Last year, when I was slowly beginning to tell friends of my bisexuality I was deeply afraid of what my parents would think of me, considering the fact that of the countless family members in my life none that I knew of were LGBT. I had only began writing love poems with a same sex theme, which I continue to do, but was very afraid of what my family would think, given the fact that they were supportive of this part of my life's endeavors. When they found out, through a third party, they were understandably disappointed (and were further discouraged when nasty blogs made earlier this year were written about me).

I don't talk too much about the blogs, and I won't talk too much about my family, out of respect. But I will say this. The blogs (as devastating as they were) and the love and support I have always received (and still do) from my family and friends have all made me feel much stronger, both as a bisexual and as a human being. I feel wonderful knowing now that I can tell my own father (whose could otherwise care less about LGBT issues and for some of the poetry I write) that I love him and for him to say it right back to me. The same can go for my mother, too. She, like her husband, is as caring and supportive. And I thank them for that. God bless my parents. If I could think of two people in which to have for great role models in life, it would be them. And my only wish is that every parent in this world with LGBT children could view them first as a human being in which they helped create. But then again I'd have to think of that line from the song "Over The Rainbow" in which Judy Garland argues "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh, why can't I?"

Thankfully though, my coming out story is becoming rarer and rarer. Today's youth are privileged to live is a more accepting society. Even the church I go to is extremely accepting of both non-traditional families and heterosexual couples. Gay-straight alliances are rampant in public schools all over the world and new college grads don't have to worry about being discriminated from their first "real" jobs in a couple of states.

If your still in the closet and your ready to come out today then read some of Kathy Belge's articles at Lesbian Life on about.com's website for how to come out -the right way.

• Should I Come Out?
• Coming Out To Parents
• Coming Out At Work

Icon of the Week: Brian Molko

Apart from rumours about a random girl in my year 11 class Brian Molko was the first person I really heard of who identified as bisexual. I was 17, in the darkest depths of teenage angst, and Placebo really spoke to that market. More edgy than current emo music Placebo made me feel dark and powerful and marked my first real step away from mainstream music into developing my own tastes.

I thought Brian Molko was beautiful, probably the first man feminine man I ever saw (and a secret fetish of mine ever since). He has the kind of voice often called haunting but I think it's more demanding - gathering in your attention so he can hook you with his penetrating eyes. I enjoy his music, and although no longer my favourite I will look out for the next Placebo album.

"does she work?", yes i replied
"is she on drugs", no, i replied
mmmm...he pondered for a second...well she sounds a hell of a lot better than some of the boys you've dated!

Name or Nick Name : Karen
Country or City you are from: : Australia
Your Age : 31
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : Bi
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 13
How old were you when you first told someone? : 19
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I think it just started to manifest more and more in my experience that I was probably speaking a lot about it indirectly
What made you choose that person to tell? : trust
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Dad, I have a girl-friend!
How did you feel? : apprehension
What was the person’s reaction? : cool
What did they say? : "does she work?", yes i replied
"is she on drugs", no, i replied
mmmm...he pondered for a second...well she sounds a hell of a lot better than some of the boys you've dated!
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : close
What’s it like now? :
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? :
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : sometimes lesbian groups profess bi cool/trans cool/gay friendly etc but they often only want other lesbians around. I was a member of a group for 2 years when they decided to make it  exclusively lesbian. No bi's included, with a sorry if youre pissed off touch at the end. Its more bi-phobia and its common enough in the Sydney scene
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : I think bi's can pass as both lesbian and straight depending on the partner they have at the time. Its important that you know who you.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? :
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? :
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : take them places/show them some clubs/groups etc...tell them all that I was not told about
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : nah!!

My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT'S allowed.

