In total last month, 15 older children in Nebraska were dropped off by a beleaguered parent or custodial aunt or grandmother who said the children were unmanageable.

In what way is this a solution for "problem (older) kids"? I am sure a parent making this decision cannot be easy... however, there are many many steps which can be taken before any family gets to that point.

By ERIK ECKHOLM

OMAHA — The abandonments began on Sept. 1, when a mother left her 14-year-old son in a police station here.

By Sept. 23, two more boys and one girl, ages 11 to 14, had been abandoned in hospitals in Omaha and Lincoln. Then a 15-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl were left.

The biggest shock to public officials came last week, when a single father walked into an Omaha hospital and surrendered nine of his 10 children, ages 1 to 17, saying that his wife had died and he could no longer cope with the burden of raising them.

In total last month, 15 older children in Nebraska were dropped off by a beleaguered parent or custodial aunt or grandmother who said the children were unmanageable.

Officials have called the abandonments a misuse of a new law that was mainly intended to prevent so-called Dumpster babies — the abandonment of newborns by young, terrified mothers — but instead has been used to hand off out-of-control teenagers or, in the case of the father of 10, to escape financial and personal despair.

The spate of abandonments has prompted an outcry about parental irresponsibility and pledges to change the state law. But it has also cast a spotlight on the hidden extent of family turmoil around the country and what many experts say is a shortage of respite care, counseling and especially psychiatric services to help parents in dire need.

Do you have compassion – or disgust – for a parent who abandons his or her child in a safe place because the parent cannot or will not care for the child anymore?

The question has sparked debate.

Last week, an out-of-work widower abandoned nine of his children at a Nebraska hospital. The man said he was overwhelmed after his wife's death and couldn’t pay his bills or support the children, so he anonymously left the five boys and four girls – ages 1 to 17 – at Creighton University Medical Center's emergency room. (Relatives have since taken in the children.)

The man faces no legal sanction under state's new Safe Haven law, which allows caregivers to abandon children at hospitals without fear of prosecution. 

Immediately, some people blasted the man on message boards and online discussion threads, calling him selfish and irresponsible for abandoning his children. Others said the man deserves compassion.

I think this man deserves the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying pin a medal on his chest. I don't know if he was a good father, or why he didn't call his city or county social services office or turn to one of his relatives for help. But at least he left the kids safe. Too many parents in a similar situation have neglected, abused or killed their children.

By the way, it appears that all 50 states have some type of Safe Haven law, though many are intended for mothers who want to legally give up newborns, not for parents looking to abandon older children. Nebraska's law has been interpreted as allowing parents to abandon kids of all ages, including teenagers. Now elected officials are considering revising the law to set an age limit. 

I think overwhelmed parents of kids of all ages – including teenagers – should have an option that avoids something horrible happening to the children. Are Safe Haven laws the answer? People disagree, but I have to think everyone supports any way to give every child a safe home.

For more information on Safe Haven laws in the United States, visit
http://www.nationalsafehavenalliance.org.

But I thought it (possibly equally??) outrageous or unbelievable when I heard that Nebraska had legalized child abandonment...

Arizona and many other states have passed "Safe Haven" laws that allow a baby to be "dropped off" (ie, aboandoned) at a local fire station/hospital etc with a certain amount of time, I guess to avoid things like the dumpster story.  In one way I am glad that people don't abort the baby and have an opportunity to give them life instead.  Arizona I believe has a 1 week period after the baby is born - North Dakota allows up to 1 year!

But Get this - Nebraska passed a law recently that allows a child to be "dropped off" (abandoned) at a local hospital up to the age of 19! Read the Story here

This is insane to me.  The story quotes a lawmaker that was "surprised" when 2 older kids were actually dropped off (abandoned) over the weekend - one was 11 years old, and another 15 year old was dropped by someone else.  This is a sad account of our political system failing to uphold the role/responsibilities and values of family in our society, and not to mention the degradation of our morals and values as people that we would abandon our children.  They claimed that they hope this will alleviate abuse situations for children and teens - more likely it will allow parents to cop out of their responsibility to raise children.

