusting God with the What Ifs." I was reminded of God's character--His sovereignty, His faithfulness and His love for me--and encouraged to trust Him with all of my what ifs. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is in the Lord." (Jeremiah 17:7)

To Rebecca and Jacob and all the Rainey and Mutz families . . . my prayers are with you during this excruciatingly difficult time. Thank you for opening your lives to us and allowing us to share in your struggles, grief and hope, allowing God to teach us through you.

One of my favorite hymns, especially in times of difficulty, is "It Is Well With My Soul." It was written by Horatio Spafford as he sailed in the Atlantic Ocean, where his four daughters had recently died. It seems fitting to share the words here. The first verse tells us that he has peace even in his grief, and the following verses tell us why.

When peace like a river attendeth my way, When clouds like a sea billow roll,

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well, with my soul."

Tho' Satan should buffet, tho' trials should come, Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin- O, the bliss of this glorious thought -my sin, not in part, but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,

The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend, "Even so"- it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul, It is well, it is well with my soul.

Barbara was working on her needlepoint, and I was reading the newspaper. It was any weeknight in America --just the way Norman Rockwell pictured it.

At least it was until our eighth grader, Benjamin, popped his head up from behind his school-assigned book and said, "Dad, I don't think I should be reading this."

"What do you mean, buddy?" I asked.

"This story--it's got some pretty graphic details about a man and a woman in it. You know, sex!" He blushed a bit and shot a nervous glance at his mom, who nearly jabbed her finger with that sewing needle.

"Let me see that book," I said. Quickly flipping through a few pages, I could see right away why he was concerned. He was dead on. This book was explicit and graphic as it spun a romantic tale.

As it turned out, we were able to help him get an alternate assignment. After his teacher originally threatened him with a zero for not reading this particular book, we came to a meeting of the minds and were happy with the result. But nothing made us happier than seeing our son's conscience in action, knowing that at 14 he already had an acute sense of right and wrong--and the courage to choose what he knew was best.

I can promise you that living-room stories like these don't happen without lots of work on the part of parents. Lots of Scripture. Lots of prayer together. Lots of offhand conversations, teachable moments and direct disciplinary actions.

If you're doing it right, parenthood often means being a pain to your children, interfering with what they want. But those early years of character development are so important. That's when you play the role of your children's consciences--calling them, training them, prodding them on to a higher good, helping them learn the value of refusing evil.

Discuss
How have you seen your children's consciences fire into action?

Pray
Pray that the Lord will always keep your kids' consciences tender to His touch.

Taken from Moments Like This. Dennis Rainey.

image: sxc

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Let me start with right now.  I am sitting here in my warm (1) house (2) at our dinning room table (3) typing (4) on my computer (5) and using my air-card (6) to access the internet (7).  I am watching (8) my children (9, 10) play (11) while Sean (12) is taking a warm (13) shower (14) to get ready (15) to drive (16) to Evy's parent/teacher (17) conferences (18).  Oh and Nora (19) is upstairs sleeping (20) in her crib (21).

Wow. I just typed three short sentences and I came up with over 20 things for which I am thankful.  I am a blessed woman.  It is amazing when I stop and intentionally think about all the things I have it is, dare I say, a bit grotesque???  Oh please don't get me wrong here. I am on my face with thankfulness to the One who blesses with such generosity! But I just don't deserve anything and so when I stop and think about all that I have it becomes somewhat overwhelming. 

The other day I was listening to FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey.  He had on guest Lisa TerKeurst, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, who was there promoting her new book 'When women say Yes! to God'. She asked a very convicting question.  What is one area in my life that I have ABSOLUTE faith in God?  Then she followed the question up with a challenge to pray for God to make me more faithful.  absolute (pure) faith in God. pray for more faith. pray for more faith. pure faith in God.  I started to think about it and I do have absolute faith in God for things like breathing, my heart continuing to pump, my brain function to remain strong, my eternal destiny and so on, but how often does He get thanked?  Do I wake up in the morning and immediately praise Him for bringing me safely through the night - no, I should. Do I open my eye and exclaim I CAN SEE!!! And praise Him for keeping my eyesight as I slept - I should.  When my brain has wakened from slumber do I thank Him that I have not lost my salvation?? No, what do I do? I casually wait until we are all downstairs and the kids are fed and occupied and I have my coffee and my bible and, relatively speaking, things are calm and quiet.