Name or Nick Name : Gaz
Country or City you are from: : Pietermaritzburg, South Africa
Your Age : 29
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Normal, although somewhat non-conformist.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : Pre pubescent, like 8...
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Sort of. I was involved with an older man. Told me he'd dump me if I didn't "come out". Perfect excuse for me.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was the closest to me. My Mother.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : No, but it was in a looong letter. Don't do confrontation well. I wrote a 5 page letter all about honesty and trust.
How did you feel? : Terrified. Not of my mom, though. My dad, another story.
What was the person’s reaction? : Quiet. I thought I'd get home after the weekend and my things would be on the pavement.
What did they say? : Mom: " Dear, I've known since you were 3!"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Much closer. She now loves my boyfriend.
What’s it like now? : Still very close.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Nope. Always beat them to the post.
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : My boss' boyfriend. The word "moffie" is the only one in his vocabulary with more that 1 syllable.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : I can be proud of WHO I am. WHAT I am, however, is just an essential part of who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT'S allowed.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : People who think they have a reason to fear telling people close to them about their sexuality. Some of them unfortunately, DO have reason. I find it difficult to comprehend because it was so easy for me.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don't make a huge issue out of it. It's a part of you, just like your personality. People who really love you will accept what you are, because they have already accepted WHO you are.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No.
Anything you want to add? : Being open about your sexuality is a right. You don't see straight people coming out of their closets. Why should we have to hide it?

Which is the unseen creature that lurks below the dark surface of the water beyond the beach?

I know what you’re thinking.

Ooooh, scary! (Said very sarcastically.)

Of course, by today’s standards, no, but back in 1975 this was some scary shizit!

To finish reading the rest of this article please click on Jaws is gonna' get ya'!

Sometimes, however, avoidance is not possible.  I had a slight situation at work that I could not ignore.  A couple years ago, I probably would have ignored it.  I would have told myself that it wasn't worth bringing the issue up with the person who offended me.  I would have forced myself to let it go the best way I knew how (which really meant still being upset about it months later when that same person upset me again). 

This time was different.  Apparently I'm growing as a person.  Or I just seem to care less and less what some people think.  Or something.  I don't know. 

I responded to the person that I felt was in the wrong and initially got a negative response (think bad humor and sarcasm).  I decided I wasn't going to just let this person treat me that way and I responded back.  I tried to stay professional and respectful, even though I felt that he wasn't. 

We ended up having a decent conversation about it.  I nearly cried.  But only because I was that angry at him and the situation.  I managed to hold it together because the last thing I wanted was to look like the overly emotional, way too sensitive female.

So I guess the point of this post is that the part of me that hates confrontation doesn't always win out anymore.  Sometimes the part of me that feels a situation is unjust or unfair wins out and speaks up.  I don't know what's caused that change, but I have to say, I'm glad it did...as uncomfortable as it may be. 

How can I expect myself (or anyone else) to stand up for social injustices if I am unwilling to stand up for myself with smaller things?  Sure, pick your battles.  I'm not going to go all confrontation-crazy or anything, but when it's important, I feel like I'm less likely to back down now.

Before I post the Pokhara week (which has so much detail it is going to take me a while) I decided to clarify LBGTI for all those that don't know what exactly LBGTI means. Many people I have talked to find these definitions confusing. Sunil asked us to make a video to help  clear it up. The film is being shown at the beginning of the talent contest to help educate the audience on what they are about to see.  

L = Lesbian, that is women who have sex with women

G = Gay, that is men that have sex with men

B = Bisexuals. That is people that have sex with both sexes.

T = Transgender or 3rd Gender. These can be male to female transgenders or female to male transgenders. This is when the person feels he/she should be the other gender.

I = Intersex. That is a child born with both or indeterminate sexual organs e.g. hermaphrodites 

These definitions are further complicated in Nepal because of the strength of gender roles here. Gay men do not go out with transgenders but stick to the male sexual and gendered partners. Male to female transgenders have no interest in gay men but want straight men. Lesbians and female to male transgenders do however go out with each other. A man going out with a male to female transgender would be counted as heterosexual as in Nepal it seems the gender characteristics are more important than the sexual ones.  So far no one has owned up to being bisexual. 

Once the video we was finished we showed it to a friend that comes from the rural villages. His response surprised me and made me realise how much we take the awareness of homosexuality for granted. He couldn't grasp the definitions or the ideas behind them. What for me seemed very straight forward and everyday was from another planet for him. He was okay with the notion of transgender, but the rest was not something he could fathom. It made me understand the problem BDS faces in terms of education and HIV.  

El capitalismo, la monogamia, la monosexualidad, están de enhorabuena gracias a la crisis económica muchos jóvenes no se pueden independizar de sus padres. Tienen que vivir castamente en los hogares de sus progenitores bien porque no encuentran un trabajo bien remunerado, o ningún trabajo, bien porque el banco no les da créditos para la hipoteca.