Children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3) - He gave them to us and expects us to love them and raise them the best we can and introduce them to Him as their creator, their father who loves and forgives them and accepts them no matter what they may have done, because they are willing to accept His forgiveness through faith in his son Jesus Christ who died for our sins.

Ephesians 6:4 (Amplified Bible)

"Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord."

Is this a good precedent to set? I mean, as a future mother of a teen boy who I KNOW will drive me nuts from time to time, I can't imagine just abandoning my boy. This would truly be the mother of all 'abandonment issues'!

Apparently one of his kids from his second marriage wrote a book about him and neglected to mention all of his children, suggesting that, perhaps, the children from his second marriage were not involved in the lives of their half siblings.

This is disturbing to me.  The way he dumped his first wife is bad enough (apparently, after she waited for him all those years while he was a POW, she got into a crippling accident.  The 40 something McCain, who apparently didn't want to be burdened with a cripple, began cheating on his wife with a 25 year old, the woman who he is now married to), but if he proceeded to abandon his children from his first marriage afterward that is unacceptable.  Hopefully he at least paid child support, but you would think that the presidential candidate who is representing the interests of the Christian Right would not find it acceptable to leave children without a male role model.  It is the Christian Right, after all, who are so adamant that a father's presence is crucial for a child's development.

While I don't see a fathers presence in quite the same light as the Christian Right does, I do think that child abandonment is one of the worst things a man can do, and believe that it is a serious issue affecting the well being of the American culture as a whole.  I think we all need to demand clarity from John McCain on his history as a husband and father, because if this man can't even raise his own children, how can he run a country?  If he can abandon his own flesh and blood, what kind of care will he have for the rest of us Americans whom he has not even met?

Dead beat dads are not fit to run a country.

The facility has 16 children in its care.  The group has land on which to build their own facility and is in need of reliable sources of financial aid and material resources.  Their needs include but are not limited to:

• mattresses
• beds
• clothing
• shoes
• food
• computers for training
• school supplies

The land will contain schools, training centers, an orphanage, and a church with an auditorium.  The site of the future facility is near the present location at this address:

Ogundairo Bashorun Sunmonu Akanwo Village,

near Isolo, Oshodi /Isolo Local Government Arear,

Lagos state, Nigeria

The Project Director for the facility is Pastor Victor Ihemadu.

The physical address for the facility is:

16 Amudalatu Street Agodo Egbe

Hostel bus stop: Ikotun Egbe

Lagos, Nigeria

Phone Number: 234-802-974-3664
You can find them online at : www.mountainofprayer.faithweb.com
Email: mountainofprayer_ng@yahoo.com
grownigeria@yahoo.com

Mom Abandons Toddler, Leaves Him In Wal-Mart
Police Release Video Of Toddler Abandoned In Wal-Mart
Police Identify Boy Abandoned In Wal-Mart, Seek Mother
Child left in Frankfort Wal-Mart ID'd
Mother Of Boy Abandoned In Frankfort Wal-Mart Found In Indy
Mom of abandoned boy faces judge today

Just so that you know, there are many wonderful opportunities in the area.

You may contact North Carolina Center for Nonprofits for job listings and other information.

What are your interests and areas of expertise?

Message In response to:

hey guys I am considering aid work as a career change. I google searched under aid relief in Raleigh and found you site. I enjoyed the info I read on you site and was wondering if there is opportunity to get involved here in Raleigh? Would love to hear back.

grace and peace
golden goss
goldgoss@myway.com

Information Sources:

· The WHO Website

· CIA World Factbook

· Reuters

· Orphanages:

Chetana Children’s Center

Hope and Home

Destitute and Orphan Children Safeguarding Foundation of Nepal

Namaste Children’s House

A list of Nepalese orphanages you can contact is available on Orphanage.org.

Geopolitical Overview and Statistics on Orphaned/Abandoned Children:

· Located between the huge countries of India and China, Nepal is among the poorest and least developed countries in the world with 42% of its population living below the poverty line.