Oh Lord God! Cause me to think of You BEFORE I wake to a new morning so that Your name will be the first on my lips and on my heart.  I pray, have mercy on my ungrateful heart and prideful soul! Cause me to be ever aware of the gifts from You that are before my seeing eyes daily!!!  Help me to be of a humble spirit and to count others higher than I count myself. Keep me as Your child. And grant me the faith to rest absolutely in You all my days.

With a joyful heart - Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

In Christ Alone - truly.

Nora

Ok, I'm not going to shoot anyone (hmmm), but one of the activities I plan to employ as a father is the old "date interview." I actually plan to have some fun with them, but at the same time address a very serious issue of dating and my daughters. The shotgun will definitely be within eyesight of any boy that is brave (or insane) enough to ask me to date one of my girls.

The reason this has come to mind is that this week Dennis Rainey of Family Life Today has been going through a radio/podcast series about interviewing your daughters date. In the last broadcast, he presented the 8 points to interviewing your daughter's date, which he has covered in his book - "Interviewing your daughters date." Here are the 8 points Dr. Rainey emphasis when talking with your daughter's date:

Point #1 - "A woman is God's beautiful creation to be treated with nobility, kindness, care and respect."

Point #2 - "The attraction of a young man to a young woman is both normal and very good."

Point #3 - "I understand and remember the sex drive of a young man at 18 is really like."

Point #4 - "I'm going to hold you accountable for your relationship with my daughter. (I reserve the right to ask you any questions I want!)"

Point #5 - "I challenge you as a young man to set a different standard for this relationship than the world would. (You will guard my daughters innocence, sexually and emotionally.)"

Point #6 - "I want to respect the dignity of my daughter by keeping your hands off my daughter."

Point #7 - "Do you understand everything I have just said? Can we shake on it?"

Point #8 - "When you are a dad, I challenge your children someday to abide by these standards and to interview their dates."

Even though I realize that I won't be dealing with this issue for another 37 years, (ok, 13... maybe) I understand that my girls need me to be prepared for that time when I do meet their dates, and I can only be prepared through God's grace and wisdom. I am already praying for my girls' future husbands, that they will be Godly men and proper leaders for the home they will establish. But I know I must also take an active approach to protecting my girls during that very difficult (and getting more complicated by the day!) time of growing up.

For any of you fathers out there, any suggestions or stories you may want to share would be greatly appreciated! And for you young and new fathers, we all in this together, so let's lift up each other in prayer.

And meet at the shooting range on Saturday for a little practice...

O livro tem boas idéias, algumas tem aplicação com comunidades mais metódicas, mas acho que o grande mérito dele é dar a noção de que a igreja é a esperança da família nesse mundo. À medida que vemos uma sociedade cada vez mais caótica, podemos relacionar esses efeitos diretamente com a decadência dos laços familiares que temos acompanhado ao longo dos anos e a cada novela que a Globo coloca às 21:00 e às 19:00.

E o que o autor prega tem muita razão, à igreja, cabe o papel de ser uma fortaleza em relação à família, ajudando as famílias a se estruturarem melhor, apoiando nas crises e influenciando a sociedade que uma família sanada é a melhor saída para as crises pessoais. Cabe à igreja porque é Deus quem começou a família.

Os pastores pisam muito em ovos tentando respeitar os divorciados da igreja, aqueles que crescem com seus pais em casas diferentes, aqueles casais que vivem juntos etc. E a impressão que passa é que a igreja acaba sendo complacente com essa situação deixando de estimular o plano A de Deus, a famíla, o casamento que não acaba, os filhos que tem a companhia do pai e mãe em casa.

As idéias são colocar em prática o que a Bíblia já fala, as mulheres com mais idade que falem às mais novas o que é a vida. Ele estrutura didaticamente as várias fases do casal desde quando estão pensando em casar até quando vêem os filhos irem embora de casa. Estrutura grupos de mentores para auxílio em cada fase do casal e coloca uma grande responsabilidade à igreja em acompanhar a vida de cada família e suprí-la nas crises que haverão.

Faz pensar muito na responsabilidade que é plantar novas igrejas não somente em levar o evangelho, mas propor a quem está conosco o quanto a família conforme Deus sempre pensou vale a pena.

Por Luis Fernando.