La crisis aprieta fuertemente y no nos da alternativa. El gobierno español ya piensa en devolver a los inmigrantes a sus países de origen para maquillar el número de parados que padecemos.

La libertad la da la independencia económica y mientras no lo seamos no podremos vivir como queramos.  Así son las cosas.

Hold up, buddy. There’s no need to torment yourself if you if you find yourself attracted to men and women both. Sexual desire is not an either/or proposition. You don’t have to be a “pure” gay, “pure” straight, or even a “pure” bisexual. The word “pure” doesn’t mean anything. People are frequently surprised by how their desires change over time. Just go with the feeling. Don’t feel hemmed in by the need to put a label on it.

Now on to the next thing: why do you believe you need to get married to a girl to have a good sex life? It sounds like you’ve been having a lot of fun as unmarried guy already. In any event, if you do decide to get married or have a long-term relationship with anyone, male or female—it’s a good idea to let them know that you have desires for both sexes. You may or may not want an open relationship, but it’s still one of those pieces of information that any long-term partner would want to know.

"dykes are getting uglier and uglier nowadays"

Name or Nick Name : Elaine
Country or City you are from: : England

Your Age : 18
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 17
How old were you when you first told someone? : 17 (I moved fast)
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Not really. It was a very messy coming out because I spent a lot of time secretly thinking I was bisexual between eleven and seventeen. But after I fell in love with a girl and had my heart brutally crushed, I did some serious thinking and started telling people I knew I gay.
What made you choose that person to tell? : I think the first person I really told was one of my closest friends, Ellen. I chose her because she already knew I liked women, but didn't realise it was just them. She seemed like the natural person to confide in, being incredibly cool and all.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Something along the lines of "Err, I think I don't like men. At all".
How did you feel? : Terrified! I was scared she and other people wouldn't believe me.
What was the person’s reaction? : Very supportive, though she did ask a few questions. I didn't mind them because I knew I was sure.
What did they say? : "That's cool". She's a star.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Fine. Just fine.
What’s it like now? : Good. There have been a few times where she's done or said things concerning sexuality that have irritated me, but it's just as good as it was.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? :
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : Hmm, once. I was enrolling and was angry at the queue jumpers, and one of them remarked that "dykes are getting uglier and uglier nowadays". I swore at her.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : partly_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It's a relief. No more pretending, no more assumptions about you on the part of other people.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I'm not religious, and England is quite a tolerant country: both of these things made it less complicated.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Lying, missing out, being afraid, every step out seeming gigantic and being convinced you can't do it. It's very dark in there.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Do it: it gets incredibly easy after a few tries. Don't be put off if you have negative reactions, and be proud of who you are. Your quality of life is improved and you might even get set up on a few hot dates (it happens).
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I think I'd want to do it more cleanly- all at once. I'd like to be able to wave a magic wand and have all the people I care about just *know*.
Anything you want to add? : I'm looking forward to going to university where I can be out from the start.

The opening act was Ryan Montbleau.  He was pretty good.  Not really my speed, but he had a good voice and interesting lyrics.  In his defense, I hadn't had caffeine in several hours and I was kinda sleepy with the heavy dinner sitting in my stomach.  And people were walking around a lot which distracted me to no end. 

After he played, there was a short break and then Ani entered the stage.  She was amazing.  I can't even remember half of what she played because I was just mesmerized.  The woman can certainly rock out a guitar.  Even when I didn't know the song she was singing, I just stood there and stared in awe. 

The energy in the theater was insane.  The audience was predominantly women (of course).  On several songs, you could hear the audience singing along and it just increased the energy in the room.

She, of course, made several political comments which were all met with applause and/or laughter.  She also read an amazing poem she'd written. 

My three favorite performances were probably Gravel, Napoleon, and Both Hands, mostly because everyone really got into those.  The whole thing was great though. 

I'm still in a little bit of awe.  I want to go back.  Like today.  :)

We left and headed back home.  We briefly thought about standing in the alley by her tour bus, but decided to start the drive back home instead.  We were all sleepy by the time we made it home, but it was totally worth it.