· One in three children drop out of school.

· One estimate states that 10,000 children have been orphaned, and more than a 100,000 forced to leave their villages.

· Unemployment rate: 42% (2004 est.).

· Population below poverty line: 30.9% (2004).

Child Mortality:

· 27,000 children die of dysentery every year.

· Every year sixty thousand children die before they their reach 5th birthday.

Child Labor:

· 2.6 million children are engaged in different sectors of child labor.

· At least 40,000 children are bonded laborers.

· Over 5,000 children are working and living on the streets.

· Half of street children earn a meager living, around NPRs (Nepalese Rupees) 25 per day (US$ 0.3 per day) by rag picking.

· UNICEF 1996: In Nepal there are estimated to be 26,000 children of the street, i.e. those who both work and live in the street. There are an additional 3,700 children on the street, i.e. those who live with their families but spend most of their time playing and working in the street.

· The 1981 census showed that 60% of children in the 10 to 14 age group were economically active, but an altered definition meant that the 1991 census estimated that it was 23% of all 10 to 14 year olds.

· These are the ones in some kind of regular employment (i.e. not lone street children) Children tend to work at least 8 or 10 hours per day, but mostly do not earn more than about NPRs 16 per day (US$ 0.2 per day). Of urban child workers, around one quarter have received work injuries.

Education:

· Less than half of orphaned children are literate; and of those who are, most are barely literate as a result of non-formal education programmes such as the Children's Feeding Project (one organisation which is supported by the Trust).

· 73% of women 15 years or older are illiterate.

Childcare:

· Food Crisis

· Out of 2.5 million disabled people, among them 5 % are children.

Healthcare:

· There is only one Children's Hospital.

· 450 pregnant mothers out of 100,000 die in childbirth every year.

· Only 4% of women are attended by trained health workers during childbirth.

· Nepal is one of more than 20 countries have serious problems of malnutrition and stunted growth as a result of the food crisis that has set back anti-poverty efforts by years- the World Health Organization.

· The first case of HIV in Nepal was reported in 1988. Since then the Nepali government statistics list under 60,000 cases, while The World Health Organization (WHO) actually reported over 200,000 cases of HIV, a much more realistic number. CIA World Factbook Reports 61,000.

Sexual Exploitation / Illegal Human Trafficking:

· Nepal has the number one child disappearance rate in the world.

· Annually 12,000 women and children are trafficked to India.

· 34 % of marriages are children under 15 years of age.

· According to the WHO, Kathmandu is a major center of prostitution.

· There is a far greater proportion of boys than girls among the street children. A major cause of this imbalance is that many girls are duped into sexual exploitation. It is difficult to know how many are involved in this. In 1996 UNICEF estimated that each year, 4,000 to 5,000 girls between 10 and 14 years old are trafficked to India.

The only clues police have are a hand written note along with a bottle and diapers found in a pack back he was wearing

Isn't that a bitch?  Dumped off at Wal-Mart.  With a note from your mom.  Calling you "Martin."  Sad thing is, the foster parents say the kid doesn't answer to Martin.  So his mom took away his mom, his home, his name....

Firstly, I'd not abandon my child like a mangy kitten.  But if, for the sake of the discussion, I was going to?  I would have perhaps took him to a store where the clientele was a little more ......prepared for the strain of another child.  I feel like if I'm desperate enough to (metaphorically) pin the sign (Free Child To Good Home) on my kid's back, I should at least try to set him up nicely.

Puzzling to me, however, is why the police want to reunite him with his family. Why? His family clearly did not want him. There is no mistake.  She did not just "forget him." Note and everything. She dumped him off.  I think the priority here should be to find this baby a new home where he has a decent shot of getting to stay.

www.thefishermenrelief.org

The Fishermen

POB 17171

Raleigh, NC 27619

Please contact us if you have a machine available!

trinity.oak@prodigy.net

Horatio and Olivia are actually going through with it and leaving their son. That's amazingly cold.

Not that I'm going to mind seeing the end of them. They turned out to be awfully one-note characters who hit their one note a bit too often in too short a time. But this is a darn good way to see them out--an act of heartlessness that would be awfully difficult to top.

I almost wonder if this wasn't premeditated on their part. There aren't many parents who would abandon their son on a whim, even if that kid were an adult and Sturdivant Kleeb, after attending his wedding and ragging on the in-laws-to-be with him and ultimately granting their blessing. It would also explain why Horatio had it in mind to suspect that the whole wedding might be an April Fool's prank; it's a pretty weird thing to come up with out of the blue, unless he was engaged in something similarly harebrained.

Whatever it is, though, they're being sent off with some views of curiously creepy cows. I guess it's understandable; I'd be creepy if you called me an "uncooked meal." (Of course, I'm generally considered creepy anyhow, although I think that empirical evidence doesn't put me at a level any creepier than anyone else in my circle of friends.)

I do know that Horatio's final statement is going to be controversial. Most of the political discourse in this country over the past few years has been predicated on the notion that urban areas are decidedly not the real world. Being a city-dweller, and most decidedly real, I hope that this doesn't become the launching point for a new plotline. (Or I'm going to get really creepy. Cow creepy.)

Ok so let me start with...

It was supposed to be an AWESOME movie.... It won 2 Oscars with another 46 wins & 40 nominations. Am I crazy for not liking it? Maybe I am, or maybe the critics are on something. Give me some of what they have! I am VERY glad I did not see this movie in the theater (I had thought about it). I am a bit disappointed I rented it from Blockbuster and not Redbox because it would have been cheaper.

The movie was very slow. It jumped forward in time without making note of it. At times it had me scratching my head and WORST of all I thought the ending was so stupid.  The cinematography was good I will give the critics that but everything else pretty much blew. I liked the acting. I HATED the score (background music, sounds, etc). The movie gave me a headache.

Speaking of this movie. My husband came home yesterday and told me his co-worker bought There Will Be Blood. He then told me of the conversation that transpired.

 My husband: "did you open it yet?"

His co-worker "No... WHY?

My husband "DON'T, rent it first and then decide if you want to own it".

So it is not just me people. I give the movie 2 stars with a reminder to myself not to watch anymore Academy Award Winners before hearing a review from someone who has seen it first.

Next let's go with...

I saw the cover of this movie and thought "why have I not heard anything about this movie before". Usually that is a bad sign... though I have found a couple of good movies that way. The movie had some really good actors in it. One being Jennifer Connelly, who happens to be one of my husband's favorites because he thinks she is hot, not because of her acting skills (even though he will tell you otherwise). I do not think she is hot but I do like her acting.

The acting was pretty good. The story was ok nothing out of the ordinary. Everything else was alright. This movie was very depressing. After the movie ended I seriously was crying and I was feeling horrible. I was like WTF.  (read: I had no idea why I was crying). I do not know if I would have liked this movie more if I had not been a parent but since I am one I guess I will never know.

Note: I do hope I never have to find out what the parents were going through. I give the movie 3 stars. If you like depressing movies then watch this one.

Usually one saves the best for last but not me...

I was ALWAYS a fan of this T.V. show. I was very excited when I heard the movie was being made and even more so when it came out. I wanted to see it in the theater but never got a chance to, so when it came out on DVD I just HAD rent it. I wanted to buy it but my husband would not "let me" because he was did not have a much faith in the movie as I did. I am very glad he did not "allow" me to purchase it.

I was EXTREMELY disappointed in this movie. I did not like the acting (even though I like the actors), the music was way to trendy (I am not even that old), and a lot of the movie seemed forced (read: they were trying too hard). I think the movie was directed at the tween and teen age groups. I should have paid more attention to the movie poster. The movie was so bad my two children were not even interested in it... Let me take that back and instead say the only parts my kids liked were the singing ones.

I have one friend who LOVED this movie (she happens to be just outside of a teenager).  I think true Alvin and the Chipmunk fans will be just as disappointed as I was. This movie gets 1 star.