                      ~William Cullen Bryant~

For instance, if a gay person, who is working hard to legalize same-sex marriage in their state, votes for McCain or Obama, then you'd have to stand back and ask why? Why would that person vote for someone clearly not on the same page as themselves? Perhaps they feel they have a limited choice of either Republican or Democrat. FYI: Florida will have 13 presidential candidates on the ballot Nov. 4th.

This not only is inaccurate; I argue that this thought process is the root of a serious crack in our government system. It is what keeps the two party system in power -- even when they work against the very people that put them in power. Sure there are many arguments to vote for either Obama or McCain, however they all lack one key ingredient -- reason. One will say, "Oh, I agree with that other candidate, but he can't win, so I'm going to vote for the Democrat or Republican." Another may say, "I never hear about that candidate on the news so I'm not going to vote for him." Etc., Etc., Etc...the list of excuses is endless.

At the end of the day, you are the one that has to live with your vote for President of the United States. Are you going to vote your conscience or vote for who's popular? Have you even researched the candidates fully, or are you going to let the media decide for you? Have you really thought through your decision? If you have answered "no" to any of the previous questions, then you owe it not only to yourself, but to the Nation to fully investigate the candidates that will be on the ballot.

If you're a Republican, and you vote straight down the ballot for all Republicans, you have done yourself a disservice and frankly, show a lack of interest and knowledge. Perhaps your candidates are the best choices and most in line with your values, however perhaps they are not. You will not know until you check out the other candidates.

So, back to the gay individual choosing Obama on November 4th: this is a tragic mistake because Obama does not and will not support gay marriage. Even the Democratic Party & Republican Party do not support same-sex marriage.

Who does? Believe it or not the Libertarian Party and Bob Barr do -- I know it's a shocker but, look here:  http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid54947.asp

Actually, we believe you shouldn't have to run to the government asking permission to marry in the first place. But, for so long as we are, we don't feel it should be discriminatory.

Only the Libertarian Party fully supports GLBT rights, while the Democratic and the Republican parites continually work against the GLBT community. Sure, they give in with a small crumb here and a small crumb there; however, that is just wrong! Either you are or are not in the camp of non-discriminatory reason.  That's like the Clinton "Don't ask, Don't tell" BS. I mean what is that? A slap in the face to the GLBT community; but, yet they continue to come out in droves for the Democrats.

Similarly, the conservative Republican voting for McCain is beyond any sense of reason. No matter how the Republican Party attempts to re-package McCain, there is no way to consider him a conservative.

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you it is time to join a political party that is completely in line with your values and no longer settle for the status quo of the two larger parties.

Make a statement this November 4th by not only joining the Libertarian Party, but also vote for Bob Barr!

Bob Barr:  http://www.bobbarr2008.com

Libertarian Party: http://www.lp.org

We left late afternoon and headed to Chicago.  We rocked out to some Ani classics on the way and made it to Chicago in record time (even missing any rush hour traffic).  We met up with a friend and discovered she lived right by the Chicago Theater.  This meant a) free parking b) parking less than half a block from Ani's bus c) clean bathroom breaks and d) another friend to have dinner with.

We walked to some local restaurant for dinner.  It was a pretty short walk, however, I forgot how cold 65 degrees can feel in Chicago.  Damn wind.  Anyway, the restaurant was cool.  The food was pricey and a little weird (think rabbit and elk with an assortment of chicken and seafood), however I did find a vegetarian option.  The food was amazing and totally worth the price.  I had the best Risotto I've ever eaten. 

My two straight friends were drooling over the cute waiter.  I tried to convince one of them to let me ask him for his number for her, but she wouldn't have any of it.  I guess we're really not in 5th grade anymore. 

After dinner we headed back to our friend's AMAZING apartment.  In her living room, she has huge glass windows overlooking downtown.  Not only can you see downtown, but you can see into other people's living spaces, as well.  The three of us non-native Chicagoans turned off the lights, kneeled on the couch by the window, and peered out to see what exciting things we might see across the street.  Really all we saw were people cooking dinner, watching tv, sitting on couches, and walking around.  No naked people or crazy sexual excapades. 

After we'd had enough of our brief stint into the peeping-tom lifestyle, we headed off to the concert. 

You'll have to wait for tomorrow for that story...