A pretexto de buscar a sua própria felicidade, pode uma mãe abandonar seus quatro filhos?

Primeiro, comentando sobre o título do filme. O título original "Dare Mo Shiranai" significa: ninguém sabe. O título nacional, "Ninguém pode saber", deixa uma idéia de ser um ato de escolha. Enquanto que "ninguém sabe" traz o significado de um abandono.

Em relação ao roteiro do filme, ele foi baseado numa história real lida num noticiário. Partindo dessa notícia, foi criado uma história. Uma longa história! E qual seria essa nova versão?

Começa com, uma mãe e seus filhos indo morar num prédio onde é proibido família grande. Sendo assim, ela chega apenas com o mais velho, Akira, que tem 12 anos. Outros dois filhos menores chegam dentro de malas. E uma outra, o Akira vai buscar na calada da noite. Ah! Os quatro são filhos de pais diferentes.

Com isso, aos olhos dos vizinhos e do senhorio, Akira é o único filho. O único que tem permissão para sair de casa. Para também ir às compras. Mas com a tarefa de cuidar da casa e dos irmãos, enquanto a mãe trabalha, nem à escola pode freqüentar. Um desejo dele que não pode realizar. Porém, a história não fica apenas nessa rotina.

Num belo dia, eis que essa mãe resolve ir embora. Chega a ser revoltante quando na despedida à Akira, joga em seus pequenos ombros uma pesada carga, uma responsabilidade que seria sua (dessa "mãe"). E quando ele diz que ela está sendo egoísta, ela sai com essa: "Egoísta? Não tenho permissão de ser feliz?"

Com ainda um número considerável de jovens sendo mães tão precocemente; tão "imunes" ao fator responsabilidade, o filme põe um dedo na ferida. Permissão para ser feliz, todos têm. Mas desde que não destrone outros sonhos. Que não faça com que outras vidas paguem por isso. Sejamos sim, felizes, mas não as custas da infelicidade, do "patrocínio" de outras pessoas. Principalmente, quando são seus próprios filhos, e que além de tudo sendo eles apenas crianças. Crianças que também querem viver, serem felizes e livres. Não terem que viver confinados por causa da falta de juízo da mãe.

Com a partida dessa mãe, acompanhamos a saga desse pequeno herói, Akira. Torcendo por ele. Pois ele faz de tudo para ser o pai e a mãe de seus irmãos. Ele tenta, com toda a sua frágil força. Com aquilo que ele sabe fazer. Mas que ainda é uma criança. Mesmo assim, ele segue adiante, errando e aprendendo.

Me vi também segurando aquelas mãos trêmulas no finalzinho. Não deu para segurar as lágrimas. Bravo, Akira! Foste um grande herói!

Nota: 10.

Por: Valéria Miguez.

Ninguém pode saber (Dare Mo Shiranai / Nobody knows). Japão. 2004. Direção e Roteiro: Hirokazu Koreeda. Com: Yuya Yagira (Akira), Momoko Shimizu. Gênero: Drama. Duração: 141 minutos.

Man, woman!.. it is I! I whom you have killed! Do you not remember?

It is I! I whom you have defied the right to live! To see the world! To love and be loved.. it is I .. it is I..

You! How dare you impregnate her! If you don’t have any plans to sustain her! You who vowed endless love and care to that woman! Do you not have any heart? Cannot you feel her pain? Cannot your ears hear my scream? I want to live!! Live!! Live!! And you call yourself a man? You who kills a poor child? And destroys a woman’s life  You, my father.. Your blood runs through me, and yet you kill me? You have made me feel hatred before I could even spell it!

Woman!(point at woman) You! Who thoughtlessly gave life to me! You.. who also.. took it away.. Cannot you feel my heart close to you? Beating with you? Our emotions are one yet you could not feel my pain.. Did you not hear my heart beating? Saying.. I want to live?!  Mother.. Your blood runs through my veins and yet you killed me! You have made me feel hatred even before I feel love!

Do you not want to keep me? Am I not worth keeping?

I, an aborted child who thirsts for life.. I WANT TO LIVE! I WANT TO LIVE! I WANT TO LIVE!

Will I be remembered? Or be devoured to the bad memories of yesterday?

What have I done wrong to deserve this? Am I not your child mother? Father? Do you not love me? In vain my tears are wet on Heaven's grey cheek.. now I..  I am only fruit who ripen even before it could grow..

 -kenjay-

There are said to be 3 top reasons for child abandonment; first is for the fact that the mother is a single parent, second is because the child is a fruit of an illicit affair, and third is because of poverty. Child abandonment caused by being a single parent is brought by the fact that they cannot raise the child alone, that this was an affair that the father would not care about, the mother herself was also an abandoned mother, child abandonment caused by an illicit affair is brought about by the fact that the mother was guilty for the fact that this was a fruit of a wrong relationship, they could not bare thinking what the public would say about it, and both parties have families and a single child brought by this illicit affair would surely ruin both families, child abandonment by poverty is very common here in Philippines, knowing the condition of most of the Filipino's that are poor and unable to feed themselves, having a child in the house would surely not come convenient.

One thing that bothers me most is the question that; is child abandonment a crime? a choice of doing the lesser evil? or simply an act done by the love of mother for her child?  I am thankful for the fact that the mother did not consider abortion during her pregnant days, for surely that would be an unforgivable crime in the eyes of man and God, this is an act of choosing the lesser evil, but still I cannot blame them for abandoning the child for as how i see it, they wish nothing more but the best for their child, say if the child was brought by an illicit affair, even if the mother can feed and educate a child, the child will only grow with hatred as his/her surrounding, by the fact that he/she was the a child of an illicit affair, hated by both families, and if by poverty and single parent, they know properly that they cannot feed the child if they bring ti with them, it will only die of hunger, the child will be deprived of education, he will grow of poverty and will only bring more poverty in the succeeding years, the mother only took her chances of leaving the child, hoping that the child would be adopted by people who can support the child's education, who can feed the child, who can give him/her a home..

Though I may consider it a cruel thing to do to abandon a child for the care of others, I also cannot deny the fact that it was simply an act done by a mother's love for a child, only her consideration for the situation of the child, her child..

Child abandonment is not because the mother does not love the child, it is actually a HUGE sacrifice to give up your child, for the care of others, away from you, your own blood, a child you carried for 9 months, a child of your own.. for me, child abandonment is an act done by the incomparable love of a mother for her child.. that she made a great sacrifice.. for the future of the child.. come to think of it, the mother did not aborted the child, that alone is an act of love for the child and an act of responsibility. Child abandonment is simply a choice between doing the lesser evil and the greater evil.

-kenjay-

Police have released security camera footage of the person who did this. Unfortunately, the images are too hazy to be of much help.

But what's really weird is that no one has come forward to identify the child---not a neighbour, not a relative, not anyone at all.

The child, who spent two hours on the concrete floor beside a cold steel railing, had signs of trauma and bruising, and is described as having a "dark, despondent stare." She was face down and bleeding, when she was discovered by a woman, who initially thought the child was a doll. The woman would have ignored the "doll" had she not heard a whimper.

Now, get this, the penalty for child abandonment is nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Apparently, the laws of the land place the value of small children and animals only slightly above that of, say, a gnarly old tree in your front yard.

This is what the Canadian Criminal Code has to say:

Every one who unlawfully abandons or exposes a child who is under the age of ten years, so that its life is or is likely to be endangered or its health is or is likely to be permanently injured, (a) is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years; or (b) is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding eighteen months.(Gawd, who wrote this? It's barely coherent.)

So, go ahead. Got a kid under ten you don't want anymore? No worries. Just drop him off in a field somewhere, and get on with your life. You may have to serve a few days in prison, but probably not.

According to the Canadian Children's Rights Council, most child abandonment cases are not even prosecuted!

The child is being held by authorities and is up for adoption.